It is sad to think I might not be able to work soon. I love my job, and the people I work with. The pay is great, more than I deserve, but it is the feeling of being useful and productive I enjoy the most.
That might be coming to an end now.
The problem is my memory. I keep forgetting the simplest stuff, even my kids names.
I was in the company cafeteria a few months ago and forgot where I was. For a few seconds I thought I was in my old high school cafeteria, but I knew that was impossible. Then I put it together where I was and my memories came back about why I was there and where etc.
And it is getting worse.
I am afraid to go anywhere and have worse episodes. What if I totally forget and have a case of amnesia or something?
Anyway, I am starting to think it may be time to mosey on into that pasture where the green grass grows.
And I dont feel happy about it at all.
Dear
JimBowie1958 Please get help from your doctor.
Early onset of this can be managed and treated
and it's better than waiting which makes it harder.
Tell your family and closest friends, and start putting a team
together so in the future they can rotate taking turns assisting you.
I consider the end of life very similar to the beginning.
Babies only understand food and hugs and can't recognize people yet.
They only remember things that are repeated enough that they
start to see the patterns. Faces that are too similar all look the same.
Most communication is nonverbal.
So please see and treat yourself as a precious BABY.
Let the people you love BABY you, and know it's okay
to feel like a little kid who is lost and doesn't know what's going on sometimes.
When we are very young and very old, we need supervision and assistance of others.
That's nature, there's nothing wrong with that.
Let your loved ones know, and if you can get help to keep a journal
of when you do or don't remember things, that can help you monitor
your situation with your doctor.
At 52 I'm already having weird memory lapses and frankly I just gave up worrying.
I decided to go with the flow, do what I can do and focus on,
and get help from friends with things that are too important for me to mess up.
If you are having serious memory lapses that worry you,
write them down on a flip calendar, and check with your doctor and family.
Just get help to watch over you, and don't worry about making decisions
by yourself, ask help from others and know that's part of life.
You have helped and mentored other people,
and your turn will come where you will lean on them to help you.