My Ten Realistic New Years Resolutions

[JimBowie1958]

This year I am making ten New Years Resolutions that I think I can actually keep.

1) I will lose weight. Weight is a number. I will reduce my weight by changing my weight by using kilograms instead of pounds. I have just gone from 260 pounds to a mere 118 Kilograms.

2) I will not run or walk in any Marathons.

3) I will not antagonize my wife by ignoring her requests

4) I will wear headphones 24/7 instead (ACDC top volume). I am keeping #3 if I cannot hear her.

5) I will complete my 8 tasks left over from last year this year by using Takl

6) I will stop arguing with idiots on the Internet

7) I will no longer regard anyone who disagrees with me as an idiot, but at worst a completely misguided moron.

8) I will not invite my kids over to visit and then push old chores off on them when they get here.

9) I will be more courteous to disadvantaged people who are cross gendered, Ethiopian eunuchs with facial tattoos and no teeth.

10) I will never make more than ten resolutions for New Years Resolutions.

 

[the other mike]

Happy New Year !
This Sunday will be my 1 year anniversary here....I'm
extremely excited.

 

[miketx]

Happy New Year !
This Sunday will be my 1 year anniversary here....I'm
extremely excited.

SO, what's wrong with you, besides liking man juice?

 

[the other mike]

New Years Resolution #1
Ignore all douchebags, especially MikeTx.

 

[miketx]

New Years Resolution #1
Ignore all douchebags, especially MikeTx.

I went to school and won an award for master douchebag. But anyway, happy new year and be safe!

 

[the other mike]

Happy New Year

 

[Circe]

This year I am making ten New Years Resolutions that I think I can actually keep.

1) I will lose weight. Weight is a number. I will reduce my weight by changing my weight by using kilograms instead of pounds. I have just gone from 260 pounds to a mere 118 Kilograms.

2) I will not run or walk in any Marathons.

3) I will not antagonize my wife by ignoring her requests

4) I will wear headphones 24/7 instead (ACDC top volume). I am keeping #3 if I cannot hear her.

5) I will complete my 8 tasks left over from last year this year by using Takl

6) I will stop arguing with idiots on the Internet

7) I will no longer regard anyone who disagrees with me as an idiot, but at worst a completely misguided moron.

8) I will not invite my kids over to visit and then push old chores off on them when they get here.

9) I will be more courteous to disadvantaged people who are cross gendered, Ethiopian eunuchs with facial tattoos and no teeth.

10) I will never make more than ten resolutions for New Years Resolutions.

Wait --- No. 6 --- don't do that, we'll miss you!

 

[JimBowie1958]

Happy New Year !
This Sunday will be my 1 year anniversary here....I'm
extremely excited.

SO, what's wrong with you, besides liking man juice?

EEEEEEWWWWWWW ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

[JimBowie1958]

Wait --- No. 6 --- don't do that, we'll miss you!

Well, number 7 helps me with that....actually kind of completely negates number 6 completely.

 

[JimBowie1958]

Thanks to the Calendar, I now have 2020 vision.

 

[Circe]

Thanks to the Calendar, I now have 2020 vision.

Omigod, you did not say that. I have to feed that to my husband: he'll be jealous he didn't think of that pun first.

 

[skye]

Ten resolutions?? for me not even one.

Happy New Year 2020 OP......wishing you all the best

 

[JimBowie1958]

Ten resolutions?? for me not even one.
Happy New Year 2020 OP......wishing you all the best

You too Skye!

BTW, you dont need any dang resolutions anyway!

 

[okfine]

Happy New Year !
This Sunday will be my 1 year anniversary here....I'm
extremely excited.

SO, what's wrong with you, besides liking man juice?

Watch out A, Tex has the hots for you.

 

[the other mike]

Watch out A, Tex has the hots for you.

Is that why he PMed me those Brokeback Mountain clips ?

 

[TheProgressivePatriot]

This year I am making ten New Years Resolutions that I think I can actually keep.

1) I will lose weight. Weight is a number. I will reduce my weight by changing my weight by using kilograms instead of pounds. I have just gone from 260 pounds to a mere 118 Kilograms.

2) I will not run or walk in any Marathons.

3) I will not antagonize my wife by ignoring her requests

4) I will wear headphones 24/7 instead (ACDC top volume). I am keeping #3 if I cannot hear her.

5) I will complete my 8 tasks left over from last year this year by using Takl

6) I will stop arguing with idiots on the Internet

7) I will no longer regard anyone who disagrees with me as an idiot, but at worst a completely misguided moron.

8) I will not invite my kids over to visit and then push old chores off on them when they get here.

9) I will be more courteous to disadvantaged people who are cross gendered, Ethiopian eunuchs with facial tattoos and no teeth.

10) I will never make more than ten resolutions for New Years Resolutions.

You just need one resolution Work on your pathetic miserable life.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[HannahBagrich]

• Believing in oneself and shedding the self-doubts before taking a step to achieve the goal fixed.
• Forgiving your past and forgetting it for the better except the lessons it taught you. It will only make YOU feel better.
• Embracing your life as it comes. Yes. It is okay sometimes for life to go awry. Remember always, everything is temporary.
• Be frugal when it comes to money.
• Spend 30 mins with you in a day of 24 hours. Spend it without any distractions. Do anything you personally like in this 30 minutes. Realise the difference gradually by doing so.
• Do not phub. (I guess many of us have to take up this resolution).
• Take small steps towards big goals. Divide the tasks small and achieve it as one.