Have to speak candidly, I was assaulted by my wife and she was arrested. Advice please, even to those who disagree with me.

[shockedcanadian]

So I find out that three weeks later my wife still has a sling on her arm. From a push while trying to get her away after she assaulted me! Also, a company hired me for work, sent me an acceptance greeting, then the police check came back, I have no record, but suddenly they 're "updating the welcome package .pdf", this has gone on for longer than a week. Does a police check include "pennding charges"? I am depressed and angry at the same time. The apparatuses in this country have been dishonest and have kept us decades behind the rest of the West.

Why do you like that comment Man Of Ethics, this is not good news, it's evil.

 

[beautress]

We've both been under a great deal of stress of late, she has been worse due to her gambling addiction, The assaults against me have been going on for years and even though she warned me a number of times if I ever called the police that she would accuse me of beating her, I was forced to call them this time.

I don't want her charged as I believe even after so many attacks on me over the years that, "I married her and took a vow to God" and I try to see it through (my grandfather was the same way). The police said that they are now mandated to charge someone with assault even if they just break a phone!

Due to her extreme reaction when I pushed her away, giving myself some space as I didn't want to be punched by her, I am weary of the aftermath as she came by to pick up her stuff, with police escort and her arm was in a sling. How is it possible for her to be in a sling when all I did was push her?

She stated to the cops that I damaged her arm when they came, but it seems REALLY far-fetched and she attacked me twice while I was lying passively on the couch. Unless it is just inflammation, my suspicions will be firm that it was a screw job at the hospital. There is no way I dislocated her arm for instance, not even if I punched someone am I that strong.

It's ironic too, because after I pushed her away from me, she went around into the kitchen and blocked my way to leaving for downstairs to get away from the situation. She threw a utensil at me and used TWO arms to stab me hard with her cane, which lead to pain to this day (it happened Thurs).

She did not want me to call and pulled the phone out so that I had to recall.

What would one do if the police decide that i am the aggressor and charge me? I am in our home, she is removed. With my bad experienced with the covert ops here, I am never calm even when I know I am in the right,

I'm putting you on my prayer list, shockedcanadian. You married a terminal control freak, and a liar who will go all out to put you behind bars and sell all your assets. You need to line up people who know what you've been through, and I hope one of them is a stable married woman who knows of your situation. You better get the best lawyer you can afford to get you out of your melee, because you will receive truly bad results if you don't. Try and find out when she received a dislocated arm. Somebody knows and hopefully will speak in your behalf. I wouldn't count on a reconciliation, because control freaks always go for the gold, and anyone who gets in their way has a 50% chance of being accused of everything from child molestation to an old injury acquired in a different time parameter, so hopefully you have kept astute records of health insurances that are backed up with the truth. Your chances of going to jail are terrible, but control freaks will do what it takes if they can get away with getting pity from a jury. Do you know anyone else she has lied about in an obsessive way? Take some notes and back up your claims with witnesses who know you would never lift a hand against a loved one. Even if your chances land you behind bars for a few years, I hope friends who know you will testify about her propensity to beat up on others who don't deserve to be lied about. Call your church pastor if you have one. I have a friend whose abusive wife used her children to lie that he had sexually abused them at an early age. He spent 5 years of unspeakable abuse by inmates and jailers who hated the thought of child abusers, for which he was convicted in a court of law. I think Northwestern University found that 16% of inmates in jails did not commit the crime they were accused of. Do you remember the McMartin Child Care scandal that kept one of their employees in jail for years for abusing their child who was frightened into lying for her accusatory mother who had some kind of mental illness, ?schizophrenia? Here's a start to understand false allegations are frequently made by the deranged and greedy: What You Need to Know About the McMartin Case | California CACI Removal Lawyer

