Zone1 I've Reached That Point Where I Have To Place My Wife In A Assisted Living Facility Focusing On Memory Treatment

[mudwhistle]

pickled onions?

dear Lord!

They go well on salads.....not on bare feet.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

So sorry to hear this. I had a go around with my Dad. He was violent, combative, stole whatever he got his hands on and ran away constantly. He ran away from every facility he was in until none would take him. I was stuck. On December 18, 1996, he took my best crock pot and shit in it. I threw it away. He got mad and ran away. I never saw him again. So, yeah, been there, seen the worst.

 

[mudwhistle]

So sorry. It is brutal when you have to have that kind of help but there are not sufficient funds to cover it. Check with your insurance carrier if you don't know whether you are covered for any of the expense. Also check with your state because some do have help with these kinds of situations. Also see if there are any private foundations or charities who might be able to help.

Prayers up.

They said the VA can pay $1400 of it.

 

[strollingbones]

So sorry to hear this. I had a go around with my Dad. He was violent, combative, stole whatever he got his hands on and ran away constantly. He ran away from every facility he was in until none would take him. I was stuck. On December 18, 1996, he took my best crock pot and shit in it. I threw it away. He got mad and ran away. I never saw him again. So, yeah, been there, seen the worst.

my mother was the cause of them banning fresh flowers..she would just flush them till the toilet clogged....she did that with bananas too

 

[westwall]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

It's sad when it happens, but don't beat yourself up. It is an amazingly debilitating disease, and patients require near 24/7 care. You are simply not up to it as an individual.

You ARE doing the best thing for her.

 

[Rambunctious]

sorry Rambunctious i am sensitive to the home care option....my mothers guardian ad lit um pushed that home care...after she attacked me....i would have lost my marriage...and basically a decade of my life...it was a mess even with her in a care unit...she escaped a couple of times...do not think cause they have memory problems they can figure shit out...

I understand 100%... no sorry required at all... I tried homecare for my mother and it worked for three years and finally we had to place her when she couldn't recognize any of us and became fearful of me and the home care nurse.... the final straw was when she somehow got a hold of her keys and drove off in the middle of the night and was found at the mall parking lot...

 

[strollingbones]

va paid part of my moms....you will have to be audited but its not much.

 

[mudwhistle]

So sorry to hear this. I had a go around with my Dad. He was violent, combative, stole whatever he got his hands on and ran away constantly. He ran away from every facility he was in until none would take him. I was stuck. On December 18, 1996, he took my best crock pot and shit in it. I threw it away. He got mad and ran away. I never saw him again. So, yeah, been there, seen the worst.

My wife is pretty thoughtful. She is reverting back to her childhood a bit.

I keep finding her makeshift chamber pots.

 

[strollingbones]

the stories are endless and go from damn funny to heart breaking...

 

[westwall]

I had to retire from Civil Service to care for her since 2019.
4 years as of the 1st of November.

It is a thankless, and brutal job my friend.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

my mother was the cause of them banning fresh flowers..she would just flush them till the toilet clogged....she did that with bananas too

Ohhh. How sad. What did she think she was doing?

 

[shockedcanadian]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

All the best. Such circumstances can't be easy.

 

[strollingbones]

heads up...a clothing company..buck and buck...i think is the name...
provides clothing to keep them in clothing etc...

they call it adaptive clothing

Buck & Buck Adaptive Clothing for Seniors, Disabled & Elderly Care

Adaptive Clothing for Seniors, Disabled & Elderly Care

www.buckandbuck.com

 

[westwall]

She's 85. I'm 67. Before this started she was having problems dealing with a bad hip. We got that taken care of but the pain-killers they gave her started this memory loss.

Yes, they immediately resort to opioids which pisses me off. They did that to a friend of mine and she went downhill fast.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I took care of my partner in his last days too. Because he needed 24 hour a day care, I gave up the apartment and moved into the back of the grooming shop. He had necrotizing fasciatis. They did surgery to remove the necrosis leaving a huge wound that needed a wet dry vac dressing. We had home care that was to change the dressing and reattach the vac. The nurse turned out to be a complete idiot black girl who maintained that changing that wet stinking dressing was racist. I left my assistant in charge and sped off to the hospital for instructions on changing the dressing myself. Eventually the infection went to his brain and killed him.

 

[Calypso Jones]

So sorry to hear this as well. It appears that many of us have had to deal with this situation. My mother after her stroke came to live with us. And she stayed until she became angry with me for no particular reason. We let her go home and my brother would check on her every morning/every evening. He was happy to do it. We were all determined not to put her in a nursing home. Thankfully or not, she had her final stroke and we were not faced with that situation. Miss her all the time. Unlike your situation, there were many of us. You do what you have to do...you do what is best for the one you love.

 

[candycorn]

I had to authorize discontinuation of life support for my spouse. It was a quick deterioration comparatively.

The biggest lie you’re ever told is that your spouse is 1/2 your life. They are 95% of your life. Minimum.

We’ve had our ups and downs....but I wish you strength.

 

[mudwhistle]

my mother was the cause of them banning fresh flowers..she would just flush them till the toilet clogged....she did that with bananas too

My wife can go thru 4 bunches of bananas in a couple of days.

I have to go around the house looking for where she put the peels.

 

[mudwhistle]

Truly sorry to hear that. You and I seem to disagree on everything, but all that goes away when it comes to something like this. I wish you both well.

Yeah. I'm a pretty forgiving person.
I just wish everyone else was that way.

 

[mudwhistle]

So sorry to hear this as well. It appears that many of us have had to deal with this situation. My mother after her stroke came to live with us. And she stayed until she became angry with me for no particular reason. We let her go home and my brother would check on her every morning/every evening. He was happy to do it. We were all determined not to put her in a nursing home. Thankfully or not, she had her final stroke and we were not faced with that situation. Miss her all the time. Unlike your situation, there were many of us. You do what you have to do...you do what is best for the one you love.

My niece offered to come over from North Carolina to help take care of her, but the last time she visited I ended up cooking and cleaning behind her and her boyfriend for about a month.