Open Relationships

[WinterBorn]

I have been in a polyamorous relationship. It is an open relationship.

For me it was not jealousy that caused me to stop "dating" outside my relationship. It is the scheduling and daily stuff that did it. To try and schedule two relationships is a huge hassle. Especially when women are involved (most I have dated need a more flexible schedule).

 

[0311]

I've known one couple practicing that life style, it destroyed their marriage.

 

[Blaster]

It is mostly just sex.

Well it sure isn't about bowling.

 

[Blaster]

I have been in a polyamorous relationship. It is an open relationship.

A woman or a man?

 

[Vastator]

If she asks for an "open relationship"; give it to her. Open the door, and show her out. You no longer have a relationship...

 

[WinterBorn]

A woman or a man?

My girlfriend and I were poly. Usually not together.

 

[AHZ]

I have an open relationship with both my hands.

they forced you into it.

Dr. Oct.

 

[Blaster]

Why do folks get married if they want to fuck other people?

 

[TheProgressivePatriot]

An open relationship usually means an arrangement where each partner goes off on their own and hooks up. That to me is not really a relationship at all. One partner is likely to be getting the short end of the relationship and may well be a reluctant participant and part of an uneven power dynamic.
Having said that, I will add that I am not convinced that we as a species are programed to be monogamous . That is clearly evidenced by the amount of incidents of infidelity that occur in marriage. Wanderlust often prevails and many are powerless when confronted by it. Yet there also seems to be the need among most people to pair bond with a significant other. So the question becomes, how do we bridge that gap between competing needs?

The problem lies in the fact that in our society we are indoctrinated form an early age about issues of sex.....when you may indulge and with who. One of the most powerful rules is that if married or in a relationship, it must never be with someone other than your partner. We blindly operate on that premise and view “cheating” as the ultimate betrayal. That single fact has destroyed countless relationships, but must it be that way?

The allure of non monogamy is not about one having commitent issues . It is far more complicated that that

Rules regarding sexual norms and practices are ever evolving and perhaps its time for this rule to evolve. But it requires some creativity , cooperation and most importantly trust on the part of both partners. As I previously stated the concept of an “open relationship” defined by each person going off on their own is probably not a good or sustainable plan

However, there are many forms of non monogamy all of which may alternately be under the umbrella term or responsible non monogamy, ethical non monogamy or consensual nonmonogamy Besides the aforementioned “open relationship” there are relationship style in which the couple explores and pursues their sexual adventurism together. It might involves a couple dating another couple, or a single person. It could also take the form of a small group gathering at a house party. There are also clubs –known as on premises or swing clubs for people to play. It should be noted though that swinging often connotes a more anonymous, impersonal style of hooking up with may not be for everyone

The important thing is that –unlike the open relationship, these other forms of non-monogamy support and even require a strong and trusting relationship with ones primary-sometimes called nesting-partner. These mutual erotic adventures can make a good relationship even better through sharing and building on the trust as long as one never ever loses sight of who their first responsibility is too. At the same time, anyone who goes into any form of nonmonogamy in the hope of salvaging a failing relationship is likely to find that it will not work

Lastly, no discussion on nonmonogamy would be complete without a mention of polyamory, essentially a group marriage with everyone is in a romantic relationship with everyone else and the lines between ones primary partner and others are blurred if they exist at all. These arrangements a far less prevalent and for good reason. They are ripe for conflict and the dynamics can get very complicated.
Peace!

 

[okfine]

sex is not the only reason for a relationship. it is just much more efficient to meet those needs within a relationship,.

An open relationship is about sex with others.

 

[Freedomisneverfree]

95% of married guys I know aren't getting any sex at all.

