my mother has stage 5 alzheimer's...learn with me...

[strollingbones]

well yesterday went okay....on a scale of 1 to 10....a 5.....she still aint happy with me..and wants to go home....but i did not cry, yesterday. a first since this whole thing started...maybe i have no tears left or simply the hopelessness of all this....still hasnt hit me...that is the one thing the more you learn about this disease ...the more hopeless you realize it all is.....they tell you....you cant look at the long range things...cause they are hopeless that you have to take it minute by minute...have you ever tried to have a conversation minute to minute....today i have to try to get some doctors appts.....i dont think we have a kidney specialist here.....i hope one comes in from down the mountain...

o and i think those piss ant lawyers...mailed me mal that only lawyers can understand.....i think they did this on purpose...fuck 'em i will google every damned word lol

 

[strollingbones]

i waz posting on granny's thread on family history when i realized something...she has hidden the family photo album and the family bible... not granny but my mom....that is what was missing off the coffee table...i knew something was odd when i was dusting but couldnt figure out what...she started accusing me of taking photos from the family album years ago...even after i found all the photos.. and showed her where they were....they had come loose and been planted in a folder in the back....now where the devil has she put that stuff?

 

[Madeline]

Stage 5:
Moderately severe cognitive decline
(Moderate or mid-stage Alzheimer's disease)

Major gaps in memory and deficits in cognitive function emerge. Some assistance with day-to-day activities becomes essential. At this stage, individuals may:

•Be unable during a medical interview to recall such important details as their current address, their telephone number or the name of the college or high school from which they graduated

•Become confused about where they are or about the date, day of the week or season

•Have trouble with less challenging mental arithmetic; for example, counting backward from 40 by 4s or from 20 by 2s

•Need help choosing proper clothing for the season or the occasion

•Usually retain substantial knowledge about themselves and know their own name and the names of their spouse or children

•Usually require no assistance with eating or using the toilet


Stages of Alzheimer's

i placed my mother in an assisted living facilitiy....monday...this monday...it seems like an eternity...i cant remember the last day i didnt cry...but i digress...

my mother could no longer live alone...yet she insisted on driving...she totalled her car on april 22....i went down and stayed, i left 24 hours..she purchased a new car. i went down and moved her here. she was going to kill someone..she is half blind and has a lead foot...we think she may have had a stroke and then wrecked...we have doctors appointments beginning next week...she called me tuesday to tell me how much she enjoyed being kidnapped from her home and place in a the assisted living...that woman has a mean ass mouth...she can get over it...and she will...most days she is unaware of who i am..she think i am her sister.....which cause a bit of a confusion when her sister showed up...but she is falling under the "veil of alzheimer's" as they call it...i went to my first support group...and i plan on going to seminars on this disease...it is truly a disease from hell....you watch a loved one slip away....you realize that when she calls you someone else's name that it is best just to go along with it...she no longer knows me..it was like a switch...day to night...she knows my son, sometimes...and she blames me totally for putting her in the assisted living...which one lady at the support group told me that may never change...

i fully recommend looking into long term care insurance for your parents or yourself. it is expensive but it has helped me put her into a posh warehouse...

the questions, the paperwork...you need the following....last will....living will...health care form....and durable power of attorney...i am not giving legal advice here..just saying...you need a lot of info..try to gather that before the crisis hits...you need soc sec #, medicare, insurance etc. maybe you should photo copy all this to a file...that would have been nice...you need all the phone numbers etc...sure i have a file now..but its never where i am.

i have her in a top notch place...however she needs the "special" ward which is full....she is the only female on the waiting list...so she is in a stage 3 unit....and she is trying to take off..."wandering" is what it is called. we will discuss that later. so i have a private nurse there 12 hours a day...8 am to 8 pm..hopefully that wont be for much longer.

so here is my advice to all of yall with aging parents....read the site...watch them...and make plans for it...that is all you can do.

