Have to speak candidly, I was assaulted by my wife and she was arrested. Advice please, even to those who disagree with me.

[shockedcanadian]

No but you seem clearly codependent. You knew she had these problems and you signed up. And now you want to blame God for it, even comparing yourself to Job (!!!).

Really?

My life definitely has some Job comparisons. I am not comparing our stories exactly, but I did NOT sign up for physical and verbal abuse that increased over time. I am loyal, I want to be someone who helps and heals another, I tried to have Faith and be optimistic, but I am not going to be blamed for her actions. It's absurd actually, especially since I saw how she treated her dad.

 

[surada]

My life definitely has some Job comparisons. I am not comparing our stories exactly, but I did NOT sign up for physical and verbal abuse that increased over time. I am loyal, I want to be someone who helps and heals another, I tried to have Faith and be optimistic, but I am not going to be blamed for her actions. It's absurd actually, especially since I saw how she treated her dad.

Did she mistreat her father?

 

[shockedcanadian]

Did she mistreat her father?

Yes. To a lesser degree than she treated me but yes. They would both argue back and forth and he almost left a couple of times due to the arguing and horrible names she would call! him, he didn't back down from her.

 

[presonorek]

If I get charged it's because of her following through on her threats she has made for years, documented by the way. I called because I had reached the end of my rope though realizing she would probably abuse her position as a woman, with assistance by the police.

You are suggesting that I should simply accept her lies and abuses and not defend the truth? How would my lawyer defending the truth on my behalf be worse than her lawyer lying on her behalf?

My comment in the prior post wasn't translated properly, I meant to say in essence "I will not bear False Witness and will not allow her to either".

I didn't want this situation, I've tried to avoid it for years at great personal peril.

I would have agreed with you a year ago. If you want to mock me at least prepare yourself emotionally for a loss. A lawyer can defend a guilty person. They cannot defend an innocent person. If there are lies involved you are done for. Plead no contest if you don't want to lie. You should avoid court like the plague at all cost. When I say at all costs most times those costs are extremely high. A lying female always wins.

 

[Man of Ethics]

The truth, that is all. Like Elon Musk.

I want her to get help, she is my wife. If we can't work it out I will accept that, but I have to try. It will make it difficult once diabolical forces are involved.

She does not need help.

If I was giving her advice, I would advice her to marry a Russian man under Russian jurisdiction.

You must escape. None of the abuse is your fault. The system is extremely unfair.

 

[Vastator]

I have invested too many years and tears. Maybe when I rebuild my confidence with work etc I can consider this. It's a difficult position that I am in though I am starting to come around to understanding the situation especially with the way she reacted after attacking ME!

God is important, but he can also guide me to do what is proper.

Sunk cost fallacy...

 

[Man of Ethics]

If I get charged it's because of her following through on her threats she has made for years, documented by the way. I called because I had reached the end of my rope though realizing she would probably abuse her position as a woman, with assistance by the police.

You are suggesting that I should simply accept her lies and abuses and not defend the truth? How would my lawyer defending the truth on my behalf be worse than her lawyer lying on her behalf?

My comment in the prior post wasn't translated properly, I meant to say in essence "I will not bear False Witness and will not allow her to either".

I didn't want this situation, I've tried to avoid it for years at great personal peril.

Sadly in Modern Western World, the Laws are extremely biased against men. I have been posting about it for a long time, but most people either ignore me or laugh at me.

 

[Vastator]

Never marry in the West...

 

[Man of Ethics]

Never marry in the West...

Not all women are abusers.

But the Western Laws give any woman a potential to destroy her partner's life. Modern man in marriage has a legal status of a serf. I have mentioned it many times, but most people laugh at me or ignore me.

 

[Vastator]

Not all women are abusers.

But the Western Laws give any woman a potential to destroy her partner's life. Modern man in marriage has a legal status of a serf. I have mentioned it many times, but most people laugh at me or ignore me.

