On attracting men

[JohnDB]

I think I actually know what you are talking about; quality men do not want to be treated like a hunk of meat any more than women do and they want love and companionship just like everybody else.

Personally, what has worked for me is to just talk about subjects that interest me but aren't romantically related (this is to take the pressure off). For example, I like to talk about science and politics, and I find that quality guys also like to talk about stuff that's a bit intellectual like these. I find that it's a good way to impress upon them that I am not a shallow woman who is only after his money or his dick.

I'd avoid the politics....(battles before you even get anywhere)
But asking about his hobbies? Probably not a horrible idea....you will get an idea of how smart he is by his vocabulary and how he describes things.
If he plays sports....show up to watch. Show off some culinary skills. Guys like food.

I knew a lady that had a huge strawberry covering her face and body. Didn't get many dates at all. However, she baked cakes and snacks for the guys on a constant basis. That got her noticed.
She got married to the guy who bought her an expensive stand mixer....(yes, he was a good guy too)
However, there was another lady in our group at the same time that was always perfectly beautiful, well dressed and coordinated. Well educated and pleasant....she never got asked out by anyone.
Still single today....but she never brought food.

 

[MayorQuimby]

I'd avoid the politics....(battles before you even get anywhere)
But asking about his hobbies? Probably not a horrible idea....you will get an idea of how smart he is by his vocabulary and how he describes things.
If he plays sports....show up to watch. Show off some culinary skills. Guys like food.

I knew a lady that had a huge strawberry covering her face and body. Didn't get many dates at all. However, she baked cakes and snacks for the guys on a constant basis. That got her noticed.
She got married to the guy who bought her an expensive stand mixer....(yes, he was a good guy too)
However, there was another lady in our group at the same time that was always perfectly beautiful, well dressed and coordinated. Well educated and pleasant....she never got asked out by anyone.
Still single today....but she never brought food.

Wow that's bad news for me because I hate cooking and this is assuming I even know how to cook in the first place.

How important is food to guys? Serious question.

 

[JohnDB]

Wow that's bad news for me because I hate cooking and this is assuming I even know how to cook in the first place.

How important is food to guys? Serious question.

Depends on the guy, I'm in a recovery program for chefs....whole 12 step program and I'm stuck on the first step.

However, for most guys.....it's a 7-8 out of 10 in importance. You gotta be able to make food. Right food at the right time is ALWAYS welcome. We guys do muscle things....using muscles makes us hungry.

Just saying....we can always eat.

 

[MayorQuimby]

Depends on the guy, I'm in a recovery program for chefs....whole 12 step program and I'm stuck on the first step.

However, for most guys.....it's a 7-8 out of 10 in importance. You gotta be able to make food. Right food at the right time is ALWAYS welcome. We guys do muscle things....using muscles makes us hungry.

Just saying....we can always eat.

OK I might be in pure delusional territory here but...does there exist the possibility that a guy loves a woman so much that he will cook for her?

 

[MayorQuimby]

I'd avoid the politics....(battles before you even get anywhere)
But asking about his hobbies? Probably not a horrible idea....you will get an idea of how smart he is by his vocabulary and how he describes things.

I had to read your post again because I realized it was really good advice.

I knew a lady that had a huge strawberry covering her face and body. Didn't get many dates at all. However, she baked cakes and snacks for the guys on a constant basis. That got her noticed.
She got married to the guy who bought her an expensive stand mixer....(yes, he was a good guy too)
However, there was another lady in our group at the same time that was always perfectly beautiful, well dressed and coordinated. Well educated and pleasant....she never got asked out by anyone.
Still single today....but she never brought food.

This is really, really good advice. I had always, ALWAYS thought that the trick to getting a man, is to look beautiful. Like, well-dressed, thin, attractive-looking, ..etc. My mom has always tried to tell me that most men aren't looking for a barbie-doll to take home, I used to think this was "ugly girl talk", but now I am starting to see that she might have a point. I mean I am not a guy and even I really welcome food that's been prepared for me without me having to do any work. I imagine that guys are the same way, if not more so.

 

[Mr Natural]

OK I might be in pure delusional territory here but...does there exist the possibility that a guy loves a woman so much that he will cook for her?

