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'Is It Too Late To Ask Who Gerry Mander Is?' KBJ Whispers To Clarence Thomas
U.S.·Apr 29, 2026 · BabylonBee.comWASHINGTON, D.C. — Shortly before the United States Supreme Court issued its ruling on Louisiana's proposed redrawing of its congressional map, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson reportedly asked fellow Justice Clarence Thomas if it was too late to ask who this "Gerry Mander" person was.
As the justices heard arguments and debated the constitutionality of the Louisiana redistricting map, sources from within the Supreme Court chamber revealed that Jackson was overheard asking for clarity on the identity of the individual everyone kept mentioning in their discussion.
"I feel like I could offer more if I knew who they're talking about," Jackson was heard saying. "I've been hearing everyone saying, ‘Gerry Mander this,' and ‘Gerry Mander' that, but I have no clue who this man is supposed to be. Should I know who this is? Is it too late to ask who Gerry Mander is? Why is he given the power to redraw all of these maps anyway?"
Insiders said the other justices on the court rolled their eyes as though this was a common and frustrating occurrence. "Justice Thomas looked annoyed," one source said. "You could tell this wasn't the first time she's asked a really stupid question during a very important case. At one point, she actually proposed that Gerry Mander be brought in to be questioned by the court. It was embarrassing."
At publishing time, Jackson was heard giggling in the corner after the other justices gave her an iPad and headphones to keep her distracted with watching episodes of Bluey while the arguments continued.
