Kentucky Derby: American Detection


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Sep 22, 2013
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The annual iconic American horse-race the Kentucky Derby has become a sociocultural trophy of culture and competition and offers aristocrats and horse aficionados and vets gathered for a special televised event in May. The Kentucky Derby 2021 will take place on Saturday May 1, 2021, and this is the 2nd Coronavirus Derby. The race Homepage suggests that various horses such as Medina Spirit and their owner-race companies (e.g.,) Zedan seek to flower more of this annual fare during the quarantine-era. This story's about the American diamond.


This year's Kentucky Derby race would be colored somehow mystically, because there was a foreign corrupt baron by the name of Zorin who intended to move some blood-diamonds from South Africa and Belgium through Kentucky and South Carolina. Zorin however would be challenged by a team of expert American operative-thieves known as the Nuns who wanted to lift the diamonds to remove baron influence in the North American gem market. The Nuns were led by an Algerian-American named Isaac Satan. This monkey-wrench in the Kentucky Derby equation would be a real firecracker for the otherwise canonical American horse-racing flower, friends!


DERBY COORDINATOR: We care about our horses and our tradition and feel that television has added dimension to this trophy.


Isaac, the Algerian-American leader of the Nuns, wanted to intercept the blood diamonds moving through the Derby aristocrat jewel-boxes during the 2021 race. This was a quarantine-era Derby, the 2nd since 2020, and there would be extra media securities and police protection for these diamond treasures moving through aristocracy viewing boxes for media photos, and Isaac and the Nuns would have to find an ingenious way to intercept the gems and evade media horror. However, this thief is a real nerd!


ZORIN: I don't care about these 'Nuns' and I'm tied to the Zedan race-company with our famed horse Medina Spirit and our gems.


The Nuns were known to steal blood-diamonds from corrupt barons around North America. They'd heisted South African rocks from British Columbia, D.C., Los Angeles, and Miami (Florida). However, no one knew who they were and detectives had catalogued multiple thief-tribes in their attempt to list and identify these modern American pirates. In fact, other thief teams were being confused with the prolific Nuns now!


ISAAC: I'm sure Zedan's Medina Spirit is the sure-horse to win this year, but we're going with Bourbonic, an underdog horse!


The armored truck pulled up in the basement lot at Churchill Downs stadium/arena for the 2021 Derby in Kentucky that warm and bright Saturday afternoon. Zorin's African blood diamonds were in there and he's working with the Dutch baron to move them through the Zedan race company, owned by a Saudi businessman long-tied to American sports like Polo. The Nuns wanted to intercept this very truck!


The Nuns pulled up alongside the armored truck as soon as it parked in a plumbing van and came out in their signature Nun costumes claiming they're working with the Zedan race-company through which Zorin's diamonds were being moved for presentation, and they wanted to take photos of the Zorin gems for a special magazine article about the pageantry of Derby-Day masquerade. However, during the allowed photo-shoot which included video-recorders, the Nuns switched Zorin's diamonds with the fake ones in their shoes and then gifted the truck guardsmen/drivers with a special media-memento Dianetics animation doll-figurine named Minmay!


The Nuns then invaded the Zorin/Zedan aristocracy viewer-box at Churchill Downs and declared themselves as special media broadcasters for the diamond presentation event. They flashed the diamonds in their shoes (the actual Zorin blood-diamonds they stole from the armored truck just two hours ago) and took photos of themselves comparing their 'claimed fake gems' with the Zorin-gems in the box that the armored truck guardsmen gave them earlier (after the Nuns performed the switch). The Nuns then left the Zorin/Zedan box representatives an iconic toy robot gun replica as an homage to the flowery of modern American capitalism!


ZORIN: We're proud of this gun-toy and believe these 'nuns' working for a capitalism fanzine in Europe were media dancers.


ISAAC: We're transferring these blood-gems for bearer-bonds in a new Swiss account to invest in the Derby this year.


The Nuns pulled off the miracle switch and on-time race bet with their newly-traded assets. They didn't bet on Zedan Medina Spirit but on the underdog horse Bourbonic. That's the horse that won the 2021 Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. The Nuns took the extra bet-winning money and made off to Fiji, where they opened a Coronavirus media center for travelers. The media-day for the 2021 Derby proved to be a rather extraordinary American dream!


The Zorin diamonds weren't inspected by the corrupt and ruthless barons for a long time, and by the eventual time they'd actually been, the Nuns were managing their successful media center in Fiji. Now, they'd recast Derby races and colors on media portals for future American gem dances. This was therefore a rather 'James Bond' themed Kentucky Derby, during this trying quarantine-domain!


DERBY FAN: This year's race was like purely excellent and rich, and we're thrilled Bourbonic the underdog managed to grab dye.


ZORIN: When I find those damned Nuns, I'll have them excommunicated, but I admit, the Derby-Day was rather...demonstrative!


"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)


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