Medical breakthrough from Pfizer!!

[Votto]

Pfizer Pleased To Announce Their New Vaccine 90% Effective Against New Virus They Created
HEALTH·Jan 26, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
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NEW YORK, NY — Pfizer Inc. dropped their new COVID variant and accompanying vaccine Thursday at midnight, much to the delight of CDC officials. The new vaccine is reportedly shown to be 90% effective against the COVID variant Pfizer created in their lab.
"First there was the dream, now there is reality," said Pfizer CEO Albert "Dirty Berty" Bourla from his planet-orbiting space fortress. "They said it couldn't be done — that it was unethical — but we showed them!"
He elaborated, "A new variant is scary. That's why we wanted to make sure the vaccine was ready to go right away. We had a lot of experience from causing myocarditis and then treating it, which was a big help."
Pfizer scientists have been working double time to get both products ready for simultaneous release using a process they call "directed evolution."
"First, we create a new virus variant," explained Dr. Dumas, Pfizer's head of bioweaponry. "Then, we get tons of people sick on purpose."
"Ta-da! Directed evolution!"
Experts suggest Pfizer's radical approach to virus treatment may be tantamount to an abusive relationship, but that's okay because we probably deserve it.
"I'd suggest we investigate this immediately," said Congresswoman AOC. "But I don't want to burn any bridges. I might have to get a job there someday."
According to sources, doctors across the nation are looking to boost their business with similar attempts at Directed Evolution. "First I break their kneecaps, and then I bandage them up. Medicine!" said one Detroit doctor.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Pfizer Pleased To Announce Their New Vaccine 90% Effective Against New Virus They Created
HEALTH·Jan 26, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

NEW YORK, NY — Pfizer Inc. dropped their new COVID variant and accompanying vaccine Thursday at midnight, much to the delight of CDC officials. The new vaccine is reportedly shown to be 90% effective against the COVID variant Pfizer created in their lab.
"First there was the dream, now there is reality," said Pfizer CEO Albert "Dirty Berty" Bourla from his planet-orbiting space fortress. "They said it couldn't be done — that it was unethical — but we showed them!"
He elaborated, "A new variant is scary. That's why we wanted to make sure the vaccine was ready to go right away. We had a lot of experience from causing myocarditis and then treating it, which was a big help."
Pfizer scientists have been working double time to get both products ready for simultaneous release using a process they call "directed evolution."
"First, we create a new virus variant," explained Dr. Dumas, Pfizer's head of bioweaponry. "Then, we get tons of people sick on purpose."
"Ta-da! Directed evolution!"
Experts suggest Pfizer's radical approach to virus treatment may be tantamount to an abusive relationship, but that's okay because we probably deserve it.
"I'd suggest we investigate this immediately," said Congresswoman AOC. "But I don't want to burn any bridges. I might have to get a job there someday."
According to sources, doctors across the nation are looking to boost their business with similar attempts at Directed Evolution. "First I break their kneecaps, and then I bandage them up. Medicine!" said one Detroit doctor.

So now the drug companies created the virus?? I thought you knuckeheads insisted it was made up in and released from lab in Wuhan, China?
You really do need to get your stories straightened out. Which is it?

 

[The Irish Ram]

So now the drug companies created the virus?? I thought you knuckeheads insisted it was made up in and released from lab in Wuhan, China?
You really do need to get your stories straightened out. Which is it?

It:
The virus was created in North Carolina. Sent to Wuhan for gain of function, then to Montana where Fauci tried to infect bats sent from Baltimore to Montana. That failed. Obama sent the virus back to Wuhan with millions and millions of tax payer dollars. It was released 17 days before Trump took office.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

It:
The virus was created in North Carolina. Sent to Wuhan for gain of function, then to Montana where Fauci tried to infect bats sent from Baltimore to Montana. That failed. Obama sent the virus back to Wuhan with millions and millions of tax payer dollars. It was released 17 days before Trump took office.

Sure. We created it. Then exported it. Then re-imported it. Just like timber (it goes to Canada and then comes back into the US).
And then it stayed around it stealth mode for 3 years?
Actually, Obama ended that silly gain of function crap.

Make...up...your...minds.....

 

[The Irish Ram]

Sure. We created it. Then exported it. Then re-imported it. Just like timber (it goes to Canada and then comes back into the US).
And then it stayed around it stealth mode for 3 years?
Actually, Obama ended that silly gain of function crap.

Make...up...your...minds.....

That is exactly what we did.
Gain of function was banned for a time, but became allowed for certain viruses, Covid being one. There are bioweapon labs all over the world, whether they are allowed or not.
It wasn't stealth at all. Do your homework, starting with the University of North Carolina, the Wuhan scientists that were there, and Fauci's involvement there. Then, follow the money trail.
Then check out the (stealth) virus we are cooking up in Boston. It has a 100% kill rate. Also research the bioweapon labs we have in the Ukraine.

Start here:
Coronavirus
Near Misses at UNC Chapel Hill’s High-Security Lab Illustrate Risk of Accidents With Coronaviruses

Near Misses at UNC Chapel Hill’s High-Security Lab Illustrate Risk of Accidents With Coronaviruses

Reports indicate UNC researchers were potentially exposed to lab-created coronaviruses in several incidents since 2015. These incidents highlight the risks even in the most secure and respected research facilities.

www.propublica.org

The mouse infected with a lab-created type of SARS coronavirus was squirming upside down, dangling by its tail as a scientist carried it to a weighing container one day in February 2016. But the mundane task turned dangerous in seconds inside the North Carolina laboratory, which has drawn scrutiny for its partnership on similar research with China’s Wuhan Institute of Virology.

 

[Roudy]

Let’s hope they’re making enough money with these weight loss drugs like Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro that it doesn’t necessitate them creating yet another worldwide emergency.