I Believe In UFO's.

[JAG]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

It is designed to poke harmless fun at people who believe in UFO's and other crazy
stuff like The American Government Is Putting Chemicals In Our Water To Control The
American Population . . .

. . . and stuff like The American Government Has Captured Aliens And Has Them
Locked Up In Secret Places.

If you are NOT in the mood to read pure insanity, then read no further.

______________

I Believe In UFO's
by JAG


"There is good solid evidence for the reality of UFO's", say some people.

My reply to them is this:

I believe in UFO's. Just yesterday my wife and I were out in the back yard when
an Unidentified Flying Object landed on our patio table as we were relaxing sipping
tea.

Good Lands! I exclaimed, what can that be?

My wife immediately recognized it as a UFO.

I noticed that it was about 6 inches long and about 3 inches wide.

It made a humming sound as it landed. The humming sound continued for about
3 minutes and then began to slowly die down.

We didn't know what to think about that, so we just sat there flabbergasted and
bewildered staring at the UFO.

Suddenly we saw the door in the side of the UFO open, and out stepped 3
little orange colored men about 2 inches tall.

One of them said Hello JAG, how are you?

I'm doing just fine. I replied, and I hope you are doing well yourself.

Listen I said, is that a spaceship you all just landed on my patio table?

Yes it is, said one of the little orange men.

Then they introduced themselves.

The one who first spoke to me said he was the leader and that his name was
Qzxzzxzzxzqqqxq, but I could just called him Bob, because that would make things
much less complicated.

The other two introduced themselves as Henry and Tom.

Okay I said, and by the way, where are you all from?

We're from the Andromeda Galaxy some 2.5 million light years from Earth, said Bob.

Well I said, that's interesting Bob. What planet are you from?

Sorry, replied Bob, but we can't tell you that, its classified.

Okay Bob I said, can you tell me why you all have landed your spaceship on my patio table?

We were sent to Earth just to see you JAG, said Henry.

Good lands! I replied, why me? Why would you travel all that distance just to see me?

We came to tell you that Donald Trump is not really an Earthling.

What? I exclaimed, you mean he's not one of us?

That's right, said Henry. Donald Trump is from another planet and he was sent here to Earth
to prepare you Earthlings for more and more friendly visits from we visitors from Outer Space.

Really? I exclaimed, You mean they're coming here to be our friends? To help us?

Yes indeed, replied Bob. There is a lot we know that can help you Earthlings, a whole lot.

Can you give me an example, I asked.

Sure I can, replied Bob. You JAG are a Postmillennialist, and we can tell you that we know
for an absolute fact, that Postmillennialism is the absolute truth.

I always knew it was, I replied, but it makes my heart glad to hear it from you good folks out
there in the Andromeda Galaxy.

What else can you tell me that will cheer my heart, I asked.

We can tell you JAG, that you are a solid gold human being, and we have great hopes for you.

Thank you very much I replied, and may the Force be with you.

Thanks JAG, and may the Force be with you too, and the wifey as well.

My wife smiled at hearing that, and said, "Thanks guys, much appreciated."

Well, said Bob, we have to be getting back home. It was nice chatting with you JAG,
and we'll be in touch.

Sounds good to me, you all take care now.

Goodbye JAG.

So long fellows, I said.

Then Bob, and Tom, and Henry returned to their spaceship and took off into the
blue yonder.

The end.

LOL . . .

 

[The Irish Ram]

Sequel:

They came back that evening and sucked my brains out and turned me into a dingo. They seemed to approve of my wife though. Did I mention she posed for Playboy?

 

[JAG]

Sequel:

Outstanding.

They came back that evening and sucked my brains out and
turned me into a dingo.

I am very sorry to hear that.
Yet you seem to be intellectually "back up and running"
just peachy fine and dandy.

They seemed to approve of my wife though.

I certainly hope they do not return and kidnap her.
Aliens do sometimes capture humans and take them
to their :"home planet" and study them.

Did I mention she posed for Playboy?

Yes you did.

________

Thanks The Irish Ram, for your fascinating comments.


`

 

[bluzman61]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

It is designed to poke harmless fun at people who believe in UFO's and other crazy
stuff like The American Government Is Putting Chemicals In Our Water To Control The
American Population . . .

. . . and stuff like The American Government Has Captured Aliens And Has Them
Locked Up In Secret Places.

If you are NOT in the mood to read pure insanity, then read no further.

______________

I Believe In UFO's
by JAG


"There is good solid evidence for the reality of UFO's", say some people.

