- Sep 22, 2013
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The modern world is all about media and the speedy delivery of news is important (i.e., CNN.com).
Who better to represent this new 'culture' than the world's favorite fictional journalist Jimmy Olsen (DC Comics), an affable reporter who works at the Daily Planet in Metropolis, where Clark Kent (Superman) also works.
Jimmy Olsen is given various assignments to take photos (and notes) about important events and goings-on in society and on the street.
Since he's such a terrific 'diplomat' of new world interests in journalism and history translation (i.e., BBC.com), here's a nice comics-stylized 'fan-fic' in honor of Jimmy Olsen.
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Jimmy Olsen was covering the story of newly-elected U.S. president Donald Trump's high school reunion. Trump was set to make a fine entrance into his beloved high school in his hometown for the special occasion, and Jimmy's boss gave him the assignment to cover the story (and take plenty of revealing photos with his handy-dandy new and sophisticated Nikon camera). Jimmy had to take the bus to the reunion and then was set-up at the Marriott hotel where he took a nice rest before setting out to attend Trump's reunion. The Daily Bugle was the only newspaper invited to cover the otherwise private event.
The reunion was being held in the town Main Street hall, known as the Ballroom. Trump was the only celebrity and seemed excited to meet and greet the guests (there were 200 in all). Jimmy was there with his Nikon snapping away and getting great shots of the American President mingling with his old high school classmates, drinking punch and champagne, and enjoying the linguini and steak. Trump was attending with his wife, and his bodyguards were close by as well as security officials waiting outside the Ballroom by Trump's limousine.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash heard from the glass skylight of the Ballroom. Two individuals, dressed as ninja-like 'warriors' swooped down on ropes and introduced themselves to the stunned guests. Jimmy took great photos and also photos of Trump in complete awe:
SNAKE EYES: Do not be alarmed!
COBRA COMMANDER: We are paramilitary 'mercenaries.'
SNAKE EYES: We're here under a special combat assignment by the CIA and ISIS.
COBRA COMMANDER: I represent ISIS (the terrorist organization)!
SNAKE EYES: And I represent the CIA (your American intelligence security firm).
COBRA COMMANDER: Since Trump is at this 'high school reunion,' the battle is here.
SNAKE EYES: My name is Snake Eyes, and this is Cobra Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER: We've been challenged to fight in the Ballroom without hurting the guests.
SNAKE EYES: Do not worry therefore about stray bullets!
COBRA COMMANDER: The leaders of ISIS wanted to see if we could pull this off.
SNAKE EYES: The CIA conceded to the challenge to avoid further terrorism.
COBRA COMMANDER: We are both specialists, so simply stay clear and let us fight.
Jimmy couldn't believe his ears! This all seemed incredibly ridiculous. It seemed that ISIS had 'dared' the CIA to stage a public venue battle where the guests/civilians would remain protected, while the media would cover the 'ballroom battle.' Jimmy hypothesized that if the CIA conceded to such a challenge (sending Snake Eyes as its 'diplomat'), then ISIS would refrain from further terrorism initiatives against civilians. Jimmy wondered, however, if the CIA had 'gambled' away the lives of the guests at this Trump high school reunion and also wondered what the U.S. president had to say (and Trump finally spoke):
"Snake Eyes, Cobra Commander, on behalf of my administration, we 'welcome' you to this venue, and I trust the the CIA used good judgment in affording you this 'civilian arena' as the ground on which this battle must take place. We assure you that all of us guests will stay clear and out of your way and that Snake Eyes is the trusted American 'diplomat' who will handle all the necessary 'technicalities' and take on the complete challenges of the battle without hurting any of the guests. While I was not informed by the CIA that this was to take place, you have my support (and I noticed you two are carrying sabres instead of guns --- so there is no fear of 'stray bullets'!)"
All of the guests seemed to agree and condone what the American President said. Snake Eyes explained that he was once a P.O.W. charged with the egregious extermination of cruel prison guards en-route to his escape and then re-trained by the CIA as a 'super-assassin.' Cobra Commander explained that he was recruited by an ISIS leader to be a 'diplomat' of terrorism and that he was something like 'Leatherface' (the chainsaw-wielding ghoul from the American horror film series The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and that Snake Eyes was something like 'Michael Myers' (the eerie masked serial killer from the American horror film series Halloween).
When Jimmy Olsen asked the two why they could be considered as Leatherface and Michael Myers, Snake Eyes replied, "We are embodiments of everyday human anxieties regarding brute strength and the reality of death!" Jimmy realized that Snake Eyes' statement was meant to convey that the two were serious agents from their respective politically-minded organizations and simply hoped that Snake Eyes ('Michael Myers') was agile enough to tackle Cobra Commander ('Leatherface'). Snake Eyes was dressed in a tight black military body-suit, while Cobra Commander wore a bright-blue outfit with a cloth-tied face-mask. Snake Eyes looked like a real American assassin, while Cobra Commander really seemed like a willful terrorist.