remember: yes, i knew this was coming....but it came on like an explosion ...there was no...you have time to think this over...i had to make a move and do it fast...that is where my ability as the 'nuts and bolts' person came into play...this is also where i realized how much more should have been done sooner...when she was of sound mind...but that is 20/20 hindsight.....learn from my mistakes....

next chapter: bonez gets her face cussed off by mother...(i hate doing that third person mal)

My folks are gone, and have been for many years. I used to feel sad because of that until the parents of my friends began deteriorating. One had a father die as he drove headfirst into a tree. Another lost a grandchild, but not her daughter, as an 80+ year old man plowed into them whilst they crossed the street -- during the day, in a crosswalk.

Of all the horrors that may lie ahead, Alzheimer's Disease is the worst. The body lives but the mind is gone, and the patient torments his own family. If you are trying to cope with a patient like this and have inadequate insurance, you might get assistance from your state or local Department of Aging.

strollingbones, Cleveland Clinic has done some ground breaking work on these diseases. If ever I can assist in any way, please drop me a note. That goes for all of you here, even if we have argued. Cleveland Clinic just opened a new Brain Center in Las Vegas.

You do not have to bring your family member to Cleveland or Las Vegas to benefit. You also do not have to contact me or anyone else local to benefit from their work. But if you do, I am sure any Clevelander on USMB, myself included, would help make your visit as productive and comfortable as possible.

Cleveland Clinic marks completion of Las Vegas brain center | cleveland.com

 

[PatekPhilippe]

bones...do the Dr.s have your mom on any acetylcholinesterase inhibitors (i.e. donepezil) or NMDA receptor antagonists? These drugs could forestall any further degredation of her condition...but not prevent it.

???

 

[strollingbones]

she is on arocept....ms.....she was on the patch for a while...none of it has worked...thanks maddie...i wont be dragging her off to do things....that was one thing we discussed at the support meeting....one lady admitted to having her mother tested for everything...it was still alzheimer's....

she is healthy as a horse....except for the kidney thing....i found a kidney guy...the referral should have gone through yesterday...so i can make the appointment today...

in the last month i have worked 2 days....

today i will go see her..then go see the home care people and sign timecards....its 5 in the morning.....

and i feel like the day is already packed....and its really not....i guess its just packed with dread

 

[Anguille]

Added to the problems anyone who has a family member suffering from Alzheimer's must deal with, is the fear that others in the family, including one's self, will succumb to the disease in the future.

 

[strollingbones]

ahh thanks there ang...i needed that...


*falls face down on keyboard*

 

[Anguille]

Sorry, bones!!!

 

[strollingbones]

no worries..you are right....when i forget something now...a whole new wave of emotions rolls over me...i just dont have this transport thing....where they take her to the doctor and all downpat...

ooooooooooo did i mention this...she is plotting her escape...hell i will give her this ...its a pretty damn good plan....

she takes a cab to an apple cart...rides the apple cart to w/s..then rides a greyhound home....

minor flaw....no one is letting her call or take a cab at the assisted living thing....but hell its a good workable plan....that is what amazes me...she had to watch the local info channel to find out about the applecart and she apparently can hold this in her memory...

of course she still tosses the aids out in the morning...she opens the door...tells them..."get the fuck out of my room" the aid will leave for about 10 minutes or changer her hair and go back...my mom will then tell the aid...."boy am i glad to see you...that bitch just left"....

her brothers think cause she can write letters begging to go home, she must not be that bad...well listen up you dumb mother fuckers...she is better now....she is not self medicating...she is eating okay and all....she is gonna get the medical treatment she needs....so i dont need you pricks 2nd guessing me...on this....cause if she leaves she will die quickly....and sure you can talk to the doctors...but where were you the weekend i ask you to come up and see her.....blah blah blah fucking hate this sibling mal blah blah blah

 

[PatekPhilippe]

Can you ask her doctor about these other drugs and if she has difficulty affording them, if there are any programs that will provide the medications for free or reduced cost?

