I so love the Sanford story. It's one of my favorites.
Sanford abandons the people of South Carolina as Governor to go hump a mistress in Argentina. When his staff is queried about his whereabouts they are like, "Ummmm...he's hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Yeah, that's it! A real hearty guy, the Governor is."
Then Sanford is spotted by a reporter deplaning at the airport from Argentina. So the reporter does what reporters do. "Whatcha doin' coming off a plane from Argentina, Guv?"
Sanford openly admits he was banging some chick who is not his wife. We know she's not his wife because he calls the chick his "soul mate". Anytime he gets near an open microphone, he swoons over the hottie.
Then comes the obligatory perp walk with the wife before a bank of cameras and microphones, right? Every time a politician gets caught dipping his wick in someone other than his wife, he and the missus do the perp walk and talk about how they are working through some issues and that they will stay together. The glazed-eyed wife is stroking the velvet curtains and thinking about being served hand and foot as the Governor's wife. No way she's giving these perks up over some tramp.
Uh uh. Not Mrs. Sanford. Governor's mansion or no governor's mansion, she is not going to stay with a man who is openly pining in public for his ho. She burns rubber getting the hell out of there, placing a curse on him.
So are you going to resign now, Mr. Bible-Thumper?
Oh, hell no. King David in the Old Testament had a ho, and what's good enough for King David is good enough for me.
He said that. He really did say that.
And that is the precise moment in American history when a fundamentalist Christian politician actually used the Holy Bible to justify his adultery and not resigning, boys and girls!
It just does not get any better than that.
Oh, wait. It does.
After his term is up, a woman decides to run for his job. A woman endorsed by his ex-wife! A woman endorsed by Sarah Palin!
She happens to be a Methodist whose parents came from India.
She's way at the back of the field, so another Republican legislator feels he will put the nails in her coffin by saying, "We've already got a raghead in the White House, we don't need another one".
That's an exact quote.
Nikki Haley goes on to win the election.
And now the Republicans of South Carolina searched high and low for the best person to send to the US Congress. No stone was left unturned. They needed to find the best person of the highest moral character for the job.
They looked and they looked, and they dug and they dug, and they finally found the best possible person to represent them in the US Congress. There is none better. Everyone else in South Carolina just cannot stand up to this guy. He's the epitome of everything the Republicans of South Carolina stand for. When you think of South Carolina and everything that is great about their Republicans, they want you to think of this guy.
Mark Sanford.
