Mike Johnsons family stunned to learn he is a Congressman

[Votto]

Mike Johnson’s Family And Friends Stunned To Learn He’s A Congressman

BENTON, LA — On the heels of Louisiana Representative Mike Johnson's election as Speaker of the House, family and close friends of the new speaker were shocked and amazed to learn that Mike Johnson is a congressman.

babylonbee.com

BENTON, LA — On the heels of Louisiana Representative Mike Johnson's election as Speaker of the House, family and close friends of the new speaker were shocked and amazed to learn that Mike Johnson is a congressman.

"Speaker of the House?! I just assumed he worked at Best Buy or something," said Johnson's close friend Bill Watts. "When I turned on the television today and saw him holding up the gavel on the House floor, I was totally stunned. A congressman? Are you sure?"

After a tumultuous several weeks, the Republican majority in the House of Representatives finally came together to unanimously elect Johnson. "We were running out of guys to nominate," said Kentucky Representative Thomas Massie. "Eventually, as a joke, somebody grabbed who we thought was just one of the IT guys in the hallway. Turns out his name is Mike Johnson and he's been serving in Congress since 2016. Blew all of our minds, really."

Johnson's wife, Kelly, was also shocked to learn her husband was a congressman. "I guess it explains a lot," she said when reached for comment. "I was wondering why he was constantly taking trips to Washington, D.C., and buying a bunch of suits and ties. I've always thought he seemed pretty sharp, but a congressman? Wow! Color me surprised!"

At publishing time, new reports were coming in that Congressional Republicans had called an emergency closed-door meeting to discuss the fact that they had inadvertently elected an actual conservative as Speaker of the House.

 

[Crepitus]

Mike Johnson’s Family And Friends Stunned To Learn He’s A Congressman

BENTON, LA — On the heels of Louisiana Representative Mike Johnson's election as Speaker of the House, family and close friends of the new speaker were shocked and amazed to learn that Mike Johnson is a congressman.

babylonbee.com

BENTON, LA — On the heels of Louisiana Representative Mike Johnson's election as Speaker of the House, family and close friends of the new speaker were shocked and amazed to learn that Mike Johnson is a congressman.

"Speaker of the House?! I just assumed he worked at Best Buy or something," said Johnson's close friend Bill Watts. "When I turned on the television today and saw him holding up the gavel on the House floor, I was totally stunned. A congressman? Are you sure?"

After a tumultuous several weeks, the Republican majority in the House of Representatives finally came together to unanimously elect Johnson. "We were running out of guys to nominate," said Kentucky Representative Thomas Massie. "Eventually, as a joke, somebody grabbed who we thought was just one of the IT guys in the hallway. Turns out his name is Mike Johnson and he's been serving in Congress since 2016. Blew all of our minds, really."

Johnson's wife, Kelly, was also shocked to learn her husband was a congressman. "I guess it explains a lot," she said when reached for comment. "I was wondering why he was constantly taking trips to Washington, D.C., and buying a bunch of suits and ties. I've always thought he seemed pretty sharp, but a congressman? Wow! Color me surprised!"

At publishing time, new reports were coming in that Congressional Republicans had called an emergency closed-door meeting to discuss the fact that they had inadvertently elected an actual conservative as Speaker of the House.

I know this is supposed to be funny, but I would imagine it's pretty close to true. They had to find a faceless non-entity type who hadn't made any real impression on any of his contemporaries to get enough votes.

 

[1srelluc]

I know this is supposed to be funny, but I would imagine it's pretty close to true. They had to find a faceless non-entity type who hadn't made any real impression on any of his contemporaries to get enough votes.

Yeah, they really pulled a rabbit out of their hat with him.

Actually I read when his name was dropped that he had a real good chance as he had not been around all that long to piss everyone off.

Then again nobody ever expects the Spanish inquisition a LA congressman.

 

[toobfreak]

BENTON, LA — On the heels of Louisiana Representative Mike Johnson's election as Speaker of the House, family and close friends of the new speaker were shocked and amazed to learn that Mike Johnson is a congressman.

"Speaker of the House?! I just assumed he worked at Best Buy or something," said Johnson's close friend Bill Watts. "When I turned on the television today and saw him holding up the gavel on the House floor, I was totally stunned. A congressman? Are you sure?"

After a tumultuous several weeks, the Republican majority in the House of Representatives finally came together to unanimously elect Johnson. "We were running out of guys to nominate," said Kentucky Representative Thomas Massie. "Eventually, as a joke, somebody grabbed who we thought was just one of the IT guys in the hallway. Turns out his name is Mike Johnson and he's been serving in Congress since 2016. Blew all of our minds, really."

Johnson's wife, Kelly, was also shocked to learn her husband was a congressman. "I guess it explains a lot," she said when reached for comment. "I was wondering why he was constantly taking trips to Washington, D.C., and buying a bunch of suits and ties. I've always thought he seemed pretty sharp, but a congressman? Wow! Color me surprised!"

At publishing time, new reports were coming in that Congressional Republicans had called an emergency closed-door meeting to discuss the fact that they had inadvertently elected an actual conservative as Speaker of the House.

Nancy Pelosi probably had a neon sign on her house charging $15 to ride by to see it and $35 for a tour of her freezer and ice cream section.

 

[MisterBeale]

Perhaps. . . he should run for the nomination and president?

 

[MisterBeale]

I know this is supposed to be funny, but I would imagine it's pretty close to true. They had to find a faceless non-entity type who hadn't made any real impression on any of his contemporaries to get enough votes.

 

[Crepitus]

Of what?

 

[JimH52]

Perhaps. . . he should run for the nomination and president?

Nope...the MAGA repubs will never support him. He has an adopted black son and called Floyd's death a murder.