tycho1572
Gold Member
- Sep 2, 2016
- 13,050
- 3,089
- 290
After placing an order to be shipped to my work address, this is the email I got when it shipped.....
Tycho,
We tore open a new box of surgical gloves—put them on one finger at a time—then put on an extra pair for good measure. From there we gathered and embraced your order (an order we nurtured, cared for, and put through college). We couldn't decide whether to dress it in silk or velvet, so we met in the middle and ultimately chose cardboard.
Our 5-man starting lineup & our 4-time Sixth Man of the Year hired Flavor Flav of Public Enemy fame and over-sized clock lore to freeze time while we reviewed your order. Garrett didn't do much, but he remembered to slap a cool sticker on your package. Painstakingly personal. The 6 of us then timed our 40-yard dashes on the way to the conference room to discuss how painfully perfect your order was. Finally, finally, finally, a flawless arrangement of products—and it couldn't be sent to a better person. We took a vote (because ************ is a democracy) and the results were unanimous. Yeah, we get a lot of orders, but your order takes the blue ribbon. 'Grats, we threw a grand party, got the Cake Boss himself to send over a custom cake, & set off a few Roman candles in your honor.
When Barry, our close personal friend at USPS, arrived in his freedom-colored chariot, he was taken aback at the raw display of beauty that was your order. Unfortunately, we ate all the cake (Capital-S-Sorry, we skipped lunch and poured all of our hunger into your specific order). Finally, we all lifted your package as one & gave it a proper sendoff. As Barry met the horizon, a single...rolling...tear trickled down Garrett's flushed cheek.
Your order has now shipped.
Garrett is the guy I dealt with while placing the order
Wtf?? Looks like these people have a good sense of humor.
Tycho,
We tore open a new box of surgical gloves—put them on one finger at a time—then put on an extra pair for good measure. From there we gathered and embraced your order (an order we nurtured, cared for, and put through college). We couldn't decide whether to dress it in silk or velvet, so we met in the middle and ultimately chose cardboard.
Our 5-man starting lineup & our 4-time Sixth Man of the Year hired Flavor Flav of Public Enemy fame and over-sized clock lore to freeze time while we reviewed your order. Garrett didn't do much, but he remembered to slap a cool sticker on your package. Painstakingly personal. The 6 of us then timed our 40-yard dashes on the way to the conference room to discuss how painfully perfect your order was. Finally, finally, finally, a flawless arrangement of products—and it couldn't be sent to a better person. We took a vote (because ************ is a democracy) and the results were unanimous. Yeah, we get a lot of orders, but your order takes the blue ribbon. 'Grats, we threw a grand party, got the Cake Boss himself to send over a custom cake, & set off a few Roman candles in your honor.
When Barry, our close personal friend at USPS, arrived in his freedom-colored chariot, he was taken aback at the raw display of beauty that was your order. Unfortunately, we ate all the cake (Capital-S-Sorry, we skipped lunch and poured all of our hunger into your specific order). Finally, we all lifted your package as one & gave it a proper sendoff. As Barry met the horizon, a single...rolling...tear trickled down Garrett's flushed cheek.
Your order has now shipped.
Garrett is the guy I dealt with while placing the order
Wtf?? Looks like these people have a good sense of humor.
