fuzzykitten99
VIP Member
This one is for you "ME"
HOW TO FLUSH A QURAN
Let's say you have a job terrorizing Muslim detainees at a US concentration camp, & want to soften them up by flushing a Quran down the crapper. You're worried that if a 700-page book clogs up the poop-chute - which it probably will - it will come out of your pitiful military salary. Worse, your captives will laugh at you. Here are some suggestions:
1) Use a Quran printed entirely on toilet paper. If impossible to locate, proceed to alternate methods
2) Marinate Quran in meat tenderizer or Pepsi for two weeks. (If religious, use Mecca Cola.) Pound with mallet, wine bottle, or large marital aid until pulpy. Flush.
3) Drive over Quran in your car until it is no more than ¼ " thick. Peel off driveway. Flush.
4) Convert toilet into combination toilet/trash compactor.
5) Flush Cliff's Notes on Quran instead. (This is cheating)
6) Place Quran in toilet bowl. Add 1 quart of lye. Let stew for several days. Try to avoid using toilet during this period, or you will have disgusting mess on your hands. (If smell unbearable, add a little Old Spice or Brut.)
7) Eat entire Quran page by page. Defecate. If necessary, use Milk of Magnesia
8) Wash Quran in hot water. Set dryer on Scorch. Repeat 50 times or until Quran no larger than pager. Flush.
9) Find toilet that is 6 feet tall with exit pipe at least 1½ feet in diameter. Do not fall in.
10) Stock toilet with piranha. Baste Quran in beef drippings. Note: Do NOT use pork, as this would be sacrilegious
...swiped this from: http://www.ihatemycubicle.com/2005/06/this_one_is_for.html
HOW TO FLUSH A QURAN
Let's say you have a job terrorizing Muslim detainees at a US concentration camp, & want to soften them up by flushing a Quran down the crapper. You're worried that if a 700-page book clogs up the poop-chute - which it probably will - it will come out of your pitiful military salary. Worse, your captives will laugh at you. Here are some suggestions:
1) Use a Quran printed entirely on toilet paper. If impossible to locate, proceed to alternate methods
2) Marinate Quran in meat tenderizer or Pepsi for two weeks. (If religious, use Mecca Cola.) Pound with mallet, wine bottle, or large marital aid until pulpy. Flush.
3) Drive over Quran in your car until it is no more than ¼ " thick. Peel off driveway. Flush.
4) Convert toilet into combination toilet/trash compactor.
5) Flush Cliff's Notes on Quran instead. (This is cheating)
6) Place Quran in toilet bowl. Add 1 quart of lye. Let stew for several days. Try to avoid using toilet during this period, or you will have disgusting mess on your hands. (If smell unbearable, add a little Old Spice or Brut.)
7) Eat entire Quran page by page. Defecate. If necessary, use Milk of Magnesia
8) Wash Quran in hot water. Set dryer on Scorch. Repeat 50 times or until Quran no larger than pager. Flush.
9) Find toilet that is 6 feet tall with exit pipe at least 1½ feet in diameter. Do not fall in.
10) Stock toilet with piranha. Baste Quran in beef drippings. Note: Do NOT use pork, as this would be sacrilegious
...swiped this from: http://www.ihatemycubicle.com/2005/06/this_one_is_for.html