The battle ensued, and Snake Eyes slit Cobra Commander down his right thigh with his sabre before Cobra Commander responded by gashing Snake Eyes across the chest with his own sabre. Snake Eyes than did a flip and kicked Cobra Commander in the chin; Cobra Commander retaliated by swiping Snake Eyes' legs from under him, causing the CIA assassin to fall to the ground. The whole time, the two skillful warriors wielded their sabres in motions that never threatened the people around them. Cobra Commander then held his sabre to Snake Eyes' face and suggested the CIA assassin surrender, but Snake Eyes whispered, "Never!" before grabbing Cobra Commander's leg and yanking it, causing the ISIS agent to fall down.
Snake Eyes then got up and held his own sabre to Cobra Commander's head and ordered that he be the one to rationally surrender, and the ISIS agent nodded his head slowly and said, "Alright." Snake Eyes then turned to the guests at the Ballroom (including the U.S. president) and said, "Thank you all for your patience and courage. Be relieved to know now that the CIA will handle all the details and you need only to return to your homes in the secure knowledge that ISIS has been satiated and that any further threats to civilian targets by ISIS will be handled by all the CIA's shrewd diplomats. You can drink champagne and consider this an 'adventure-theater show'!" President Trump gave a loud cheer, and Snake Eyes whisked Cobra Commander away back through the skylight from which they descended.
Jimmy Olsen delivered the 'action-packed' story to his boss at the Daily Bugle who was enraged. Jimmy was shocked and said, "I thought you would be thrilled! I got great photos!" to which his stubborn boss replied, "You fool! For all we know, President Trump had stage-actors plan the whole event so the media would say that he coordinated an entertainment program for his high school classmates. There's no evidence that President Trump was not informed of the event or that this so-called 'ISIS agent' would be appeased (along with the rest of the 'members' of his terrorist organization) simply because the battle took place in a 'civilian arena'!" Jimmy realized his boss was right and conceded to his boss's wishes simply to publish the 'interesting' photos with the 'normalized' headline, "Stunt or Stealth?" Jimmy wrote in his diary, "At least I know that President Trump is surrounded by cool characters!"
====
Who better to represent this new 'culture' than the world's favorite fictional journalist Jimmy Olsen (DC Comics), an affable reporter who works at the Daily Planet in Metropolis, where Clark Kent (Superman) also works.
Jimmy Olsen is given various assignments to take photos (and notes) about important events and goings-on in society and on the street.
Since he's such a terrific 'diplomat' of new world interests in journalism and history translation (i.e., BBC.com), here's a nice comics-stylized 'fan-fic' in honor of Jimmy Olsen.
====
Jimmy Olsen was covering the story of newly-elected U.S. president Donald Trump's high school reunion. Trump was set to make a fine entrance into his beloved high school in his hometown for the special occasion, and Jimmy's boss gave him the assignment to cover the story (and take plenty of revealing photos with his handy-dandy new and sophisticated Nikon camera). Jimmy had to take the bus to the reunion and then was set-up at the Marriott hotel where he took a nice rest before setting out to attend Trump's reunion. The Daily Bugle was the only newspaper invited to cover the otherwise private event.
The reunion was being held in the town Main Street hall, known as the Ballroom. Trump was the only celebrity and seemed excited to meet and greet the guests (there were 200 in all). Jimmy was there with his Nikon snapping away and getting great shots of the American President mingling with his old high school classmates, drinking punch and champagne, and enjoying the linguini and steak. Trump was attending with his wife, and his bodyguards were close by as well as security officials waiting outside the Ballroom by Trump's limousine.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash heard from the glass skylight of the Ballroom. Two individuals, dressed as ninja-like 'warriors' swooped down on ropes and introduced themselves to the stunned guests. Jimmy took great photos and also photos of Trump in complete awe:
SNAKE EYES: Do not be alarmed!
COBRA COMMANDER: We are paramilitary 'mercenaries.'
SNAKE EYES: We're here under a special combat assignment by the CIA and ISIS.
COBRA COMMANDER: I represent ISIS (the terrorist organization)!
SNAKE EYES: And I represent the CIA (your American intelligence security firm).
COBRA COMMANDER: Since Trump is at this 'high school reunion,' the battle is here.
SNAKE EYES: My name is Snake Eyes, and this is Cobra Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER: We've been challenged to fight in the Ballroom without hurting the guests.
SNAKE EYES: Do not worry therefore about stray bullets!
