MATRIX: Revolutions

[Zhukov]

For those of you who didn't see this movie in the theatres and were waiting for the DVD release to rent it, I would suggest you wait until it's released on BETA. For those who already spent money on it, my sympathies.

Now for the review:

The entire first half of this move is nothing but inexplicable nonsense bearing no relevance to the two movies that preceeded it, or the rest of the movie that followed.

A barrage of Matrix-esque gooble-de-gook is thrown at you with the expectation that what you are trying to understand is important and vital to the plot. It is neither. What it is, is filler.

Tired action scenes are rehased, and one could almost believe they were watching the first film again.

The Matrix-people go to see the Merlvingian, AGAIN, and then go to see the Oracle, AGAIN. Nothing is really accomplished in all this time and no important plot lines are developed. The alteration of the apperance of the Oracle is mentioned but never understandably explained.

The only highlight to the first half of the movie is the few, too brief, glimpses of the beautiful Monica Bellucci (Mary Magdalene, The Passion of The Christ) and her striking....figure.


<<<WARNING: Spoiler Alert (though it is my intention and hope you do not watch this movie>>>


Gratefully, but unfortunately a little too late, the action begins to pick up in the second half of the film.

Again, inexplicably, the humans who have but one enemy have woefully inadequate defensive measures and procedures.

Though they posses the technology to build electromagnetic pulse (EMP) machines, an item which completely imbolizes all robots in the vicinity, they fail to have any of these devices arranged around their home-city Zion.

Instead of constructing numerous fortified gun emplacements with limitless ammunition stores, the humans have constructed numerous walking machine-gun suits, that can move, but don't, and don't need to, and that need to be manually reloaded by people running around with wheelbarrows.

Nearly all the hovercraft that are equipped with EMP's are nowehere to found, and when one does make it back to Zion and tiggers its EMP, disabling thousands of attacking robots, some fool (I forget his name or position) who has consistently been wrong, is unhappy again. He fails to adequately explain why.

<<<Here comes the spolier, last Warning>>>


Elsewhere, Neo (with Trinity), who has had his eyes melted away, is going to the robot city and telekinetically nuking massive amounts of robots with his mind. That part is pretty cool.

Thankfully, Trinity dies. Not thankfully, instead of her body being irretrievably crushed by massive amounts of steel so that Neo can only shed a tear and move on, Trinity is unfortunately still able to talk. What follows is not engaging, not interesting, and not emotional. It's a silly pointless conversation which like everything else that sucks about this movie lasts too long.

Neo gets to the middle of the robot city and strikes a deal with the robot-God. Neo will destroy the Agent Smith program, which I guess the robot-God cannot do itself, and in return the war between the robots and the humans will be over.

The ensuing fight between Neo and Agent Smith has its visually exciting sequences as the two titans battle in flight a la DBZ, but the fight is too short, does not contain enough new and innovative moves or special F/X's and is ultimately anti-climactic and silly.

The sappy epilogue is gay.
____________________________________________


It was all I could do to talk my friend out of throwing the newly bought DVD off his 6th floor balcony.



I did not like this movie.

 

[MtnBiker]

Nice review. And I must agree. I certainly would like the 2 hours of my life back wasted on that movie. I've had a better time cleaning up my dog's land mines in the back yard.

 

[Dan]

This movie would've sucked if it weren't so damn funny! My 2 favorite things (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!):

1. Right before Trinity dies:

Neo: You can't die.
Trinity: Yes, I can.

And she dies. More than half the theater laughed out loud at that!

2. Neo's death. Just in case you are a complete retard and didn't get the Jesus parallels, we'll just go ahead and all but have him say "my matrix, why have you forsaken me?" It was bad enough that he died with his arms outstretched with a huge glowing light behind him, then we have Morpheus' great final line.

Morpheus: (looking skyward) Thank you, Neo. Wherever you are.

It was just all such overkill and, yes, the epilogue was stupid. The Matrix is a perfect example of a series that should have stayed a single movie (I don't buy the whole 'it was always meant as a trilogy' crap, 2 and 3 have none of the clarity of the first one). I will say that I liked part 3 better than part 2, but that's not saying much since I hated, hated, HATED part 2.

 

[Zhukov]

One, Neo being carted away on the whole floating raft thing was a complete rip-off of the Arthurian legend, and yes he was predictably in a cruciform position.

Two, if all the crap from the 2nd and 3rd movies was removed, and the remainder was merged together, plus a new ending, it may have made a good sequel. It never should have been dragged out into two movies.

 

[Palestinian Jew]

You guys are thinking what I'm thinking. I wish they had quit after the first movie and left the rest to our imaginations. I knew the sequels would suck when in the 2nd movie they have a cave orgy in the beginning, nothing like the Matrix.

The 3rd movie I thought was insanely boring, they didn't make me give a fu** whether the city was destroyed or not and the final fight with Agent Smith was pure dbz. The writing was godawful and some of the corniest work I have ever seen.

 

[deciophobic]

i agree, they should have left it as just the original matrix, but i don't thinkl the 2 sequals were that bad. i still like them.

 

[Scourge]

yeah #3 was crap. But I still think #2 was great. The freeway scene, and the whole architect idea was deep. Should've just wound that story down and had the ghost twins whatever they were fight and END IT. Who cares about Zion and regular humans? thats what every other movie is for. I wanted some dope Matrix shit.

Not that over done flying-at-each-other-superpunch-this one's gonna end it-oops, you're still alive shit.

arrgh.

 

[5stringJeff]

I will preface this by saying that I am a huge matrix fan.

I was not impressed with the 3rd one either. As Zhukov said, the fight scenes with Neo were predictable, and the dialouge basically sucked.
That said, I did enjoy the fight for Zion. The Mechwarrior robots were pretty cool. But Neo's fire-sight and Trinity's speech after being stabbed with several rods in the abdomen were just ridiculous. And God should sue for copyright infringement over the scene with Neo getting plugged in by the machine god. "It is done!", Neo stretched out in cruciform shape, and the Oracle's last statement about probably seeing Neo again dripped with Jesus references. Although, going a little deeper than that, when Agent Smith infected/invaded Neo, Neo became part program/machine, which also has Christian theological importance - Jesus became man so that he could die to save man; in the same way, Neo became partly program so he could die to save the Matrix/programs/machines. Pretty deep - but given the Wachowski (sp?) brothers penchant for mixing and matching philosophies for their movies, I'm not too surprised.

 

[Dan]

And God should sue for copyright infringement over the scene with Neo getting plugged in by the machine god. "It is done!", Neo stretched out in cruciform shape, and the Oracle's last statement about probably seeing Neo again dripped with Jesus references.

... and then Mel Gibson stole that for his ending. Typical Hollywood