Now come on guys. Are you making your woman happy, or are you pissing her off big time. Use this guide to check out your rating.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies. Make women happy.
Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
SIMPLE DUTIES
*You make the bed............................. +1
*You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows... 0
*You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets......... -1
*You leave the toilet seat up................ -5
*You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty........... 0
*When the toilet roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.... -1
*When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..... -2
*You go out to buy her extra-tight panty liners with wings... +4
*In the snow....... +8
*But return with beer........ -5
*And no liners.............. -25
*You check out a suspicious noise at night............. 0
*You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing......... 0
*You check out a suspicious noise and it is something........ +5
*You pummel it with a six iron....... +10
*Its her cat........... -40
HER BIRTHDAY
*You take her out to dinner........... 0
*You take her out to dinner and it's a bar......... +1
*Okay it's a sports bar......... -2
*And it's all-you-can-eat night...... -3
*It's a sports bar, It's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team....... -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
*Go with a pal......................... +5
*The pal is happily married................ +4
*Or frighteningly single............... -7
*And he drives a Ferrarri............ -10
*With a personalised licence plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
*You take her to a movie............. +2
*You take her to a movie she likes......... +4
*You take her to a movie you hate....... +6
*You take her to a movie you like...... -2
*It's called Death Cop 3................. -3
*Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.............. -9
*You lied said it was a foreign film about orphans....... -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
*You develop a noticeable pot belly................. -15
*You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get rid of it....... +10
*You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts................. -30
*You say, "It doesnt matter, you have one too"....... -800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
*She asks, "Do I look fat?"
*You hesitate in responding............. -10
*You reply, "Where?"................. -35
*Any other response................. -20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
*You listen, displaying a concerned expression........... 0
*You listen, for over 30 minutes................. +5
*You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV........... +100
*She realises this is because you have fallen asleep...... -0
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies. Make women happy.
Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
SIMPLE DUTIES
*You make the bed............................. +1
*You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows... 0
*You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets......... -1
*You leave the toilet seat up................ -5
*You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty........... 0
*When the toilet roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.... -1
*When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..... -2
*You go out to buy her extra-tight panty liners with wings... +4
*In the snow....... +8
*But return with beer........ -5
*And no liners.............. -25
*You check out a suspicious noise at night............. 0
*You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing......... 0
*You check out a suspicious noise and it is something........ +5
*You pummel it with a six iron....... +10
*Its her cat........... -40
HER BIRTHDAY
*You take her out to dinner........... 0
*You take her out to dinner and it's a bar......... +1
*Okay it's a sports bar......... -2
*And it's all-you-can-eat night...... -3
*It's a sports bar, It's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team....... -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
*Go with a pal......................... +5
*The pal is happily married................ +4
*Or frighteningly single............... -7
*And he drives a Ferrarri............ -10
*With a personalised licence plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
*You take her to a movie............. +2
*You take her to a movie she likes......... +4
*You take her to a movie you hate....... +6
*You take her to a movie you like...... -2
*It's called Death Cop 3................. -3
*Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.............. -9
*You lied said it was a foreign film about orphans....... -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
*You develop a noticeable pot belly................. -15
*You develop a noticeable potbelly & exercise to get rid of it....... +10
*You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts................. -30
*You say, "It doesnt matter, you have one too"....... -800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
*She asks, "Do I look fat?"
*You hesitate in responding............. -10
*You reply, "Where?"................. -35
*Any other response................. -20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
*You listen, displaying a concerned expression........... 0
*You listen, for over 30 minutes................. +5
*You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV........... +100
*She realises this is because you have fallen asleep...... -0
