I'm bored....
- Thread starter Amanda
- Start date
OK
>>>> i got this in the mail from a friend. . . im not quite sure if
>>>there's a point to it but its hilarious...
>>
>>>> I like monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece.
>>>>
>>>> I thought this was odd since
>>>> they are normally a couple thousand apiece.
>>>>
>>>> I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of
>>>them.
>>>>
>>>> I like monkeys.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I took my 200 monkeys home.
>>>
>>>> I have a big car.
>>>>
>>>> I let one of them drive.
>>>
>>>> His name was Sigmund.
>>>>
>>>> He was retarded.
>>>>
>>>> In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching
>>>themselves in
>>>> the genitals.
>>>>
>>>> I laughed.
>>>>
>>>> They punched me in the genitals.
>>>>
>>>> I stopped laughing.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very
>>>well to
>>>> their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off
>>>the couch
>>>> at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first,
>>>the
>>>> spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.
>>>>
>>>> Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
>>>>
>>>> they all died.
>>>>
>>>> No apparent reason.
>>>>
>>>> They all just sort of dropped dead.
>>>> Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.
>>>>
>>>> God damn cheap monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all
>>>over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase.
>>>>
>>>> It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I tried to flush one down the toilet.
>>>>
>>>> It didn't work.
>>>>
>>>> It got stuck.
>>>>
>>>> Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead,
>>>dry
>>>monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> That worked for awhile, that is, until they began to decompose.
>>>>
>>>> It started to smell real bad.
>>>>
>>>> I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and
>>>> I didn't want to call a plumber.
>>>>
>>>> I was embarrassed.
>>>>
>>>> I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
>>>
>>>> Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had
>>>to change them every 30 seconds.
>>>
>>> I also had to eat allthe food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
>>>>
>>>> I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was
>>>flammable.
>>>>
>>>> I had to extinguish the fire.
>>>>
>>>> Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen
>>>monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred
>>>monkeys
>>>in a pile on my bed, and the odor wasn't improving.
>>>>
>>>> I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys
>>and
>>>I really had to use the bathroom.
>>>>
>>>> So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> I felt better.
>>>>
>>>> I tried throwing them away, but the garbage man said the city
>>>> was not allowed to dispose of charred primates.
>>>>
>>>> I told him I had a wet one.
>>>>
>>>> He couldn't take it either.
>>>>
>>>> I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
>>>>
>>>> I finally arrived at a solution:
>>>>
>>>> I gave them out as Christmas gifts.
>>>>
>>>> My friends didn't quite know what to say.
>>>>
>>>> They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying.
>>>>
>>>> Ingrates.
>>>>
>>>> So I punched them in the genitals.
>>>>
>>>> God, I like monkeys.
>>>> i got this in the mail from a friend. . . im not quite sure if
>>>there's a point to it but its hilarious...
>>
>>>> I like monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece.
>>>>
>>>> I thought this was odd since
>>>> they are normally a couple thousand apiece.
>>>>
>>>> I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of
>>>them.
>>>>
>>>> I like monkeys.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I took my 200 monkeys home.
>>>
>>>> I have a big car.
>>>>
>>>> I let one of them drive.
>>>
>>>> His name was Sigmund.
>>>>
>>>> He was retarded.
>>>>
>>>> In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching
>>>themselves in
>>>> the genitals.
>>>>
>>>> I laughed.
>>>>
>>>> They punched me in the genitals.
>>>>
>>>> I stopped laughing.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very
>>>well to
>>>> their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off
>>>the couch
>>>> at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first,
>>>the
>>>> spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.
>>>>
>>>> Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
>>>>
>>>> they all died.
>>>>
>>>> No apparent reason.
>>>>
>>>> They all just sort of dropped dead.
>>>> Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.
>>>>
>>>> God damn cheap monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all
>>>over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase.
>>>>
>>>> It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I tried to flush one down the toilet.
>>>>
>>>> It didn't work.
>>>>
>>>> It got stuck.
>>>>
>>>> Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead,
>>>dry
>>>monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> That worked for awhile, that is, until they began to decompose.
>>>>
>>>> It started to smell real bad.
>>>>
>>>> I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and
>>>> I didn't want to call a plumber.
>>>>
>>>> I was embarrassed.
>>>>
>>>> I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
>>>
>>>> Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had
>>>to change them every 30 seconds.
>>>
>>> I also had to eat allthe food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
>>>>
>>>> I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was
>>>flammable.
>>>>
>>>> I had to extinguish the fire.
>>>>
>>>> Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen
>>>monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred
>>>monkeys
>>>in a pile on my bed, and the odor wasn't improving.
>>>>
>>>> I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys
>>and
>>>I really had to use the bathroom.
>>>>
>>>> So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys.
>>>>
>>>> I felt better.
>>>>
>>>> I tried throwing them away, but the garbage man said the city
>>>> was not allowed to dispose of charred primates.
>>>>
>>>> I told him I had a wet one.
>>>>
>>>> He couldn't take it either.
>>>>
>>>> I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
>>>>
>>>> I finally arrived at a solution:
>>>>
>>>> I gave them out as Christmas gifts.
>>>>
>>>> My friends didn't quite know what to say.
>>>>
>>>> They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying.
>>>>
>>>> Ingrates.
>>>>
>>>> So I punched them in the genitals.
>>>>
>>>> God, I like monkeys.
manu1959
Left Coast Isolationist
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
Burp
Always carry, never tell
- Jan 22, 2009
- 1,133
- 190
- 48
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
manu1959
Left Coast Isolationist
face up or face down.....
Burp
Always carry, never tell
- Jan 22, 2009
- 1,133
- 190
- 48
face up or face down.....
I'm sure it depends on His mood.
PoliticalChic
Diamond Member
There once was a girl named Amanda
who had a boyfriend she was quite fond of
she loved him in general
but found him too liberal
then ditched him due to his propaganda
who had a boyfriend she was quite fond of
she loved him in general
but found him too liberal
then ditched him due to his propaganda
Anderson Cooper gives me the willies.
Coloradomtnman
Rational and proud of it.
Ha ha! Great limerick, Politicalchic.
I knew this woman named Politicalchic,
Who I thought was a backwards, red-neck hick.
So I went online,
To compain and whine,
But was neg repped and called a dick.
Have some Luke. Poor boy suffered a conviction.
[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/E5niNz39Fco&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/E5niNz39Fco&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]
There isn't anything much more pathetic than white people trying to be black, especially dipshit black talkers(rap clowns). It is even worse than the sports fan that says WE when talking about what his favorite team did.
strollingbones
Diamond Member
have you seen the velcro sheets?
Bedroom Bondage - Bondage Bedsheets | eXtreme Restraints
you can put a submissive in about any pose...
Bedroom Bondage - Bondage Bedsheets | eXtreme Restraints
you can put a submissive in about any pose...
Amanda
Calm as a Hindu cow
- Nov 28, 2008
- 4,426
- 1,011
- 48
- Thread starter
- #20
I have but they are too expensive for me. I have the straps that go under the bed so you don't need bed posts.
(Just found them on that site, highly recommended)
http://www.extremerestraints.com/bedroom-bondage_337/under-the-bed-restraint-system_638.html
Last edited:
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