My partner is afraid to marry me because of my debt.’ I’m 35 and have $380K in student loans.

[braalian]

More proof we should be herding the majority of high school kids into vocational programs so they can learn a trade.

 

[ClaireH]

I also grew up poor, and we almost never ate fast food. There were many nights we had oatmeal or plain spaghetti for dinner, but not fast food. McDonald's was a very rare treat.

It was White Castle for us as kids, that was a big deal to me when we’d stop there on Sunday after driving home from visiting relatives. In those days, they grilled them in onions in front of you fresh. No nuked food. Consumers are now expected to enjoy nuked burgers- no tx! lol

 

[DGS49]

To the earth-person with $380k in student loans, I think there is a solution in a quasi-pre-nup, and one might also note that "marriage" is a flexible concept.

In essence, you could exchange mutual vows, privately, to remain faithful to one another until you are separated by death. You would also agree not to get married legally, and to avoid the types of behavior that might later be construed as constituting a "common law" marriage (check the laws of the state where you live).

You would agree to keep your finances at arms length, and not commingled. For example, the Solvent Spouse would purchase a house, with the Spendthrift Spouse paying rent for space in the house and the use of kitchen, bathrooms, and so forth. The combined finances would be enough to pay for the house, taxes, utilities, and upkeep. Just like for legally married people.

Children would be technically illegitimate, but accommodations could be made, depending on which "spouse" is the mother.

It could work, but legal marriage would be avoided. At some time in the foreseeable future, the Spendthrift spouse can expect some sort of Sovereign relief, either loan forgiveness or abatement.

 

[Polishprince]

Question: “I’m 35 years old, I have one kid and another on the way. My partner is afraid to marry me because of my debt, and I don’t have a steady income. I have two masters degrees, and I owe $380K in student loans. I’m on the income program already and am worried about what happens when payments resume in January. I can’t afford to have the loans forgiven, because I think it’s a taxable event. Is there anything I can do to protect my family and lessen the blow for me?”

LINK.... archive.md

LOL.... The French Foreign Legion comes to mind.

Maybe if the questioner could just pay off $2000 per month for the next 20 years, and plan to get married in 2041?

 

[Circe]

At some time in the foreseeable future, the Spendthrift spouse can expect some sort of Sovereign relief, either loan forgiveness or abatement.

I think this is true ---- the government is so likely to give some loan forgiveness that this is becoming a big issue now; people are starting to count on it.

The government isn't going to forgive any $380,000, however!! I bet there is a whale of a lot of commercial plastic caught up in those "school" loans to a perpetual student. I knew a perpetual student once; he had two children, too, and a wife who would come sobbing to the laboratory. He had books on Prodigies all over his office --- very young geniuses. As he was at that time 36, he had somewhat outgrown the hope of continuing as a prodigy. The University of Chicago was in the process of ending his association with the university after some 20 years of student-hood, and none too soon.

 

[Who_Me?]

Question: “I’m 35 years old, I have one kid and another on the way. My partner is afraid to marry me because of my debt, and I don’t have a steady income. I have two masters degrees, and I owe $380K in student loans. I’m on the income program already and am worried about what happens when payments resume in January. I can’t afford to have the loans forgiven, because I think it’s a taxable event. Is there anything I can do to protect my family and lessen the blow for me?”

LINK.... archive.md

LOL.... The French Foreign Legion comes to mind.

Ummm, first of all, given the liabilities that you bring to the altar, nobody is going to marry you.

Second, what in God's name did you major in? Evidently you did not perform a payback analysis, so therefore you are dumb and nobody is going to marry you.

Third, You are pregnant with your second child and have another one. Children bring with them more expense so therefore you added more debt on top of the debt you already amassed which you already said you cannot afford due to your lack of steady income. Based on your lifestyle you lead the league in stupidity and therefore nobody is going to marry you.

If I were you I would enter the convent and become a nun. Three squares and a roof.

 

[initforme]

Don't worry about it. Some are only concerned about the $.

 

[beautress]

Question: “I’m 35 years old, I have one kid and another on the way. My partner is afraid to marry me because of my debt, and I don’t have a steady income. I have two masters degrees, and I owe $380K in student loans. I’m on the income program already and am worried about what happens when payments resume in January. I can’t afford to have the loans forgiven, because I think it’s a taxable event. Is there anything I can do to protect my family and lessen the blow for me?”

LINK.... archive.md

LOL.... The French Foreign Legion comes to mind.

This seemed to have some reasonable advice on how to pay off a $380,000 student loan: How one guy paid off $380,000 in just 21 months

 

[playtime]

damn - for someone who has a couple master's, you'de think not having kids with that much debt woulda crossed their mind.

 

[monkrules]

The first thing they should teach college students seeking loans is that they WILL HAVE TO PAY THEM OFF. It could be the best lesson they ever learn.

My question would be: how could you be smart enough to get TWO masters degrees, and be too fucking stupid to understand that the your HUGE loans would have to be repaid?

My advice - get two or three jobs and live up to your obligation. Getting the loans was YOUR choice. Forget about everything else. You got yourself into this mess, so man up and find a way to pay what you owe.

I have no sympathy for people who gleefully borrow insane amounts of money, then whine endlessly when it comes time to pay it back.

Lotsa luck with your job search, and your new, lean lifestyle.