You are so very wrong and ignorant of a US Navy ship Captain's duty and obligation, as well as the crew's, to protect his ship. If that CO felt his ship was in eminent danger, he didn't need anyone's permission to take aggressive action to defend his ship from attack. Notification to higher authority in the chain of command AFTER THE FACT is required in situations that would not admit delay, you opinion notwithstanding!
The rules of engagement are set by the military, he can't ignore them.
Your criticism should be of the White House. In the past, a huge advantage of the Military is that we set rules and allow our commanders to act in the field. This white house as all authoritarian leftists through history are control freaks.
It's Obama and Kerry that set the policy. Take the criticism where it is due