Have to speak candidly, I was assaulted by my wife and she was arrested. Advice please, even to those who disagree with me.

[BothWings]

You both obviously don't belong under the same roof right now. Whether you eventually do again and how long that takes is arbitrary and up to you two. But you need to separate for, at least for awhile. And I don't mean just for a week or two.

 

[shockedcanadian]

You both obviously don't belong under the same roof right now. Whether you eventually do again and how long that takes is arbitrary and up to you two. But you need to separate for, at least for awhile. And I don't mean just for a week or two.

I can tell you, she is safe while under the same roof as me, I am NOT when under the same roof as her.

 

[BothWings]

I can tell you, she is safe while under the same roof as me, I am NOT when under the same roof as her.

Well, that's not really the point. I wasn't accusing you of anything. Both of you just don't belong under the same roof. No one's questioning whether she is safe or not. She needs to be by herself if she can't handle being in a relationship right now. She doesn't need anything to set her off and you don't need to be the one setting her off whether it's your fault or not. Obviously she's a bomb right now. You need time away from each other.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Well, that's not really the point. I wasn't accusing you of anything. Both of you just don't belong under the same roof. No one's questioning whether she is safe or not. She needs to be by herself if she can't handle being in a relationship right now. She doesn't need anything to set her off and you don't need to be the one setting her off whether it's your fault or not. Obviously she's a bomb right now. You need time away from each other.

I'm still torn. Unlike her, I am far from my family, she is not.

 

[skye]

If your wife assaulted you OP, she has to be arrested.

That's all there is to it.

 

[Rocko]

If I put myself in your situation the first thing I do is hire a good lawyer

 

[skye]

Why that emoticon OP? why the wow emoticon?

 

[shockedcanadian]

Why that emoticon OP? why the wow emoticon?

I could have done this long ago, the problem is, she always threatened to paint ME as the aggressor. She did so this time to the point I was forced to call. When she came to pick up her stuff at my house from a self defense shove, I knew she was going to continue to lie through her teeth. I think she is desperate from her overspending.

This is the problem with such human beings, I kept holding on to the good years, but she has been evil for too long.

 

[BothWings]

I'm still torn. Unlike her, I am far from my family, she is not.

My wife and I have some.pretty hot bickering sessions but no physical violence ever, really. She threw my keys at me once! Ouch! Once she slapped my arm and I slapped her arm back. Retarded shit, really. Once the neighbors did call the cops. I almost couldn't blame them. We we're loud and it was Summer with the windows open. The cops were gone in less than 10 minutes and I think the neighbors felt stupid. Theirs is a bitch-heavy house and I think they thought they were heroes, conquering some terrible toxic male!

My wife and I have been together almost 15 years and there are plenty of good times...like today for instance. My wife is passive aggressive. She baits me and twists truth, adds and subtracts from the truth at her convenience. She should have been a lawyer. Outside parties, even other women are aware of her silly tactics, and many people would roll their eyes at it. I live with her, and my counter tactics have to be chosen carefully. I can't just roll my eyes. I have to play her game.

One thing I started doing when she starts her shit is yell loudly but coherently and not aggressively, "Get away from me! Leave me alone! Quit following me!". With the windows open it's pretty obvious who's bothering who. The neighbors haven't looked me in the eye since. The one time the cops came I was trying to get ready for work and trying to get OUT of the house. It was obvious even to them that she was instigating it even though it was MY angry voice that provoked the call.

As I said, we've been together 15 years, and if it had ever got much worse than that I probably would have chosen to spend some time away. I don't know what your situation is but I have a kid with her. I try to put him above it all when things get bad.

 

[Carl in Michigan]

It cost me nearly everything to cut all ties and it was worth every penny to rid myself of that bipolar, soul sucking, piece of shit

The person you chose to marry?

Now you want us to accept your political choices

 

[Dekster]

I won't lie to the court, honestly I don't need to. SHE may need to, but I won't. Some of the chat on here has woken me up a bit, though I am still very torn.

At what point will you not be torn when you have to make that call? Sounds to me like you are on the path already--further down the road than you would like to admit. I am on the board of a shelter program. We have a few different types of shelters. We encounter this all the time (but usually from the woman's side). At the point things are becoming physical, one or the other of you needs to decide to end your marriage. It is just a matter of one of you getting to that point in the road before it ends with death/serious injury or imprisonment.

 

[occupied]

The person you chose to marry?

Now you want us to accept your political choices

I don't want anything from you.

 

[Michelle420]

I could have done this long ago, the problem is, she always threatened to paint ME as the aggressor. She did so this time to the point I was forced to call. When she came to pick up her stuff at my house from a self defense shove, I knew she was going to continue to lie through her teeth. I think she is desperate from her overspending.

This is the problem with such human beings, I kept holding on to the good years, but she has been evil for too long.

Johnny Depp has helped move forward that we need to help abused men from psychotic women.

 

[petro]

This sounds like it is a relationship that has already ended long ago.
No reason to put up with being miserable in a toxic relationship with the chance of further escalation.
Once this point is reached there is no possibility of saving the marriage.

 

[skye]

This sounds like it is a relationship that has already ended long ago.
No reason to put up with being miserable in a toxic relationship with the chance of further escalation.
Once this point is reached there is no possibility of saving the marriage.

Agree with your statement!

Better don't be a coward, just leave!

 

[BothWings]

I'm still torn. Unlike her, I am far from my family, she is not.

I am 5hrs from my closest family members. The next closest ones are 600 miles away, and only one of them there is really close to me. However my wife's closest relatives are nearly 4,000 miles from us!

 

[skye]

Johnny Depp has helped move forward that we need to help abused men from psychotic women.

You got it! thank you for posting!

 

[Man of Ethics]

1) As I have mentioned many times here, in USA the legal system is extremely discriminatory toward men. Oppression of men based on gender is the only overtly acceptable form of oppression in Modern Western World.

2) Your situation requires help of a sympathetic legal expert. Not being a legal expert I have no other advice. Any advice from a non-expert is likely to be harmful.

3) If you can not escape this relationship, the situation will become much worse.

 

[Man of Ethics]

I may be brave in theory, but I myself would have broken down under such abuse. Only an expert can help you escape from this situation.

 

[shockedcanadian]

I may be brave in theory, but I myself would have broken down under such abuse. Only an expert can help you escape from this situation.

I've been there a few times, I tried to stay strong by at least verbally standing up for myself. She definitely made me a more heigtened person, using the F word more often etc as she would rile me up often. She learned which buttons to push (such as calling me a pedophlle for example).

Here is another concern I have as I think back all of our interactions. She had to go to the doctors for some physical issue, I don't remember which specifically as she has had so many. Anyways, she told me the doctor asked her "were you pushed down the stairs by someone?"

She told me she laughed and said "no, but I'm sure my husband would like to".

When we were in one of our many arguments she said, "I should have lied to the doctor and told him you pushed me".

She says so many crazy outlandish things that I just brushed it off. But now with whats happened...