 

[strollingbones]

did i mention my mother curses like a sailor?

 

[strollingbones]

yes i will ask...but i will not get my hopes up either....she is in this transit stage i guess...where she has some clarity but then goes totally off at times...

 

[PatekPhilippe]

yes i will ask...but i will not get my hopes up either....she is in this transit stage i guess...where she has some clarity but then goes totally off at times...

The drugs I mentioned do help slow down the onset of successive stages....I don't know if that's good or bad but it's a decision that should be made at some point with the consultation of her Doctor. I've grown to consider you a friend here and my heart goes out to you bones....it's not just anyone who can care for a family member who's afflicted with a life draining, debilitating illness. You have a lot of heart and maturity...I'm humbled in your presence.

 

[strollingbones]

o hell dont be...i wished i was handling this mal a lot better....you just do what you have to do..and i am lucky in many ways...having the resources not to be forced to place her in just any nursing home etc.

of course, she is in the process of writing letters to the bank and brokers to remove me from all joint accounts and holdings....she thinks if she can cut off funding...she can go home...i tellz ya they can plot that going home mal all day long...

i ask the lawyer i like...why all these others were yakking at me....his reply chilled me to the bone....he rightout told me...cause you will shortly control the money....i have put that all on auto pilot....i even told the broker that...and guess what...he calls me ....we need to just tweak this....i really preferred being a broke stoner....suddenly all kinds of adult responsible mal are expected from me....omg i just corrected a verb tense to make it right.....its beginning....omg.....will i be wearing barbara bush pearls next? will i?????

 

[strollingbones]

o and then there is the kidlet...i cant let him get the idea that he doesnt have to work anymore etc...cause no one is stopping working....that is the main reason i will go back with census to set an example....


<=== was much happier being a fucking bad example

 

[Mr. H.]

You mentioned the "lawyer you like". I hope that also means "trust". That's good. But take time to read the fine print on documents- read them over 20 times if you have to. I learned this the hard way over the years. Was executor for my mother's estate, had P.O.A. for a brother (later exec of his estate), am currenty guardian for yet another brother (mental issues), and on and on...
It can be intimidating but hang in there and good luck.

 

[saveliberty]

Many times we don't realize our capabilities until tested. I think that is where ignorance is bliss came from.

 

[strollingbones]

all hell has broken loose here....her sister and 2 brothers think i have been hasty and my mom would be better off living with the sister....hello my mother set the house on fire two times.....they are coming tomorrow...i am just devastated....and an emotional wreck..my aunt is going on about how she has experience with this..her father in law and father blah blah blah....right....okay you get to watch me descend into the hell that was called my childhood.

do they not see that she is better because she is under a nurses care and all....correct diet...i just dont think i can deal with this...i have cried all evening....

 

[strollingbones]

i have to simply buck up...and i needed the suits....of course i had ones home phone number ...he gave it to me...with call...anytime you need me....i had my fucking attitude and trashed the number...i needed him...i emailed him at his office. her family is gonna force me to get ugly with this...she is writing them how much she hates me....how terrible it all is...of course she is more lucid ..she isnt taking 20 advil a day.....you would think they would get this....o and get this...one brother has not seen her for what...20 years or more...i have the email where her sister wants the new car....the one i got the dealer to take back...i took a lose on that...but it a done deal and i have the check....the broker said make anything i can into money....if its not a true asset to ditch it..well she cant drive and i didnt need a impala....but i have the check in the strong box...she is offering money to come get her...i had to move a lot of money....stop payment on the checks i think she has...

 

[saveliberty]

I'd entrap them tomorrow. Start with, isn't Mom doing well? When they agree, sick the staff on them and tell these family vultures the reason she is doing better is because she is getting proper care. Jeopardizing that is the last thing your interested in and they better have money to spend in court if they want it otherwise. It won't take long for the, this could cost us money instead of make us money to sink in. If they come in the morning, they'll be gone by lunch.