Indeed. Divorce laws, and family courts are structured such that the dissolution of marriage is extremely punitive to the husband/father. Religious reasons aside, there is no reason, or benefit for a man to get married in the West. It's 100% risk, with no added benefit, or reward. The best 200 bucks I ever spent was when my son was thinking of proposing to his girlfriend. I set my son up with an appointment to talk to my buddies divorce lawyer. Paid the guy to give my son the rundown on exactly what someone like him would do, and does when a woman takes her husband to court. He quickly lost the urge to propose. Turns out she had been cheating on him throughout their relationship, and left him when he made it clear he wasn't going to marry. He dodge a bullet for sure. Still the best 200 bucks I ever spent.

 

[SweetSue92]

Indeed. Divorce laws, and family courts are structured such that the dissolution of marriage is extremely punitive to the husband/father. Religious reasons aside, there is no reason, or benefit for a man to get married in the West. It's 100% risk, with no added benefit, or reward. The best 200 bucks I ever spent was when my son was thinking of proposing to his girlfriend. I set my son up with an appointment to talk to my buddies divorce lawyer. Paid the guy to give my son the rundown on exactly what someone like him would do, and does when a woman takes her husband to court. He quickly lost the urge to propose. Turns out she had been cheating on him throughout their relationship, and left him when he made it clear he wasn't going to marry. He dodge a bullet for sure. Still the best 200 bucks I ever spent.

Did you know she was no good for him?

Would you have done that if she was?

This is a very dim view of the situation, all in all. A man flourishes in a happy marriage, in every way. Saying "there is no reason or benefit for a man to get married in the West" is ridiculous hyperbole.

 

[Vastator]

Did you know she was no good for him?

Would you have done that if she was?

This is a very dim view of the situation, all in all. A man flourishes in a happy marriage, in every way. Saying "there is no reason or benefit for a man to get married in the West" is ridiculous hyperbole.

Unfortunately it is the way it is. Once the State got involved in marriage, it is no longer a union between a man, and a woman. It is a union between a man, a woman, and the State. There is nothing hyperbolic about it. And "yes", I knew she was not what she had my son fooled into believing she was.

 

[SweetSue92]

Unfortunately it is the way it is. Once the State got involved in marriage, it is no longer a union between a man, and a woman. It is a union between a man, a woman, and the State. There is nothing hyperbolic about it. And "yes", I knew she was not what she had my son fooled into believing she was.

My parents are very happily married....56 years.

My husband and myself, 28 years.

But according to you, we would be happier single I guess. Which is ridiculous.

 

[Vastator]

My parents are very happily married....56 years.

My husband and myself, 28 years.

But according to you, we would be happier single I guess. Which is ridiculous.

Absolutely not what I said. I never once broached the topic of happiness.

 

[Man of Ethics]

My parents are very happily married....56 years.

My husband and myself, 28 years.

But according to you, we would be happier single I guess. Which is ridiculous.

Good luck to you!

Of course marriage to a good partner is one of best events in anyone's life.

Sadly a marriage to an abuser can be devastating. For male victims of abuse, the situation is much worse as the Laws are on the side of his abuser.

 

[SweetSue92]

Absolutely not what I said. I never once broached the topic of happiness.

You said "there is no reason for a man to get married in the West"

So.

Are you proposing that all our children be raised in unmarried homes?

Or that men stop procreating?

 

[SweetSue92]

Good luck to you!

Of course marriage to a good partner is one of best events in anyone's life.

Sadly a marriage to an abuser can be devastating. For male victims of abuse, the situation is much worse as the Laws are on the side of his abuser.

Of course this is true. A good marriage can be the bedrock of your life and a source of peace and joy. A bad marriage can destroy a person. That's why I pray constantly for my own children to find the RIGHT person and the right time.

 

[Vastator]

You said "there is no reason for a man to get married in the West"

So.

Are you proposing that all our children be raised in unmarried homes?

Or that men stop procreating?

Neither.

 

[Man of Ethics]

Of course this is true. A good marriage can be the bedrock of your life and a source of peace and joy. A bad marriage can destroy a person. That's why I pray constantly for my own children to find the RIGHT person and the right time.

Best luck!

 

[Vastator]

Someone sell it to me. Sell me on the idea, of what as a man, benefits said man by getting "legally" married in the West. What benefits, and sureties does said "legal" marriage provide to the man, that cannot otherwise be achieved..? Don't worry... Ill wait...