I need legal advice fom someone with experience with child services

[Barb]

Sorry about the long thread title.

This is my situation: My nephew, 15 years old, is a ward of the state. I found out today that he ran away from the facility he was housed in. In upstate NY January, is living somewhere out on the streets. His parents are fuck ups and had more chances than they ever deserved to be decent parents. His mother is in rehab and his father is in prison. My daughter was letting him stay with her, but the case worker slipped a warrant under her door and told her that if he is found there SHE will be arrested. This effectively drove a child from the only stable family member who was willing to care for him in order for the state to flush him out into the open.

I want to take custody of him. The state is treating this fifteen year old boy as if HE was a problem to be solved instead of a child, and every adult that was supposed to care for him abdicated responsibility for doing so. In spite of this, the mother retains custody, albeit not physical, that is to say she still has rights to him, and he reamins in the system. The parents can't or won't, and the state did a PISS poor job of trying to keep my nephew safe and in school. I'm fairly sure that if I get a shot at the mom she'll agree to sign away her rights. I would never restrict access, but I would insist on full custody. I'll be on the phone with the case worker tomorrow, and in front of the judge soon after that. I need to know what to say to obtain custody. I would appreciate any advice offered. He's a great kid. He thinks he's alone in the world. I'll break the law if I have to to bring him home, but I want to keep him here when I do.

 

[Barb]

Ten minutes and this is "old?!"

 

[007]

I think you stumped everybody Barb. I doubt anyone here has ever been in that situation. I sure haven't.

In any case, good luck.

 

[Luissa]

Provides lots of documentation of what has gone on, and provide everything you can that will show how well you can take care of him. I would also have the name of the school he will attend, and have a plan on how you will help him. I would also get some referral letters from friends and your boss/prof.

 

[Barb]

I think you stumped everybody Barb. I doubt anyone here has ever been in that situation. I sure haven't.

In any case, good luck.

Thank you. My daughter informed me of what had gone on over the past week this morning on the way to drop her off at college. She said he's a ward of the state, but it could be the court. Last I knew he was on his way back to school (there was a mishap over a planned home visit with my brother in law's (hes the one in jail) wife (she's not the addict, but she couldn't keep custody because the addict wasn't in rehab at the time. Its a MESS). The school canceled at the last minute, and the uncle (her brother) picked him up anyway. My daughter has been in court about this (not in trouble, but to see about her cousin) and the judge was angry at the people at the school. If I get the same judge, this could work in my nephew's favor. Since he went back, they won't let him attend classes or play basketball. The case worker is treating him like a felon instead of a child, and near as I can tell, the school is treating him like a problem to be solved instead of a child who has problems that need to be solved. I think its the state, because the court doesn't seem pleased about any of this. I can't stand that my nephew is living like a 42 year old vagrant instead of a fifteen year old kid. This is upstate NY. Its cold outside. My daughter is trying to contact him, and I'm hoping to have him here before tomorrow is over. Legally or otherwise. I'm not about to let him freeze to death while I wait for permission to take family in.

 

[Barb]

Provides lots of documentation of what has gone on, and provide everything you can that will show how well you can take care of him. I would also have the name of the school he will attend, and have a plan on how you will help him. I would also get some referral letters from friends and your boss/prof.

I can do all that. He'd have his own room (my daughter is in college) and he'd go to the same school as my son, who's seventeen. Both my kids lived, the one in college they've already seen, neither has ever run away, I've had no contact with child services befor...hell, neither one of them ever had an accident or broke a bone. My boss would write me a letter, probably profs too. Thanks Luissa!

 

[Luissa]

Provides lots of documentation of what has gone on, and provide everything you can that will show how well you can take care of him. I would also have the name of the school he will attend, and have a plan on how you will help him. I would also get some referral letters from friends and your boss/prof.

I can do all that. He'd have his own room (my daughter is in college) and he'd go to the same school as my son, who's seventeen. Both my kids lived, the one in college they've already seen, neither has ever run away, I've had no contact with child services befor...hell, neither one of them ever had an accident or broke a bone. My boss would write me a letter, probably profs too. Thanks Luissa!

My mom's ex was an ass and didn't like the fact she got so much out of him in the divorce, he took her to court every two years to get custody of my brothers. My mom never lost.
And if you have a Law school at your college, you can usually get free legal service from the students. I know here they have a program where students will help you, don't think they go to court with you, but they do provide help.
Good Luck with everything!

