So you claim. So says Marbury v. Madison. But the Constitution itself does not. IF I happen to agree that it is a reasonable IMPLIED power from the explicit grants given by the Constitution to the Judicial Branch, that doesn't necessarily mean that the power is exclusive to the judicial branch, however.
Defining speech is not difficult at all. So, if I start by disagreeing with your initial premise, the rest of your argument kind of tails off to die a weak whimpering death on the outskirts of town.
Speech was understood in the day. It did
not mean "the right to post glossies of beautiful naked women engaged in explicit sexual acts with other beautiful naked women." Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Yet, somewhere along the line, the COURTS seem to have decided that "speech" does mean exactly that.
No.
Speech was understood to mean
political speech. The First Amendment couldn't actually BE an "absolute" or we couldn't prevent idiots in the New York Times Company from publishing troop movements in times of war. And we couldn't sue each other for things like defamation and libel. But we can sue each other, so clearly free speech is not an absolute. IT WAS understood to be a big powerful ability against which governments could not defend themselves. Freedom of POLITICAL discussion. Can I say that President Obama is a freaking MORON? You bet I can. In the days before the Revolution here in the colonies, one could not say such stuff about the King, however, unless one wanted to get severely punished.