An open relationship usually means an arrangement where each partner goes off on their own and hooks up. That to me is not really a relationship at all. One partner is likely to be getting the short end of the relationship and may well be a reluctant participant and part of an uneven power dynamic.
Having said that, I will add that I am not convinced that we as a species are programed to be monogamous . That is clearly evidenced by the amount of incidents of infidelity that occur in marriage. Wanderlust often prevails and many are powerless when confronted by it. Yet there also seems to be the need among most people to pair bond with a significant other. So the question becomes, how do we bridge that gap between competing needs?
The problem lies in the fact that in our society we are indoctrinated form an early age about issues of sex.....when you may indulge and with who. One of the most powerful rules is that if married or in a relationship, it must never be with someone other than your partner. We blindly operate on that premise and view “cheating” as the ultimate betrayal. That single fact has destroyed countless relationships, but must it be that way?
The allure of non monogamy is not about one having commitent issues . It is far more complicated that that
Rules regarding sexual norms and practices are ever evolving and perhaps its time for this rule to evolve. But it requires some creativity , cooperation and most importantly trust on the part of both partners. As I previously stated the concept of an “open relationship” defined by each person going off on their own is probably not a good or sustainable plan
However, there are many forms of non monogamy all of which may alternately be under the umbrella term or responsible non monogamy, ethical non monogamy or consensual nonmonogamy Besides the aforementioned “open relationship” there are relationship style in which the couple explores and pursues their sexual adventurism together. It might involves a couple dating another couple, or a single person. It could also take the form of a small group gathering at a house party. There are also clubs –known as on premises or swing clubs for people to play. It should be noted though that swinging often connotes a more anonymous, impersonal style of hooking up with may not be for everyone
The important thing is that –unlike the open relationship, these other forms of non-monogamy support and even require a strong and trusting relationship with ones primary-sometimes called nesting-partner. These mutual erotic adventures can make a good relationship even better through sharing and building on the trust as long as one never ever loses sight of who their first responsibility is too. At the same time, anyone who goes into any form of nonmonogamy in the hope of salvaging a failing relationship is likely to find that it will not work
Lastly, no discussion on nonmonogamy would be complete without a mention of polyamory, essentially a group marriage with everyone is in a romantic relationship with everyone else and the lines between ones primary partner and others are blurred if they exist at all. These arrangements a far less prevalent and for good reason. They are ripe for conflict and the dynamics can get very complicated.
Peace!