Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky

[The Sage of Main Street]

Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky​

Politics·May 20, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1259094

LOUISVILLE, KY — Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of his primary defeat.

After taking the stage to concede the race to Ed Gallrein, an angry Massie squarely laid the blame for his loss on the "dirty Zionists" of the tiny country towns that dot the Ohio River valley.

"I couldn't reach Gallrein to concede. He was probably lost with his supporters in yet another small-town Kentucky synagogue," declared Massie. "Yes, the deck was stacked against me by the Hebrew population of rural Kentucky. We ran a great campaign, I'm really proud of our team. We just couldn't overcome the Hasidic powers that control the farm towns of Appalachia."

Watching as the votes were tallied, Massie's campaign manager Randy Barnes stated that the Congressman had performed well in a few areas, but could not overcome the losses in heavily-Jewish areas of backwoods Kentucky. "Those nudniks really put the kabash on us," sighed Barnes. "Despite Israeli influence over the little villages of Kentucky, we showed a lot of chutzpah out there on the campaign trail. Mazel tov to Ed on his victory."

At publishing time, Massie had announced that he would now pursue his lifelong libertarian dream of opening a pot store.

The Rabbi of Butcher Hollow

Didn't Loretta Lynn sing about the Kosher-miner's daughter?

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

There are 4 Jews in Kentucky.

Antisemitism Logic

But those four trillionaires own everything and can force the Goyim peasants to vote for Israel every time.

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

The Jews are everywhere I tell ya!

They are hiding in the bushes, behind trees, and tunneling underground all around your community no matter where you live.

Old Money's Born-Again Scapegoat

Congratulations! You've been hired to teach at the Ivy League college of your choice.

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

This is ******* bullshit and she knows it. EMs

A Bug Spray Can Make the WASPs Do the Runnin Away and Hiding

Ms. Iverson is prescient. She realizes that whatever the preordained HeirHead Harvard Hierarchy is into will be law within a few decades. But she should fight that instead of being afraid of making waves and hoping it will all go away by appeasing Antisemites.

 

[Failzero]

Kentucky Snake Handler Mohel

 

[Carl in Michigan]

Ah, didn't realize this was the satire section lol.

Good satire requires an element of truth. Now I'm curious what has said

But in this case, all it took to make the race competitive was an announcement from President Donald Trump that he’d like Gallrein to defeat his least favorite Republican congressman.

But rather than blaming Trump, Massie is telling the world that the primary is “a referendum on whether Israel gets to buy seats in Congress.”

Antisemitism transformed Thomas Massie from libertarian extremist to liberal hero

The anti-Trump congressman from Kentucky is blaming his primary woes on Israel and Zionist billionaires. And the liberal press and Jew-haters everywhere are cheering for him.

www.jns.org

 

[Failzero]

Kentucky Snake Handler Mohel

Bump for effect

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Bump for effect

Fail.

 

[Failzero]

Fail.

Thomas Massie

 

[EdwinAMartin]

But how do we know if the Joooos control you as well?

Cuz Frank and a bunch of ex-cons at National Vanguard say so isn't enough for us?

Frank says we're all Mossad agents assigned to this board to quash his and the other 'Jew Wise' experts blinding rays of Truth N Stuff. Personally, I use the magic pocket watches all Rabbis have to enthrall and turn goyim into zombies.

 

[EdwinAMartin]

It's satire. They mock the conspiritard and spin doctor rubbish very well, and could easily blend right in with the insane stuff ideologues put out seamlessly. Like Dogmaphobe said.

The Onion can also be good, but I think it's in decline now.

I thought I was quoting Canadian here ... oh well. Better aim next time.

 

[Admiral Rockwell Tory]

Thomas Massie

Yes, he is a failure.

 

[Votto]

Yes, he is a failure.

In Kentucky, Harold grew suspicious once he noticed the local tavern closing down on the Sabbath and instead of burning crosses they started burning the Star of David instead.

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

View attachment 1259366

In Kentucky, Harold grew suspicious once he noticed the local tavern closing down on the Sabbath and instead of burning crosses they started burning the Star of David instead.

So Much for the Ignorant "Demokkkrat" Meme

The KKK has always been Antisemitic, anti-Catholic, and anti-labor unions. Republican businessmen paid it to send strike-breakers up North.

 

[Mac-7]

Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky​

Politics·May 20, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1259094

LOUISVILLE, KY — Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of his primary defeat.

After taking the stage to concede the race to Ed Gallrein, an angry Massie squarely laid the blame for his loss on the "dirty Zionists" of the tiny country towns that dot the Ohio River valley.

"I couldn't reach Gallrein to concede. He was probably lost with his supporters in yet another small-town Kentucky synagogue," declared Massie. "Yes, the deck was stacked against me by the Hebrew population of rural Kentucky. We ran a great campaign, I'm really proud of our team. We just couldn't overcome the Hasidic powers that control the farm towns of Appalachia."

Watching as the votes were tallied, Massie's campaign manager Randy Barnes stated that the Congressman had performed well in a few areas, but could not overcome the losses in heavily-Jewish areas of backwoods Kentucky. "Those nudniks really put the kabash on us," sighed Barnes. "Despite Israeli influence over the little villages of Kentucky, we showed a lot of chutzpah out there on the campaign trail. Mazel tov to Ed on his victory."

At publishing time, Massie had announced that he would now pursue his lifelong libertarian dream of opening a pot store.

 

[Failzero]

So Much for the Ignorant "Demokkkrat" Meme

The KKK has always been Antisemitic, anti-Catholic, and anti-labor unions. Republican businessmen paid it to send strike-breakers up North.

There were 8 Dixiecrats for every 10 voting age People in the South Up until the Korean War and there were No GOP US Senators or Congress Critters or Governors in the South until after WW2 and even then they were a tiny minority ( Hell almost every National level Politician outta Texas was Democrat until the early 90s so saying the GOP had any input in Politics in the South until at least the 1970s or even 80s is disingenuous

 

[Cellblock2429]

Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky​

Politics·May 20, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1259094

LOUISVILLE, KY — Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of his primary defeat.

After taking the stage to concede the race to Ed Gallrein, an angry Massie squarely laid the blame for his loss on the "dirty Zionists" of the tiny country towns that dot the Ohio River valley.

"I couldn't reach Gallrein to concede. He was probably lost with his supporters in yet another small-town Kentucky synagogue," declared Massie. "Yes, the deck was stacked against me by the Hebrew population of rural Kentucky. We ran a great campaign, I'm really proud of our team. We just couldn't overcome the Hasidic powers that control the farm towns of Appalachia."

Watching as the votes were tallied, Massie's campaign manager Randy Barnes stated that the Congressman had performed well in a few areas, but could not overcome the losses in heavily-Jewish areas of backwoods Kentucky. "Those nudniks really put the kabash on us," sighed Barnes. "Despite Israeli influence over the little villages of Kentucky, we showed a lot of chutzpah out there on the campaign trail. Mazel tov to Ed on his victory."

At publishing time, Massie had announced that he would now pursue his lifelong libertarian dream of opening a pot store.

/----/ Another FAFO