Zone1 I've Reached That Point Where I Have To Place My Wife In A Assisted Living Facility Focusing On Memory Treatment

[westwall]

This was my friends favorite song, I had it on an endless loop the day she passed..

 

[mudwhistle]

Do you have any type of help to assist you? Mom and Dad both ended up in memory care, Dad because he was old, Mom because she had ahlzeimers. Was not impressed. Mom was supposedly in the best facility for that and they let her crawl around on the floor. Dad they outright killed after getting him on hospice so he could avail himself of "more services" and the facility wouldnt be so burdened.
there were Five of us in town and at points dad wore all of us out at same time.

I have no kids and no relatives in town.
Used to be everyone lived in a big house and the generations took care of the old folks and youngins.
That all changed in the 60s.

 

[eagle1462010]

You will both be in my prayers. Hang tough and God Speed to you mud.

 

[mudwhistle]

 

[westwall]

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Beautiful woman, Mud.

 

[strollingbones]

What a smile..

 

[WorldWatcher]

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Do I get the feeling you married up in the world.

WW

 

[strollingbones]

the pic of her leaning into you...she felt safe with you and she knows she is loved...keep her safe and when she forgets she loves you ...dont forget you love her

 

[sparky]

May it all be easy for you both Muddy.....~S~

 

[JustAGuy1]

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She is beautiful, my heart breaks for you.

 

[beautress]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

Prayers up, mudwhistle.

My husband died June 13, 2016. He had dementia, but I decided to try and keep him at home as long as I could. He died in his sleep in front of the television, watching a dvd that must have been boring, because we both fell asleep, only when I woke up, I found he had passed away when I asked him if he liked the movie, and I realized he didn't answer because he was gone. He was losing his memories before we left Wyoming and came home to Texas in 2009, where my sister lived, only we picked a place in the country we thought wouldn't have too much traffic. When things got bad for him, I actually had looked at some homes to keep him in, but they declined to accept him because he had a kind of dementia in which one roams around or drives somewhere and gets lost. Nobody wanted a "wanderer," so I didn't have a choice, and having my personal dreamboat at home worked for me. When I realized three counties didn't want him driving their roads, I started sleeping in blue jeans with all the known car keys in my pockets, so that ended his straying. He wasn't any trouble, and when I realized he wouldn't be around much longer, I asked him: "please stay..." put on another DVD and hoped he'd be okay, but I was right, because that was when he passed away, although I was shocked when the coroner and her escorts showed up shortly after. In my county, if your loved one dies at home, the police come in and ask questions in the line of if you had something to do with their death. The coroner saw my shock, and shooed them away and explained it was a required routine in our county.

I wonder if social security or an IRA account can help with her nursing home expenses. Nurses aren't cheap, nor is keeping someone cleaned up who has lost their continence, which goes with the territory. Meanwhile, I'm putting you on my prayer list for giving her good care when she's lost all her faculties that could endanger both of you. May God hold you in the palm of his hand as you undergo this unpleasant endeavor of keeping the love of your life safe and protected for the duration.

 

[mudwhistle]

Prayers up, mudwhistle.

My husband died June 13, 2016. He had dementia, but I decided to try and keep him at home as long as I could. He died in his sleep in front of the television, watching a dvd that must have been boring, because we both fell asleep, only when I woke up, I found he had passed away when I asked him if he liked the movie, and I realized he didn't answer because he was gone. He was losing his memories before we left Wyoming and came home to Texas in 2009, where my sister lived, only we picked a place in the country we thought wouldn't have too much traffic. When things got bad for him, I actually had looked at some homes to keep him in, but they declined to accept him because he had a kind of dementia in which one roams around or drives somewhere and gets lost. Nobody wanted a "wanderer," so I didn't have a choice, and having my personal dreamboat at home worked for me. When I realized three counties didn't want him driving their roads, I started sleeping in blue jeans with all the known car keys in my pockets, so that ended his straying. He wasn't any trouble, and when I realized he wouldn't be around much longer, I asked him: "please stay..." put on another DVD and hoped he'd be okay, but I was right, because that was when he passed away, although I was shocked when the coroner and her escorts showed up shortly after. In my county, if your loved one dies at home, the police come in and ask questions in the line of if you had something to do with their death. The coroner saw my shock, and shooed them away and explained it was a required routine in our county.