 

[0311]

An open relationship usually means an arrangement where each partner goes off on their own and hooks up. That to me is not really a relationship at all. One partner is likely to be getting the short end of the relationship and may well be a reluctant participant and part of an uneven power dynamic.
Having said that, I will add that I am not convinced that we as a species are programed to be monogamous . That is clearly evidenced by the amount of incidents of infidelity that occur in marriage. Wanderlust often prevails and many are powerless when confronted by it. Yet there also seems to be the need among most people to pair bond with a significant other. So the question becomes, how do we bridge that gap between competing needs?

The problem lies in the fact that in our society we are indoctrinated form an early age about issues of sex.....when you may indulge and with who. One of the most powerful rules is that if married or in a relationship, it must never be with someone other than your partner. We blindly operate on that premise and view “cheating” as the ultimate betrayal. That single fact has destroyed countless relationships, but must it be that way?

The allure of non monogamy is not about one having commitent issues . It is far more complicated that that

Rules regarding sexual norms and practices are ever evolving and perhaps its time for this rule to evolve. But it requires some creativity , cooperation and most importantly trust on the part of both partners. As I previously stated the concept of an “open relationship” defined by each person going off on their own is probably not a good or sustainable plan

However, there are many forms of non monogamy all of which may alternately be under the umbrella term or responsible non monogamy, ethical non monogamy or consensual nonmonogamy Besides the aforementioned “open relationship” there are relationship style in which the couple explores and pursues their sexual adventurism together. It might involves a couple dating another couple, or a single person. It could also take the form of a small group gathering at a house party. There are also clubs –known as on premises or swing clubs for people to play. It should be noted though that swinging often connotes a more anonymous, impersonal style of hooking up with may not be for everyone

The important thing is that –unlike the open relationship, these other forms of non-monogamy support and even require a strong and trusting relationship with ones primary-sometimes called nesting-partner. These mutual erotic adventures can make a good relationship even better through sharing and building on the trust as long as one never ever loses sight of who their first responsibility is too. At the same time, anyone who goes into any form of nonmonogamy in the hope of salvaging a failing relationship is likely to find that it will not work

Lastly, no discussion on nonmonogamy would be complete without a mention of polyamory, essentially a group marriage with everyone is in a romantic relationship with everyone else and the lines between ones primary partner and others are blurred if they exist at all. These arrangements a far less prevalent and for good reason. They are ripe for conflict and the dynamics can get very complicated.
Peace!

The one couple I knew lived in Cambell CA. They went into the marriage wanting an open relationship. Unfortunately, the Woman fell in love with a man she met, divorced her husband and moved in with new guy.

As far as I know, the husband she divorced now lives in Chula Vista (San Diego County) and is married with one child. That marriage is NOT open. The woman not did a crash and burn with the new guy, she lost her job and relocated Seattle.

 

[TheProgressivePatriot]

Why do folks get married if they want to fuck other people?

Some want it all and there is nothing wrong with that if it is done ethically

 

[AHZ]

Why do folks get married if they want to fuck other people?

ultimately, it's about stability for the children, and keeping behaviors roughly in line for the greater stability of society as a whole.

polygamous models have existed throughout history to much success, with harems for the high status males and peanuts for the poorer men.

But this model has other problems, going to human nature and economics.

jealousy abounds in the harem women and in the men who haven't standing enough to have a woman.

and society bifurcates a little quicker under this model as well.

 

[Blaster]

Some want it all and there is nothing wrong with that if it is done ethically

Ethically?

 

[Blaster]

95% of married guys I know aren't getting any sex at all.

I'm a single guy and get laid almost every week.

 

[WinterBorn]

Why do folks get married if they want to fuck other people?

Well, in my case we were not, and still aren't, married.

 

[TNHarley]

Well, in my case we were not, and still aren't, married.

Good choice

 

[TheProgressivePatriot]

Ethically?

Yes ethically. What part of that do you not understand. ? Is that all that you have to say in response to my post?

 

[Blaster]

Yes ethically. What part of that do you not understand. ? Is that all that you have to say in response to my post?

What qualifies as ethical in an open relationship?