I wish I were much younger. I'd be rich now maybe. But, been on my own since 17, female, with a baby and a rotten husband. I ran off just to get out of that hell hole house, so I've always been a laborer, but a stupid one. I didn't save for the future. I lived pay check to pay check. Rent, food, bills. Just never saved enough and was too busy taking care of other peoples property to think of my own I needed to be saving up for.
Dumb. Just DUMB on my part.
And you are doing what SO many others do... talking yourself into hopelessness. It's so easy to do! It's much more difficult to believe in yourself and make your dream happen. Think about people who accomplish amazing feats that have never been done.... do you think they would have gotten there by telling themselves it's not possible? While they were struggling to accomplish the feat, wouldn't it have been much easier to tell themselves, it's okay to fail at this, no one expects you to finish? They have to overcome their self doubts.
I have a lady working for me right now... she is day manager at the bistro. She doesn't have a college education, she has worked most of her life in menial little shit jobs for not much more than minimum wage. When she came to work for me, I promised her she would eventually make more money than she's ever made in her life but to start, it would be long hours and little to no pay. She bought in to the dream. Six months later, sure enough, she is making more per week than ever in her life.
She and I were talking the other day and she confessed, she thought I was full of bullshit when I told her she'd be making more than ever before. Especially the first month or so when payroll was short. In order for us to pay the rest of the staff, she had to be left out. She said she would have quit under any other circumstance but she knew me, we've been friends for years. So, her believing in me made her stick with it through the tough period.
This is what I mean about attitude and mindset. You have to believe in yourself and be dedicated to making your dream come true. You have to believe you can make it come true. You might fail but that's okay, you might also find that your biggest obstacle was your own mind.