I wonder if social security or an IRA account can help with her nursing home expenses. Nurses aren't cheap, nor is keeping someone cleaned up who has lost their continence, which goes with the territory. Meanwhile, I'm putting you on my prayer list for giving her good care when she's lost all her faculties that could endanger both of you. May God hold you in the palm of his hand as you undergo this unpleasant endeavor of keeping the love of your life safe and protected for the duration.

I've been networking this week and decided that I'm going to keep Elouise at home. The most difficult part of it isn't that she's so much a problem....but the fact that I have to keep an eye on her from Sun-up to Sun-down. I'm always exhausted. Partly lack of good sleep and partly because I feel like crying half the time. It's like watching the person I've loved for 46 years slowly slip away.
I'm gonna pay someone to watch her a couple of times a week at first so I can take care of things around the house without worrying about if she's moving things around so I can't find it. I have to become more active and get some exercise or I'll end up dying before she does.
I need to take care of some paperwork to make sure she has a will before she's too long gone

 

[strollingbones]

i just dont know what to say....each time you move them they get worse..simple as that...i think keeping her at home is way too much for you...when my mom first came down with it i read every book i could...i would spend my nights on line looking for anything that would help...nothing did...
read "the long good bye"...it is about how they fade away..slowly...sadly..

ask yourself...would she want this for you...to give up the time you have left taking care of her..you will be facing verbal attacks...they cant help it...the physical attacks are the worse....my mother would be beating the shit outta me and i would be telling the aids not to hurt her...she was strong as hell but fragile too..if that makes sense

i hate to say this...may she pass quickly..that would be best for you both...only people who have been here will understand what i am saying...

 

[beautress]

I've been networking this week and decided that I'm going to keep Elouise at home. The most difficult part of it isn't that she's so much a problem....but the fact that I have to keep an eye on her from Sun-up to Sun-down. I'm always exhausted. Partly lack of good sleep and partly because I feel like crying half the time. It's like watching the person I've loved for 46 years slowly slip away.
I'm gonna pay someone to watch her a couple of times a week at first so I can take care of things around the house without worrying about if she's moving things around so I can't find it. I have to become more active and get some exercise or I'll end up dying before she does.
I need to take care of some paperwork to make sure she has a will before she's too long gone

I've so been there, mudwhistle. Unless you have final stage cancer or something, she will go first. You can do this, mudwhistle. Most people who haven't taken a course in geriatrics are unaware of what a dying person needs. The very best thing you can do for your dear wife is to just be there for her, and letting her know you will always love her. It calms dying people down and comforts them to have their best loved one or positive friends fawning on them, even though it's hard at first. Medical specialists in aging persons that I knew when I was studying human health in college --well, they agree. While painful, the situation from life to death is eased by the person dying if they have their loved ones stroking their aching muscles (arms, back, etc.), bringing them a rose to smell, and what some people consider is spoiling them. You're likely the best person to help her in this transitional time of life to death. Money can't buy it, but letting your loved one know you love her is the very kindest type of transitioning as a comfort in passing. Don't underestimate yourself, and when it's her time to go, she will, and she will have an easier time of it when she knows you care for her. When you have pain, it isn't easy, but you will receive strength when you know you did your best to help her through this transition with sweet nothings, that are everything to a person who is dying. I don't know if it takes a day, a week, or months from now. I can only tell you that you can be proud of yourself for accepting stuff that is very hard at first, but you are doing her a favor by making sure her transition in knowing you love her enough to go through all this. As I said, my friend, is I care how you feel about yourself before and after her life ends. I want it to be all good, and you need to learn the words: "I can do this." You can, and you need to respect yourself as much as possible to ease your pain by easing hers. Love, beautress

 

[beautress]

This was my friends favorite song, I had it on an endless loop the day she passed..