Northwestern University checked DNA in a number of cases wherein the convicted seemed innocent to some people. Their research concluded that 16% of the people behind bars for sexual abuse did not commit the crime they were convicted of before DNA became a method of determining whether or not the accused actually did the crime he was accused of. These were people who had served many years in jail due to false witness whether on purpose or circumstantial failure to identify the real perpetrator of the sex crime. Be prepared, SC. Control Freaks do all they can to win, including lie, cheat, steal, exaggerate and planting false evidence and using other false witnesses who fortunately back when could not pass a lie detector test, which have been shown to have frequent fails. I don't want to see anyone go to jail for something they didn't do. Jail simply doesn't make the victim of a liar fail to be bitter unless they forgive a liar. That is not easy to do from my observation of a good man who was so accused. He lost his home, his total trucking business, which was sold and given to his ex, and he has to visit an officer of the court who will ask embarrassing questions for the rest of his life into his 80s. His children that were forced to lie by their mother can't remember any molestations, but are confused people because their mother dumped them after she was compensated with multiple benefits for getting them to lie in court. They're scared to recant lest they wind up in jail for the crime of sending an innocent man to jail for something he never even considered doing. He lost all his friends, his mother disinherited him even though he continued to be the dutiful son he had always been before. While he was in jail, his jailers tortured him for refusing to admit to the crime he didn't commit, because he was a Marine, and they are taught to not lie and to be faithful to others for life. He said his life would have been better in jail if he had admitted to doing the crime he didn't commit. His children were frightened into never talking about his innocence by their estranged mother. (She dumped them and both were placed into an orphanage where she regularly threatened to have them sent to jail for other "crimes" they didn't commit, either), and the counsellors of the orphanage treated them for abuse they were afraid to deny because of their mother's warnings. She moved out of state and didn't visit the son and the daughter she forced to confess that their father had molested both of them. Both of them confided in me that they were not molested by him, not even once. They tell him they can't clear his name because they are of being charged with perjury. They don't understand why their dad is so disappointed in them, even though they have told a number of his friends he didn't do anything bad to them, he was innocent, and he has forgiven them even though they won't free him of the life they forced on him by doing what their control freak mother told them to do. The state has a law to never let a convicted child abuser stop paying for his alleged crime that was induced with no evidence whatever, and the children involved were coached with no exceptions except to continue on with the charade that made their mom a rich woman and their dad an object of scorn for the duration of his life, if he lives to be 100.

As I said, SC, tell your situation to a pastor, because control freaks will never admit their lies to anyone, because the assets and the pity are their idea of heaven in exchange for a false case witness, and the little lies that brought public outrage against an adversary they destroyed.

 

[shockedcanadian]

I'm putting you on my prayer list, shockedcanadian. You married a terminal control freak, and a liar who will go all out to put you behind bars and sell all your assets. You need to line up people who know what you've been through, and I hope one of them is a stable married woman who knows of your situation. You better get the best lawyer you can afford to get you out of your melee, because you will receive truly bad results if you don't. Try and find out when she received a dislocated arm. Somebody knows and hopefully will speak in your behalf. I wouldn't count on a reconciliation, because control freaks always go for the gold, and anyone who gets in their way has a 50% chance of being accused of everything from child molestation to an old injury acquired in a different time parameter, so hopefully you have kept astute records of health insurances that are backed up with the truth. Your chances of going to jail are terrible, but control freaks will do what it takes if they can get away with getting pity from a jury. Do you know anyone else she has lied about in an obsessive way? Take some notes and back up your claims with witnesses who know you would never lift a hand against a loved one. Even if your chances land you behind bars for a few years, I hope friends who know you will testify about her propensity to beat up on others who don't deserve to be lied about. Call your church pastor if you have one. I have a friend whose abusive wife used her children to lie that he had sexually abused them at an early age. He spent 5 years of unspeakable abuse by inmates and jailers who hated the thought of child abusers, for which he was convicted in a court of law. I think Northwestern University found that 16% of inmates in jails did not commit the crime they were accused of. Do you remember the McMartin Child Care scandal that kept one of their employees in jail for years for abusing their child who was frightened into lying for her accusatory mother who had some kind of mental illness, ?schizophrenia? Here's a start to understand false allegations are frequently made by the deranged and greedy: What You Need to Know About the McMartin Case | California CACI Removal Lawyer

Northwestern University checked DNA in a number of cases wherein the convicted seemed innocent to some people. Their research concluded that 16% of the people behind bars for sexual abuse did not commit the crime they were convicted of before DNA became a method of determining whether or not the accused actually did the crime he was accused of. These were people who had served many years in jail due to false witness whether on purpose or circumstantial failure to identify the real perpetrator of the sex crime. Be prepared, SC. Control Freaks do all they can to win, including lie, cheat, steal, exaggerate and planting false evidence and using other false witnesses who fortunately back when could not pass a lie detector test, which have been shown to have frequent fails. I don't want to see anyone go to jail for something they didn't do. Jail simply doesn't make the victim of a liar fail to be bitter unless they forgive a liar. That is not easy to do from my observation of a good man who was so accused. He lost his home, his total trucking business, which was sold and given to his ex, and he has to visit an officer of the court who will ask embarrassing questions for the rest of his life into his 80s. His children that were forced to lie by their mother can't remember any molestations, but are confused people because their mother dumped them after she was compensated with multiple benefits for getting them to lie in court. They're scared to recant lest they wind up in jail for the crime of sending an innocent man to jail for something he never even considered doing. He lost all his friends, his mother disinherited him even though he continued to be the dutiful son he had always been before. While he was in jail, his jailers tortured him for refusing to admit to the crime he didn't commit, because he was a Marine, and they are taught to not lie and to be faithful to others for life. He said his life would have been better in jail if he had admitted to doing the crime he didn't commit. His children were frightened into never talking about his innocence by their estranged mother. (She dumped them and both were placed into an orphanage where she regularly threatened to have them sent to jail for other "crimes" they didn't commit, either), and the counsellors of the orphanage treated them for abuse they were afraid to deny because of their mother's warnings. She moved out of state and didn't visit the son and the daughter she forced to confess that their father had molested both of them. Both of them confided in me that they were not molested by him, not even once. They tell him they can't clear his name because they are of being charged with perjury. They don't understand why their dad is so disappointed in them, even though they have told a number of his friends he didn't do anything bad to them, he was innocent, and he has forgiven them even though they won't free him of the life they forced on him by doing what their control freak mother told them to do. The state has a law to never let a convicted child abuser stop paying for his alleged crime that was induced with no evidence whatever, and the children involved were coached with no exceptions except to continue on with the charade that made their mom a rich woman and their dad an object of scorn for the duration of his life, if he lives to be 100.