My reply to them is this:

I believe in UFO's. Just yesterday my wife and I were out in the back yard when
an Unidentified Flying Object landed on our patio table as we were relaxing sipping
tea.

Good Lands! I exclaimed, what can that be?

My wife immediately recognized it as a UFO.

I noticed that it was about 6 inches long and about 3 inches wide.

It made a humming sound as it landed. The humming sound continued for about
3 minutes and then began to slowly die down.

We didn't know what to think about that, so we just sat there flabbergasted and
bewildered staring at the UFO.

Suddenly we saw the door in the side of the UFO open, and out stepped 3
little orange colored men about 2 inches tall.

One of them said Hello JAG, how are you?

I'm doing just fine. I replied, and I hope you are doing well yourself.

Listen I said, is that a spaceship you all just landed on my patio table?

Yes it is, said one of the little orange men.

Then they introduced themselves.

The one who first spoke to me said he was the leader and that his name was
Qzxzzxzzxzqqqxq, but I could just called him Bob, because that would make things
much less complicated.

The other two introduced themselves as Henry and Tom.

Okay I said, and by the way, where are you all from?

We're from the Andromeda Galaxy some 2.5 million light years from Earth, said Bob.

Well I said, that's interesting Bob. What planet are you from?

Sorry, replied Bob, but we can't tell you that, its classified.

Okay Bob I said, can you tell me why you all have landed your spaceship on my patio table?

We were sent to Earth just to see you JAG, said Henry.

Good lands! I replied, why me? Why would you travel all that distance just to see me?

We came to tell you that Donald Trump is not really an Earthling.

What? I exclaimed, you mean he's not one of us?

That's right, said Henry. Donald Trump is from another planet and he was sent here to Earth
to prepare you Earthlings for more and more friendly visits from we visitors from Outer Space.

Really? I exclaimed, You mean they're coming here to be our friends? To help us?

Yes indeed, replied Bob. There is a lot we know that can help you Earthlings, a whole lot.

Can you give me an example, I asked.

Sure I can, replied Bob. You JAG are a Postmillennialist, and we can tell you that we know
for an absolute fact, that Postmillennialism is the absolute truth.

I always knew it was, I replied, but it makes my heart glad to hear it from you good folks out
there in the Andromeda Galaxy.

What else can you tell me that will cheer my heart, I asked.

We can tell you JAG, that you are a solid gold human being, and we have great hopes for you.

Thank you very much I replied, and may the Force be with you.

Thanks JAG, and may the Force be with you too, and the wifey as well.

My wife smiled at hearing that, and said, "Thanks guys, much appreciated."

Well, said Bob, we have to be getting back home. It was nice chatting with you JAG,
and we'll be in touch.

Sounds good to me, you all take care now.

Goodbye JAG.

So long fellows, I said.

Then Bob, and Tom, and Henry returned to their spaceship and took off into the
blue yonder.

The end.

LOL . . .

UFO's DO exist, ya fartknocker. You're welcome.

 

[The Irish Ram]

lol.
BUT, they DID come back. With 4 of their friends and a Polaroid! Then you heard one exclaim, "You won't belive how BIG they are"! You only had one choice, so you grabbed your wife and your clogging shoes, and starting singing, Dance to the Music. But every time you stomped on one, it morphed into 2. In desperation you

 

[toobfreak]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

I didn't read your stupid long diatribe, but I thought I'd just add that four times in my life as a trained, skilled observer have I seen what appeared to be a UFO. One other time by a credible witness, a country aunt of mine who lived far out in the middle of nowhere who had absolutely no propensity nor reason to lie or exaggerate. And one other time by a best friend of 35 years who told me what he saw for the first time, just days before he died when he KNEW he was dying.

Of those four times of mine, two could be dismissed as weather balloons. One other I followed in broad daylight. It could have been anything, but it was so large and low and was tumbling head over heels so fast like a giant pill on a day with not even a breeze, that it couldn't have been a simple balloon driven by the wind but was moving along quite fast silently under some sort of power.

What about the forth time? In the late 60's I saw three UFO in a telescope at night very high up, no sound, moving together. Problem? They would often change speed and direction individually in ways that NO VEHICLE KNOWN TO SCIENCE TODAY CAN DO. Nothing.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain what I saw as anything other than a genuine UFO(s), operating by a science impossible by any technology known by man that would kill any human pilot. And that was over 50 years ago!

 

[miketx]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

It is designed to poke harmless fun at people who believe in UFO's and other crazy
stuff like The American Government Is Putting Chemicals In Our Water To Control The
American Population . . .