 

[Terry]

I'm not an attorney but it would be wise to get one yourself to represent you. You will need to show the court that you have a stable environment both financially and emotionally. Usually from what I heard once the State are aware that you have an attorney to seek guardianship then tend to back down and work with you. If a person is willing to pay the bucks for an attorney to help out a child this shows the Authorities that you are serious.

In the mean time if he is out on the street and you care so much for him then perhaps you should find him a hotel room, apt or somewhere he can stay. I would imagine you can petition the court for intimidate address in this situation for the good of the child welfare.

You really should get an attorney.

 

[B L Zeebub]

Barb I don't wish to appear rude, but get a lawyer.

 

[RodISHI]

You have gotten the best advice get an attorney to help you. I took in my nephew for a summer when he was 15 and living on the streets in California. It will be a tough job for you if he is already messed up. I wish you the best with him.

 

[eots]

Barb I don't wish to appear rude, but get a lawyer.

Sad but true..

 

[Barb]

You have gotten the best advice get an attorney to help you. I took in my nephew for a summer when he was 15 and living on the streets in California. It will be a tough job for you if he is already messed up. I wish you the best with him.

Thanks, and thanks to everyone who wrote back. I'm already having trouble with his uncle (my old man) about the "trouble." Sheesh. I'll have our daughter work on him. He'll be glad he did it anyway. Family should look out. I can't see it any other way.

 

[Midnight Marauder]

Ten minutes and this is "old?!"

It only shows to you as "old" because the cookies in your browser tell the system you have seen the thread.

All who haven't clicked it will still see it as "new."

 

[Truthmatters]

You have gotten the best advice get an attorney to help you. I took in my nephew for a summer when he was 15 and living on the streets in California. It will be a tough job for you if he is already messed up. I wish you the best with him.

Thanks, and thanks to everyone who wrote back. I'm already having trouble with his uncle (my old man) about the "trouble." Sheesh. I'll have our daughter work on him. He'll be glad he did it anyway. Family should look out. I can't see it any other way.

I hope for the best for all of you. I advise you sit your own son down for a long talk about not letting this young man direct him into trouble. If your son has your back (instead of feeling he has to appease his cousin because his cousin has had such a tuff time) then you all have a better chance.

Make sure your own son knows this kid is likely to still make mistakes in his decisions because that is what he saw all his life. Tell him to guide the cousin and not the other way arround.

 

[Barb]

Ten minutes and this is "old?!"

It only shows to you as "old" because the cookies in your browser tell the system you have seen the thread.

All who haven't clicked it will still see it as "new."

Thanks, there should be a "duh" smiley.

 

[Barb]

You have gotten the best advice get an attorney to help you. I took in my nephew for a summer when he was 15 and living on the streets in California. It will be a tough job for you if he is already messed up. I wish you the best with him.

Thanks, and thanks to everyone who wrote back. I'm already having trouble with his uncle (my old man) about the "trouble." Sheesh. I'll have our daughter work on him. He'll be glad he did it anyway. Family should look out. I can't see it any other way.

I hope for the best for all of you. I advise you sit your own son down for a long talk about not letting this young man direct him into trouble. If your son has your back (instead of feeling he has to appease his cousin because his cousin has had such a tuff time) then you all have a better chance.

Make sure your own son knows this kid is likely to still make mistakes in his decisions because that is what he saw all his life. Tell him to guide the cousin and not the other way arround.

I can only keep him until Monday, and he promised to go back to school and stay out of trouble until I can figure something out. Thanks for the advice, but he's stayed with us weekends just a couple years ago before his family imploded, and he was never anything but a joy to have around. My daughter claims he's a "little whippersnapper," but he's good as gold for me. My son is almost three years older, and we live three miles and a tree stump away from anything.
Its his temper that made him run. The people don't treat these kids like they have problems to solve, they treat them as if they WERE problems to be solved. My nephew didn't cause his parents to abandon him for drugs, and it is totally not his fault he's where he is.
Thank you for the good wishes, I really appreciate them.

 

[random3434]

All the best to you Barb, for his sake I hope they do the right thing and let him come live with you. Poor guy, he probably doesn't know who to turn to or who he can trust.

You got some good advice from the others on here, a lawyer would be worth it so you can get him to your house and start to help him. Of course he will have some problems at first, and many adjustments, but knowing that he's finally in a loving, stable environment will do wonders for him

Good Luck dear, to both of you!