COBRA COMMANDER: The leaders of ISIS wanted to see if we could pull this off.
SNAKE EYES: The CIA conceded to the challenge to avoid further terrorism.
COBRA COMMANDER: We are both specialists, so simply stay clear and let us fight.
Jimmy couldn't believe his ears! This all seemed incredibly ridiculous. It seemed that ISIS had 'dared' the CIA to stage a public venue battle where the guests/civilians would remain protected, while the media would cover the 'ballroom battle.' Jimmy hypothesized that if the CIA conceded to such a challenge (sending Snake Eyes as its 'diplomat'), then ISIS would refrain from further terrorism initiatives against civilians. Jimmy wondered, however, if the CIA had 'gambled' away the lives of the guests at this Trump high school reunion and also wondered what the U.S. president had to say (and Trump finally spoke):
"Snake Eyes, Cobra Commander, on behalf of my administration, we 'welcome' you to this venue, and I trust the the CIA used good judgment in affording you this 'civilian arena' as the ground on which this battle must take place. We assure you that all of us guests will stay clear and out of your way and that Snake Eyes is the trusted American 'diplomat' who will handle all the necessary 'technicalities' and take on the complete challenges of the battle without hurting any of the guests. While I was not informed by the CIA that this was to take place, you have my support (and I noticed you two are carrying sabres instead of guns --- so there is no fear of 'stray bullets'!)"
All of the guests seemed to agree and condone what the American President said. Snake Eyes explained that he was once a P.O.W. charged with the egregious extermination of cruel prison guards en-route to his escape and then re-trained by the CIA as a 'super-assassin.' Cobra Commander explained that he was recruited by an ISIS leader to be a 'diplomat' of terrorism and that he was something like 'Leatherface' (the chainsaw-wielding ghoul from the American horror film series The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and that Snake Eyes was something like 'Michael Myers' (the eerie masked serial killer from the American horror film series Halloween).
When Jimmy Olsen asked the two why they could be considered as Leatherface and Michael Myers, Snake Eyes replied, "We are embodiments of everyday human anxieties regarding brute strength and the reality of death!" Jimmy realized that Snake Eyes' statement was meant to convey that the two were serious agents from their respective politically-minded organizations and simply hoped that Snake Eyes ('Michael Myers') was agile enough to tackle Cobra Commander ('Leatherface'). Snake Eyes was dressed in a tight black military body-suit, while Cobra Commander wore a bright-blue outfit with a cloth-tied face-mask. Snake Eyes looked like a real American assassin, while Cobra Commander really seemed like a willful terrorist.
The battle ensued, and Snake Eyes slit Cobra Commander down his right thigh with his sabre before Cobra Commander responded by gashing Snake Eyes across the chest with his own sabre. Snake Eyes than did a flip and kicked Cobra Commander in the chin; Cobra Commander retaliated by swiping Snake Eyes' legs from under him, causing the CIA assassin to fall to the ground. The whole time, the two skillful warriors wielded their sabres in motions that never threatened the people around them. Cobra Commander then held his sabre to Snake Eyes' face and suggested the CIA assassin surrender, but Snake Eyes whispered, "Never!" before grabbing Cobra Commander's leg and yanking it, causing the ISIS agent to fall down.
Snake Eyes then got up and held his own sabre to Cobra Commander's head and ordered that he be the one to rationally surrender, and the ISIS agent nodded his head slowly and said, "Alright." Snake Eyes then turned to the guests at the Ballroom (including the U.S. president) and said, "Thank you all for your patience and courage. Be relieved to know now that the CIA will handle all the details and you need only to return to your homes in the secure knowledge that ISIS has been satiated and that any further threats to civilian targets by ISIS will be handled by all the CIA's shrewd diplomats. You can drink champagne and consider this an 'adventure-theater show'!" President Trump gave a loud cheer, and Snake Eyes whisked Cobra Commander away back through the skylight from which they descended.
Jimmy Olsen delivered the 'action-packed' story to his boss at the Daily Bugle who was enraged. Jimmy was shocked and said, "I thought you would be thrilled! I got great photos!" to which his stubborn boss replied, "You fool! For all we know, President Trump had stage-actors plan the whole event so the media would say that he coordinated an entertainment program for his high school classmates. There's no evidence that President Trump was not informed of the event or that this so-called 'ISIS agent' would be appeased (along with the rest of the 'members' of his terrorist organization) simply because the battle took place in a 'civilian arena'!" Jimmy realized his boss was right and conceded to his boss's wishes simply to publish the 'interesting' photos with the 'normalized' headline, "Stunt or Stealth?" Jimmy wrote in his diary, "At least I know that President Trump is surrounded by cool characters!"
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