My Wife's Birthday.

[Lumpy 1]

You know it has occurred to me there is something pretty pathetic about trying to prove you are a dumb enough drunk to drink so much you are drowning yourself in it.

I do think there is a genetic component involved, I had a pretty high tolerance from the git go, even as a teenager I could drink my friends down into the land of the Lost and still stay found.

I remember at 15 hitting my father's liquor cabinet, Scotch, going to school and giving a book report on a book I never read (just the dust jacket) and getting an A. I was like Churchill up there! And I have done that many times since in all sorts of public arenas usually to success.

I mean right now I am on beer number five and I am just starting to feel relaxed.

The times I have went to the doctor for help quitting they looked at me in disbelief at how much I was drinking. One told me flat out, "you are lucky to be here."

Then she gave me valium for the withdrawals.

Let me tell you valium and 5.9% Coopers Sparkling Ale really do get rid of withdrawals.

I remember Dennis Hopper talking about how much he used to drink and thinking “yup”, we have a mean gene in their some where that has to be put down or you will.

.. talk about drinking.. I had 1/2 a southern comfort and 7up .. and I've been out like a light for the past 2 hours...real macho.. huh....

 

[Intense]

2 Buds and 3 Beck's Oktoberfest, last night, it's been a while..... Stop yelling!!!!!..... Oh it's just my pulse.... Only kidding. God, I'm turning into a wimp though.

 

[AVG-JOE]

I wake up this morning so worse for my wear I could become a leather couch in a Texas brothel.

My wife's birthday this Saturday.

I wake up after my zombie night and say "My birthday present to you will be a sober husband."

But my wife replies, "Oh fuck off, you promise this every year. I want a necklace, and let Sammy pick it out."

A pearl necklace?

Apparently from some guy named 'Sammy'. That's a sign of a quality friendship right there.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Ya know something JW... I think if you drank a fraction as much as you would like us to believe, you'd be DEAD by now. It doesn't take too many years of drinking as hard as you purport before you wind up with Cirrhosis of the liver, and then, you're dead.

My two cents. Sorry pard, I don't buy your act. It's about as convincing as xo saying he's a doctor...

No my friend, I understand, I get it. I understand your doubt because I doubt it.


I can not believe how much I can drink.

I can never prove this, (only my wife knows the effects, my tolerance is so high even my co-workers do not know how plastered I am) and is it really something to be proud to prove anyway?

But I can drink beyond my own belief and yours, and it would seem to tomorrow too.

I sobered up and I got to thinkin' girl you[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxSSDynaTYY[/ame]

 

[Intense]

You know it has occurred to me there is something pretty pathetic about trying to prove you are a dumb enough drunk to drink so much you are drowning yourself in it.

I do think there is a genetic component involved, I had a pretty high tolerance from the git go, even as a teenager I could drink my friends down into the land of the Lost and still stay found.

I remember at 15 hitting my father's liquor cabinet, Scotch, going to school and giving a book report on a book I never read (just the dust jacket) and getting an A. I was like Churchill up there! And I have done that many times since in all sorts of public arenas usually to success.

I mean right now I am on beer number five and I am just starting to feel relaxed.

The times I have went to the doctor for help quitting they looked at me in disbelief at how much I was drinking. One told me flat out, "you are lucky to be here."

Then she gave me valium for the withdrawals.

Let me tell you valium and 5.9% Coopers Sparkling Ale really do get rid of withdrawals.

I remember Dennis Hopper talking about how much he used to drink and thinking “yup”, we have a mean gene in their some where that has to be put down or you will.

She is a quack giving you Valium for Alcohol withdrawals. It is extremely addictive, and withdrawal from Valium is worse than Heroin withdrawals. You need a new Doctor.

 

[Intense]

Ya know something JW... I think if you drank a fraction as much as you would like us to believe, you'd be DEAD by now. It doesn't take too many years of drinking as hard as you purport before you wind up with Cirrhosis of the liver, and then, you're dead.

My two cents. Sorry pard, I don't buy your act. It's about as convincing as xo saying he's a doctor...

No my friend, I understand, I get it. I understand your doubt because I doubt it.


I can not believe how much I can drink.

I can never prove this, (only my wife knows the effects, my tolerance is so high even my co-workers do not know how plastered I am) and is it really something to be proud to prove anyway?

But I can drink beyond my own belief and yours, and it would seem to tomorrow too.

I sobered up and I got to thinkin' girl you[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxSSDynaTYY[/ame]

Read a book.

 

[AVG-JOE]

No my friend, I understand, I get it. I understand your doubt because I doubt it.


I can not believe how much I can drink.

I can never prove this, (only my wife knows the effects, my tolerance is so high even my co-workers do not know how plastered I am) and is it really something to be proud to prove anyway?

But I can drink beyond my own belief and yours, and it would seem to tomorrow too.

I sobered up and I got to thinkin' girl you[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxSSDynaTYY[/ame]

Read a book.

Excellent recommendation!

May I suggest: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Drink-Cultural-History-Iain-Gately/dp/1592403034]Amazon.com: Drink: A Cultural History of Alcohol (9781592403035): Iain Gately: Books: Reviews, Prices & more[/ame]

 

[Dis]

You know it has occurred to me there is something pretty pathetic about trying to prove you are a dumb enough drunk to drink so much you are drowning yourself in it.