. . . and stuff like The American Government Has Captured Aliens And Has Them
Locked Up In Secret Places.

If you are NOT in the mood to read pure insanity, then read no further.

______________

I Believe In UFO's
by JAG


"There is good solid evidence for the reality of UFO's", say some people.

My reply to them is this:

I believe in UFO's. Just yesterday my wife and I were out in the back yard when
an Unidentified Flying Object landed on our patio table as we were relaxing sipping
tea.

Good Lands! I exclaimed, what can that be?

My wife immediately recognized it as a UFO.

I noticed that it was about 6 inches long and about 3 inches wide.

It made a humming sound as it landed. The humming sound continued for about
3 minutes and then began to slowly die down.

We didn't know what to think about that, so we just sat there flabbergasted and
bewildered staring at the UFO.

Suddenly we saw the door in the side of the UFO open, and out stepped 3
little orange colored men about 2 inches tall.

One of them said Hello JAG, how are you?

I'm doing just fine. I replied, and I hope you are doing well yourself.

Listen I said, is that a spaceship you all just landed on my patio table?

Yes it is, said one of the little orange men.

Then they introduced themselves.

The one who first spoke to me said he was the leader and that his name was
Qzxzzxzzxzqqqxq, but I could just called him Bob, because that would make things
much less complicated.

The other two introduced themselves as Henry and Tom.

Okay I said, and by the way, where are you all from?

We're from the Andromeda Galaxy some 2.5 million light years from Earth, said Bob.

Well I said, that's interesting Bob. What planet are you from?

Sorry, replied Bob, but we can't tell you that, its classified.

Okay Bob I said, can you tell me why you all have landed your spaceship on my patio table?

We were sent to Earth just to see you JAG, said Henry.

Good lands! I replied, why me? Why would you travel all that distance just to see me?

We came to tell you that Donald Trump is not really an Earthling.

What? I exclaimed, you mean he's not one of us?

That's right, said Henry. Donald Trump is from another planet and he was sent here to Earth
to prepare you Earthlings for more and more friendly visits from we visitors from Outer Space.

Really? I exclaimed, You mean they're coming here to be our friends? To help us?

Yes indeed, replied Bob. There is a lot we know that can help you Earthlings, a whole lot.

Can you give me an example, I asked.

Sure I can, replied Bob. You JAG are a Postmillennialist, and we can tell you that we know
for an absolute fact, that Postmillennialism is the absolute truth.

I always knew it was, I replied, but it makes my heart glad to hear it from you good folks out
there in the Andromeda Galaxy.

What else can you tell me that will cheer my heart, I asked.

We can tell you JAG, that you are a solid gold human being, and we have great hopes for you.

Thank you very much I replied, and may the Force be with you.

Thanks JAG, and may the Force be with you too, and the wifey as well.

My wife smiled at hearing that, and said, "Thanks guys, much appreciated."

Well, said Bob, we have to be getting back home. It was nice chatting with you JAG,
and we'll be in touch.

Sounds good to me, you all take care now.

Goodbye JAG.

So long fellows, I said.

Then Bob, and Tom, and Henry returned to their spaceship and took off into the
blue yonder.

The end.

LOL . . .

 

[JAG]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

I didn't read your stupid long diatribe, but I thought I'd just add that four times in my life as a trained, skilled observer have I seen what appeared to be a UFO. One other time by a credible witness, a country aunt of mine who lived far out in the middle of nowhere who had absolutely no propensity nor reason to lie or exaggerate. And one other time by a best friend of 35 years who told me what he saw for the first time, just days before he died when he KNEW he was dying.

Of those four times of mine, two could be dismissed as weather balloons. One other I followed in broad daylight. It could have been anything, but it was so large and low and was tumbling head over heels so fast like a giant pill on a day with not even a breeze, that it couldn't have been a simple balloon driven by the wind but was moving along quite fast silently under some sort of power.

What about the forth time? In the late 60's I saw three UFO in a telescope at night very high up, no sound, moving together. Problem? They would often change speed and direction individually in ways that NO VEHICLE KNOWN TO SCIENCE TODAY CAN DO. Nothing.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain what I saw as anything other than a genuine UFO(s), operating by a science impossible by any technology known by man that would kill any human pilot. And that was over 50 years ago!

Toobfreak,

Well, with that kind of solid evidence up there the issue is forever settled and all future
debate on the issue of UFO's is moot.

Also thank you for your remark saying "I didn't read your stupid long diatribe" --- your saying
that really touched my heart. That kind of empathy and compassion is most heart-warming.

You are a genuine human being and very considerate of others and their feelings.