Only if he’s into cooking.

 

[marvin martian]

string and stick is what you need

You use a coat hanger, right?

To kill the black babies.

 

[JohnDB]

Which brings up something unique....
Men are increasing in their culinary skills. Outdoor cooking is never viewed as "women's work" ....Blackstone has an entire product line for men....not women.

OK I might be in pure delusional territory here but...does there exist the possibility that a guy loves a woman so much that he will cook for her?

As a recovering fine dining executive Chef, I do....but I'm happily married. I owned/ran restaraunts and bakeries. It's just work.

However,
The food thing, it's one of those things that women can do to demonstrate that you understand a guy's needs and can care for him by helping him in some capacity. That you have a capacity of caregiving and assisting instead of just being yet another leech on his efforts.

From a guy's perspective, there are tons of women that want to be provided for that offer nothing in return of any real value other than a masturbatory aid.

You do not want that moniker in the white noise of the women already surrounding him. You want to stand out and rise above them....

Then there's the whole motherhood thing....he might be looking for a relationship that will provide children. Sure, you have a career, and it might be that you are successful in your career. Guys still want more. We are talking potential spouse, mother for children, standing in the community, aide for his pursuits....whatever they may be.

We men can quickly determine "givers" from "takers" because of past failed relationships.....we are surrounded by Takers but Givers get noticed.


You want a great guy? It requires something extraordinary to be noticed.
Being "barbie" is not required or really relevant when it comes to relationships.

 

[Moonglow]

What can a woman do, if the man she likes won't ask her out? I am certainly not gonna go up to a guy and ask him out.

And I can really see it happening, as the sort of men I like are very, very good-looking. These men have options, and even though I am somewhat attractive, I am really very very far from a 10. I can really see these men just sitting back and seeing me as just one among the many that I am sure just doorstep them.

Ohhh, yer a chick, I thought you were ghey.

 

[Moonglow]

You use a coat hanger, right?

To kill the black babies.

Do you have one to get rid of?

 

[Moonglow]

Hmm. Become friends with him first. That seems easy enough.

I sometimes might still act a bit awkward around him though simply because he is so good-looking.

 

[JohnDB]

My mom has always tried to tell me that most men aren't looking for a barbie-doll to take home, I used to think this was "ugly girl talk", but now I am starting to see that she might have a point. I mean I am not a guy and even I really welcome food that's been prepared for me without me having to do any work. I imagine that guys are the same way, if not more so.

That had to hurt to say...."Mom was right" can cause severe brain gear grinding for most daughters.


I'm just an old guy....I cant help myself when obvious truths finally make sense to younger people...."mom and dad tried to really help me all along" being one of those obvious truths.

 

[Twisted Gypsy Child]

You use a coat hanger, right?

To kill the black babies.

I do not discriminate Marv
MAGA babies made me moist
OODA_Loop

 

[Twisted Gypsy Child]

you oughta know

sure dave

 

[marvin martian]

I do not discriminate Marv
MAGA babies made me moist
OODA_Loop

"Human weeds", as you and Margaret Sanger refer to the black babies.

Did you make your quota for dead black kids this week? It's still 10, right?

Chop chop!

 

[Twisted Gypsy Child]

"Human weeds", as you and Margaret Sanger refer to the black babies.

Did you make your quota for dead black kids this week? It's still 10, right?

Chop chop!

I lost count after my fingers and toes

 

[Mr Natural]

What can a woman do, if the man she likes won't ask her out? I am certainly not gonna go up to a guy and ask him out.

Why not!

Just stay within your league and you’ll do fine.

 

[westwall]

Wow that's bad news for me because I hate cooking and this is assuming I even know how to cook in the first place.

How important is food to guys? Serious question.

Very, if they are real men.

 

[westwall]

OK I might be in pure delusional territory here but...does there exist the possibility that a guy loves a woman so much that he will cook for her?

Yes, it happens.

 

[BothWings]

Nothing to do with that.

When I see a guy I am really really attracted to, I start to panic on the inside and then on the outside, I act really awkward and cringeworthy.

Well, I guess that explains it then.
Try therapy.