I do think there is a genetic component involved, I had a pretty high tolerance from the git go, even as a teenager I could drink my friends down into the land of the Lost and still stay found.

I remember at 15 hitting my father's liquor cabinet, Scotch, going to school and giving a book report on a book I never read (just the dust jacket) and getting an A. I was like Churchill up there! And I have done that many times since in all sorts of public arenas usually to success.

I mean right now I am on beer number five and I am just starting to feel relaxed.

The times I have went to the doctor for help quitting they looked at me in disbelief at how much I was drinking. One told me flat out, "you are lucky to be here."

Then she gave me valium for the withdrawals.

Let me tell you valium and 5.9% Coopers Sparkling Ale really do get rid of withdrawals.

I remember Dennis Hopper talking about how much he used to drink and thinking “yup”, we have a mean gene in their some where that has to be put down or you will.

.. talk about drinking.. I had 1/2 a southern comfort and 7up .. and I've been out like a light for the past 2 hours...real macho.. huh....

Yummy. That's my standby when a bar doesn't know how to make a Long Island...

 

[Lumpy 1]

You know it has occurred to me there is something pretty pathetic about trying to prove you are a dumb enough drunk to drink so much you are drowning yourself in it.

I do think there is a genetic component involved, I had a pretty high tolerance from the git go, even as a teenager I could drink my friends down into the land of the Lost and still stay found.

I remember at 15 hitting my father's liquor cabinet, Scotch, going to school and giving a book report on a book I never read (just the dust jacket) and getting an A. I was like Churchill up there! And I have done that many times since in all sorts of public arenas usually to success.

I mean right now I am on beer number five and I am just starting to feel relaxed.

The times I have went to the doctor for help quitting they looked at me in disbelief at how much I was drinking. One told me flat out, "you are lucky to be here."

Then she gave me valium for the withdrawals.

Let me tell you valium and 5.9% Coopers Sparkling Ale really do get rid of withdrawals.

I remember Dennis Hopper talking about how much he used to drink and thinking “yup”, we have a mean gene in their some where that has to be put down or you will.

.. talk about drinking.. I had 1/2 a southern comfort and 7up .. and I've been out like a light for the past 2 hours...real macho.. huh....

Yummy. That's my standby when a bar doesn't know how to make a Long Island...

Sounds like you could use a designated driver... it seems that's all I'm good for.. well. that and the fun stuff..

 

[Dis]

.. talk about drinking.. I had 1/2 a southern comfort and 7up .. and I've been out like a light for the past 2 hours...real macho.. huh....

Yummy. That's my standby when a bar doesn't know how to make a Long Island...

Sounds like you could use a designated driver... it seems that's all I'm good for.. well. that and the fun stuff..

If I have even one drink, I don't drive..

 

[Lumpy 1]

Yummy. That's my standby when a bar doesn't know how to make a Long Island...

Sounds like you could use a designated driver... it seems that's all I'm good for.. well. that and the fun stuff..

If I have even one drink, I don't drive..

You're a Great American .. Aunt Bea

 

[JW Frogen]

Apparently from some guy named 'Sammy'. That's a sign of a quality friendship right there.

Sammy is our son, probably should have mentioned that.

At least I think he is my son?

 

[Samson]

I wake up this morning so worse for my wear I could become a leather couch in a Texas brothel.

My wife's birthday this Saturday.

I wake up after my zombie night and say "My birthday present to you will be a sober husband."

But my wife replies, "Oh fuck off, you promise this every year. I want a necklace, and let Sammy pick it out."

A pearl necklace?

Apparently from some guy named 'Sammy'. That's a sign of a quality friendship right there.

I feel as guilty as I do helpful

 

[Lumpy 1]

Apparently from some guy named 'Sammy'. That's a sign of a quality friendship right there.

Sammy is our son, probably should have mentioned that.

At least I think he is my son?

My sons name is Samuel...

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

"Loneliness is just a word"

That is so good I have to steal it.

Chicago loves you.

 

[Samson]

I wake up this morning so worse for my wear I could become a leather couch in a Texas brothel.

My wife's birthday this Saturday.

I wake up after my zombie night and say "My birthday present to you will be a sober husband."

But my wife replies, "Oh fuck off, you promise this every year. I want a necklace, and let Sammy pick it out."

A pearl necklace?

 

[JW Frogen]

That is beguiling picture, I like pearls in provacative places.

 

[Mr. H.]

"Loneliness is just a word"

That is so good I have to steal it.

Lonliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever.

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

"Loneliness is just a word"

That is so good I have to steal it.

Lonliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever.

loneliness, it feeds USMB

 

[Phoenix]

Ya know something JW... I think if you drank a fraction as much as you would like us to believe, you'd be DEAD by now. It doesn't take too many years of drinking as hard as you purport before you wind up with Cirrhosis of the liver, and then, you're dead.

My two cents. Sorry pard, I don't buy your act. It's about as convincing as xo saying he's a doctor...

Dunno, Pale Rider.

I've seen a few men that have defied belief with their ability to be constantly drunk or drinking with patches of dubious sobriety intermingled. It's not a pretty sight from the outside and I can't imagine it's much fun from the inside either.