Let me share with you a Bible verse that is representative of how you post.
"So in everything do to others what you would have them do unto you."Matthew 7:12

May The Force be with you.


`

 

[JAG]

[ . . . .\

Miketx,
Amazing!
The little men that visited me, looked exactly like the ones in your picture.
How on earth could you have known that?
You have powers.

`

 

[JAG]

UFO's DO exist, ya fartknocker. You're welcome.

How does one knock flatulence?
Wouldn't that be like knocking a cloud?
I don't think that can be done.

"UFO's do exist"___Bluzman
Well! That settles it.

`

 

[JAG]

lol.

/grin

BUT, they DID come back.

These particular aliens are persistent little fellows.

With 4 of their friends and a Polaroid!

Now we have 7 to deal with.
I had hoped they would have camera-smart-phones.

Then you heard one exclaim, "You won't believe how BIG they are"!

That is certainly understandable. I mean I'm 6 foot tall and they're . . what did I say . .
2 inches tall.

You only had one choice, so you grabbed your wife and your clogging shoes,
and starting singing, Dance to the Music.

I love music.

But every time you stomped on one, it morphed into 2.

Okay.
Endless aliens.
I love it.

The Irish Ram,
Thanks again for your interesting input.


`

`

 

[bluzman61]

UFO's DO exist, ya fartknocker. You're welcome.

How does one knock flatulence?
Wouldn't that be like knocking a cloud?
I don't think that can be done.

"UFO's do exist"___Bluzman
Well! That settles it.

`

I AM, of course, THE site expert on UFO'S AND flatulence. I SHIT you not.............

 

[bluzman61]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

I didn't read your stupid long diatribe, but I thought I'd just add that four times in my life as a trained, skilled observer have I seen what appeared to be a UFO. One other time by a credible witness, a country aunt of mine who lived far out in the middle of nowhere who had absolutely no propensity nor reason to lie or exaggerate. And one other time by a best friend of 35 years who told me what he saw for the first time, just days before he died when he KNEW he was dying.

Of those four times of mine, two could be dismissed as weather balloons. One other I followed in broad daylight. It could have been anything, but it was so large and low and was tumbling head over heels so fast like a giant pill on a day with not even a breeze, that it couldn't have been a simple balloon driven by the wind but was moving along quite fast silently under some sort of power.

What about the forth time? In the late 60's I saw three UFO in a telescope at night very high up, no sound, moving together. Problem? They would often change speed and direction individually in ways that NO VEHICLE KNOWN TO SCIENCE TODAY CAN DO. Nothing.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain what I saw as anything other than a genuine UFO(s), operating by a science impossible by any technology known by man that would kill any human pilot. And that was over 50 years ago!

Thanks, tf. You once AGAIN bring truth and sensibility to a thread that SEVERELY lacks both of these.

 

[toobfreak]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

I didn't read your stupid long diatribe, but I thought I'd just add that four times in my life as a trained, skilled observer have I seen what appeared to be a UFO. One other time by a credible witness, a country aunt of mine who lived far out in the middle of nowhere who had absolutely no propensity nor reason to lie or exaggerate. And one other time by a best friend of 35 years who told me what he saw for the first time, just days before he died when he KNEW he was dying.

Of those four times of mine, two could be dismissed as weather balloons. One other I followed in broad daylight. It could have been anything, but it was so large and low and was tumbling head over heels so fast like a giant pill on a day with not even a breeze, that it couldn't have been a simple balloon driven by the wind but was moving along quite fast silently under some sort of power.

What about the forth time? In the late 60's I saw three UFO in a telescope at night very high up, no sound, moving together. Problem? They would often change speed and direction individually in ways that NO VEHICLE KNOWN TO SCIENCE TODAY CAN DO. Nothing.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain what I saw as anything other than a genuine UFO(s), operating by a science impossible by any technology known by man that would kill any human pilot. And that was over 50 years ago!

Toobfreak,

Well, with that kind of solid evidence up there the issue is forever settled and all future
debate on the issue of UFO's is moot.

Also thank you for your remark saying "I didn't read your stupid long diatribe" --- your saying
that really touched my heart. That kind of empathy and compassion is most heart-warming.

You are a genuine human being and very considerate of others and their feelings.

Let me share with you a Bible verse that is representative of how you post.
"So in everything do to others what you would have them do unto you."Matthew 7:12

May The Force be with you.


`

Dear Jagoff, drop dead. Literally.