Hey, westwall--that was my favorite karaoke song back when. Everybody loved hearing me singing it, but it was the artists I sang along with that made it a lot of fun. Three Dog Night did some great songs back when.

 

[Grau]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's condition and am intimately familiar with the feelings you are having.

I'm afraid that $4,000- sounds about right for a good place that provides good care.
My mom has lived at a retirement center for about 20 years and has gotten great care but because of her advanced dementia and poor health has to be moved to hospice on Monday and I'm dreading the effects the transition might have.

At least the facility you're looking at is only 3 miles away so you can see your wife frequently and spend more time with her.

Best of luck,

 

[TheParser]

Of course, I join other members (and guests) in expressing my deepest sympathies to you and your beloved wife.

You are certainly a good person in finding a first-class care facility for her.

This is a topic that many younger people prefer to ignore.

But they should really consider buying now some kind of caregiving insurance.

 

[mudwhistle]

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's condition and am intimately familiar with the feelings you are having.

I'm afraid that $4,000- sounds about right for a good place that provides good care.
My mom has lived at a retirement center for about 20 years and has gotten great care but because of her advanced dementia and poor health has to be moved to hospice on Monday and I'm dreading the effects the transition might have.

At least the facility you're looking at is only 3 miles away so you can see your wife frequently and spend more time with her.

Best of luck,

I started a new supplement regiment with Elouise and the difference was almost immediate.

A couple of days ago she was babbling, but today she's like she was a couple of years ago. She can't remember things too well but now she's communicating with me normally.

I have her on 5000 IU Vitamin D,
1 cap Prevagen,
2 caps MSM & Vitamin C
2 caps ea of "Balance Of Nature" Red and Green
I also have her off of the caffeine in her coffee
She's also taking 5 mg of Amlodinpine for high blood pressure

I've been talking to everyone and they told me the problem is just as much mine as it is her's.
She can't help what she does....so I have to let everything slide off my back like water on a duck.
Negativity has to be washed away.
No scary movies.
No news about Joe Biden.
Just Happy Happy Joy Joy.

 

[beautress]

I started a new supplement regiment with Elouise and the difference was almost immediate.

A couple of days ago she was babbling, but today she's like she was a couple of years ago. She can't remember things too well but now she's communicating with me normally.

I have her on 5000 IU Vitamin D,
1 cap Prevagen,
2 caps MSM & Vitamin C
2 caps ea of "Balance Of Nature" Red and Green
I also have her off of the caffeine in her coffee
She's also taking 5 mg of Amlodinpine for high blood pressure

I've been talking to everyone and they told me the problem is just as much mine as it is her's.
She can't help what she does....so I have to let everything slide off my back like water on a duck.
Negativity has to be washed away.
No scary movies.
No news about Joe Biden.
Just Happy Happy Joy Joy.

I'm so happy for her good turn around, Mr. Mudwhistle. Just make sure she doesn't forget that Prevagen capsule, because from all the reports I've heard the stuff is solid gold for the memory. I'm so happy for you!

 

[sparky]

I started a new supplement regiment with Elouise and the difference was almost immediate.

A couple of days ago she was babbling, but today she's like she was a couple of years ago. She can't remember things too well but now she's communicating with me normally.

I have her on 5000 IU Vitamin D,
1 cap Prevagen,
2 caps MSM & Vitamin C
2 caps ea of "Balance Of Nature" Red and Green
I also have her off of the caffeine in her coffee
She's also taking 5 mg of Amlodinpine for high blood pressure

I've been talking to everyone and they told me the problem is just as much mine as it is her's.
She can't help what she does....so I have to let everything slide off my back like water on a duck.
Negativity has to be washed away.
No scary movies.
No news about Joe Biden.
Just Happy Happy Joy Joy.

Saw a lotta this in the field ,and wish you the best of luck Muddy
You may not realize it yet , but you're gaining nursing qualifications....~S~