Let's insult EVERYONE

[Joz]

*What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

*What's the Cuban national anthem?

Row, row, row your boat.

*What's the difference between a southern zoo & a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

*Why do Driver's Ed classes, in Redneck schools, use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays?

Because on Tuesdays & Thursdays, the Sex Ed class uses it.

*Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

Because they aren't going to work in the future, either.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

*What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

*What's the Cuban national anthem?

Row, row, row your boat.

*What's the difference between a southern zoo & a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

*Why do Driver's Ed classes, in Redneck schools, use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, & Fridays?

Because on Tuesdays & Thursdays, the Sex Ed class uses it.

*Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

Because they aren't going to work in the future, either.

You left out
Liberals
Blacks
Jews
Asians
Middle Eastern
Plain ole white
Retards
Native Americans
Politicians
Hippies
Europeans
Women
Men
Army
Navy
Airforce
and... the Marines!!!

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

You left out
Liberals
Blacks
Jews
Asians
Middle Eastern
Plain ole white
Retards
Native Americans
Politicians
Hippies
Europeans
Women
Men
Army
Navy
Airforce
and... the Marines!!!

Not that I have anything against anyone.(I really don't)

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

That's why you have to add to it.

Q. What do you call three dozen tractors in front of a Dairy Queen in Oklahoma?

A. Prom Night.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

That's why you have to add to it.

Q. What do you call three dozen tractors in front of a Dairy Queen in Oklahoma?

A. Prom Night.

Having spent SEVRALL friday nights in the parking lot of the
Ft Gibson Oklahoma gas station,.....Can't argue with that one!!!

PS We didn't have a Dairy Queen, Mc Donalds, Taco Bell ect. you name it
We didn't have it!!!

 

[MtnBiker]

Sonic?

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Sonic?

Yes, but they put that in right before I left for the Army.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Sonic?

Might I also add that it shares a parking lot with
the gas station that we hung out at!!!
And wouldn't ya know all 3,000 people of the town
visited it on opening weekend. We almost had a parade!

 

[Joz]

You left out
Liberals Blacks Jews Asians Middle Eastern Plain ole white
Retards Native Americans Politicians Hippies Europeans Women
Men Army Navy Airforce and... the Marines!!!

Yeah, well last time I told a mexican joke, I got my hiney reamed & started a small feud among some of the members. Geez.

 

[nycflasher]

Yeah, well last time I told a mexican joke, I got my hiney reamed & started a small feud among some of the members. Geez.

What's wrong with a good hiney reaming?

 

[Merlin1047]

What's wrong with a good hiney reaming?

Damn yankee. I always knew you guys were anal.

By the way - do you know the definition of a yankee?


Well, a yankee is rather like a quickee, except a guy can do it himself.

:happy2:

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

PS We didn't have a Dairy Queen, Mc Donalds, Taco Bell ect. you name it
We didn't have it!!!

Ah. I feel you're pain. heheh.

Just about all we had where I grew up was the Dairy Queen. There was another little locally owned place called Bell's Drive In that was run by people older than dirt. They only stayed open about 5 hours a day, four days a week, so it was hard to make it a hang out spot.

Boy, the town has grown since then, though. We've got a Sonic and a Subway now. Plus, a Pizza Pro, The Burger Barn, a little Chinese Food/Donut Shop (yeah, I know), and the Dairy Queen is still going strong. Very cosmopolitan.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

What's the difference between an Indian (Native American to you libbies) purse and an Indian suitcase?

12 cans.

 

[fuzzykitten99]

Ah. I feel you're pain. heheh.

Just about all we had where I grew up was the Dairy Queen. There was another little locally owned place called Bell's Drive In that was run by people older than dirt. They only stayed open about 5 hours a day, four days a week, so it was hard to make it a hang out spot.

Boy, the town has grown since then, though. We've got a Sonic and a Subway now. Plus, a Pizza Pro, The Burger Barn, a little Chinese Food/Donut Shop (yeah, I know), and the Dairy Queen is still going strong. Very cosmopolitan.

do you mean "cothmapolitan"?

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

do you mean "cothmapolitan"?

No, I don't live in Minnesota. :happy2:

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

An Irishwoman goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pains. The doctor tells her to stay away from anything alcoholic, so she goes home and kicks her husband out of the house.

 

[Joz]

Here goes:

*Why did Disney World fail in Japan?

No one was tall enough to go on the good rides.


*The teacher says to the Polish school girl, "What's the capital of Wisconsin"?

She answers, "W".


*Why do Jewish guys watch porno movies backwards?

They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.


*How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

*What's the definition of 'safe sex' in West Virginia?

Branding the sheep that kick.

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

A Liberal walks into the doctors office with a duck on his head.

The doctor says, "My God! Where did you get that ugly thing?"

Duck says, "Massachusetts! They got thousands of them!"

 

[Joz]

*Did you hear about the two gays whose last wish was to be buried together?

The mortician cremated them and put them in a fruit jar.

 

[Jimmyeatworld]

Three Frenchmen go sailing on a foggy day and their boat capsizes. After struggling in the water for what seemed like hours, they make it to shore on an island.

Liam, Pierre, and Marcel walk along the sand, trying to figure out a way to get off the island. Before long, they come across a lamp and, as you may have guessed, after rubbing it a genie comes out.

The genie said, "For releasing me from my lamp, I will grant each of you one wish."

Liam quickly stepped forward and said, "I'll go first. I wish to be smart enough and talented enough to get off this island."

The genie said, "It is done." Liam turned into an olympic swimmer, stripped down to his undies, dove in the water and swam away.

After thinking for a bit, Pierre stepped forward and said, "I'll go next. I wish to be smarter and more talented than Liam so I can get off this island without having to leave my clothes behind."

The genie said, "No problem." Pierre turned into a master carpenter. In just a couple of hours, he carved an old log into a canoe and paddle, took it in the water, and paddled away.

Marcel watched as Pierre disappeared into the fog, then finally made his wish.

"I know what I want to wish for, "Marcel said. "I wish to be smarter and more talented than either one of them ever dreamed of being so I can get off this island without leaving my clothes behind or spending so much time building something."

"That's easy," the genie said. The Frenchman turned into an American and he walked across the bridge.