No point in reading your long rant on ridicule of the subject of UFOs which you know nothing about. Next time if you have anything worth reading, make it cogent and succinct. Only you have a fascination with your drivel. I know what I saw, I know the people who told me things and they wouldn't lie. Proves nothing, but then, there is nothing that would ever prove anything to you unless they landed, kicked in your door and took your wife.

 

[bluzman61]

This following is a fun piece I wrote and its total craziness nonsense, but it was
enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

I didn't read your stupid long diatribe, but I thought I'd just add that four times in my life as a trained, skilled observer have I seen what appeared to be a UFO. One other time by a credible witness, a country aunt of mine who lived far out in the middle of nowhere who had absolutely no propensity nor reason to lie or exaggerate. And one other time by a best friend of 35 years who told me what he saw for the first time, just days before he died when he KNEW he was dying.

Of those four times of mine, two could be dismissed as weather balloons. One other I followed in broad daylight. It could have been anything, but it was so large and low and was tumbling head over heels so fast like a giant pill on a day with not even a breeze, that it couldn't have been a simple balloon driven by the wind but was moving along quite fast silently under some sort of power.

What about the forth time? In the late 60's I saw three UFO in a telescope at night very high up, no sound, moving together. Problem? They would often change speed and direction individually in ways that NO VEHICLE KNOWN TO SCIENCE TODAY CAN DO. Nothing.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain what I saw as anything other than a genuine UFO(s), operating by a science impossible by any technology known by man that would kill any human pilot. And that was over 50 years ago!

Toobfreak,

Well, with that kind of solid evidence up there the issue is forever settled and all future
debate on the issue of UFO's is moot.

Also thank you for your remark saying "I didn't read your stupid long diatribe" --- your saying
that really touched my heart. That kind of empathy and compassion is most heart-warming.

You are a genuine human being and very considerate of others and their feelings.

Let me share with you a Bible verse that is representative of how you post.
"So in everything do to others what you would have them do unto you."Matthew 7:12

May The Force be with you.


`

Dear Jagoff, drop dead. Literally.

No point in reading your long rant on ridicule of the subject of UFOs which you know nothing about. Next time if you have anything worth reading, make it cogent and succinct. Only you have a fascination with your drivel. I know what I saw, I know the people who told me things and they wouldn't lie. Proves nothing, but then, there is nothing that would ever prove anything to you unless they landed, kicked in your door and took your wife.

Fantastic reply, tf! "Dear Jagoff", PRICELESS.

 

[JAG]

Dear Jagoff, drop dead. Literally.

No thank you Toobfreak.
Thanks for the suggestion though --- it was very thoughtful of you.

No point in reading your long rant on ridicule of the subject

It was a short response. I rant you not!

of UFOs which you know nothing about.

Ah but I do.
Read my Opening Post.
It actually happened -- and you will believe it, I feel sure you will.

Next time if you have anything worth reading, make it cogent and succinct.

I did that this time. Cogent AND succinct.

Only you have a fascination with your drivel.

I drivel you not.
You are fascinated with my story.
You like it.

I know what I saw, I know the people who told me things and they wouldn't lie.
Proves nothing, but then, there is nothing that would ever prove anything to
you unless they landed, kicked in your door and took your wife.

Ah, I think you have a solid case.
Listen: The American Government Is Putting Chemicals In Our Drinking Water
To Control The American People, You believe it.
Also this:
The American Government Has Captured Aliens And Has Them Locked Up In Secret Places.
I know you believe it.

________

Toobfreak,
In closing let me thank you very much for your kindness and your compassion and your
empathy and sympathy. You have a heart of pure gold.



`

 

[toobfreak]

No thank you Toobfreak.

^^^^^ Bored to snot.
Jag's off his pot.
When he gets there, going nowhere,
he'll never know he wasn't hot.

 

[JAG]

Fantastic reply, tf! "Dear Jagoff", PRICELESS.

Hi Bluzman,
If he had said "Dear Bluzoff" would you have replied with
"Fantastic reply 'Bluzoff' PRICELESS"?

 

[toobfreak]

Fantastic reply, tf! "Dear Jagoff", PRICELESS.

Hi Bluzman,
If he had said "Dear Bluzoff" would you have replied with
"Fantastic reply 'Bluzoff' PRICELESS"?

Ack ack adak,
Jag's a UFO pack.
When he get's done,
he prolly weighs a ton,
his mommy will slap him back.

 

[toobfreak]

Fantastic reply, tf! "Dear Jagoff", PRICELESS.

Bible Thumper,
Rubber humper,
Never a mound to care.
Give me a noose, or let me loose,
Ol' JAG's gonna pump her.