That is because Islam in some places is on the level where say Christianity was in the Middle Ages. Over the time, it will develop to more 'liberal' forms.
If you read the Old Testament, you may also be at first shocked by the harsh punishments and prescriptions there, if they are taken literally. But nowadays, even the most devoted groups of Jews and Christians don't follow them literally. The same will be for Islam.
Which Muslim countries have you lived in? Are you speaking of war torn Iraq or Afghanistan?