As I said, SC, tell your situation to a pastor, because control freaks will never admit their lies to anyone, because the assets and the pity are their idea of heaven in exchange for a false case witness, and the little lies that brought public outrage against an adversary they destroyed.

Now you are frightening me. Why make my anxiety worse? One concern I have is the police working to help her, a month later and still no charge or court date?

Something is amiss, they are giving her time to build a fake case against me I fear. I hope I am wrong because even if we don't work out, for all the abuse I have suffered from her, I never wanted her to even be charged, however, I certainly don't want to be charged. I am the one who made the call and she is the one who unplugged our phone!

This is why I wanted this dealt with quickly, so we can decide to move on or whathave you, I have been in limbo in a country where Access to Justice is the worst in the G20.

 

[shockedcanadian]

I'm putting you on my prayer list, shockedcanadian. You married a terminal control freak, and a liar who will go all out to put you behind bars and sell all your assets. You need to line up people who know what you've been through, and I hope one of them is a stable married woman who knows of your situation. You better get the best lawyer you can afford to get you out of your melee, because you will receive truly bad results if you don't. Try and find out when she received a dislocated arm. Somebody knows and hopefully will speak in your behalf. I wouldn't count on a reconciliation, because control freaks always go for the gold, and anyone who gets in their way has a 50% chance of being accused of everything from child molestation to an old injury acquired in a different time parameter, so hopefully you have kept astute records of health insurances that are backed up with the truth. Your chances of going to jail are terrible, but control freaks will do what it takes if they can get away with getting pity from a jury. Do you know anyone else she has lied about in an obsessive way? Take some notes and back up your claims with witnesses who know you would never lift a hand against a loved one. Even if your chances land you behind bars for a few years, I hope friends who know you will testify about her propensity to beat up on others who don't deserve to be lied about. Call your church pastor if you have one. I have a friend whose abusive wife used her children to lie that he had sexually abused them at an early age. He spent 5 years of unspeakable abuse by inmates and jailers who hated the thought of child abusers, for which he was convicted in a court of law. I think Northwestern University found that 16% of inmates in jails did not commit the crime they were accused of. Do you remember the McMartin Child Care scandal that kept one of their employees in jail for years for abusing their child who was frightened into lying for her accusatory mother who had some kind of mental illness, ?schizophrenia? Here's a start to understand false allegations are frequently made by the deranged and greedy: What You Need to Know About the McMartin Case | California CACI Removal Lawyer

Northwestern University checked DNA in a number of cases wherein the convicted seemed innocent to some people. Their research concluded that 16% of the people behind bars for sexual abuse did not commit the crime they were convicted of before DNA became a method of determining whether or not the accused actually did the crime he was accused of. These were people who had served many years in jail due to false witness whether on purpose or circumstantial failure to identify the real perpetrator of the sex crime. Be prepared, SC. Control Freaks do all they can to win, including lie, cheat, steal, exaggerate and planting false evidence and using other false witnesses who fortunately back when could not pass a lie detector test, which have been shown to have frequent fails. I don't want to see anyone go to jail for something they didn't do. Jail simply doesn't make the victim of a liar fail to be bitter unless they forgive a liar. That is not easy to do from my observation of a good man who was so accused. He lost his home, his total trucking business, which was sold and given to his ex, and he has to visit an officer of the court who will ask embarrassing questions for the rest of his life into his 80s. His children that were forced to lie by their mother can't remember any molestations, but are confused people because their mother dumped them after she was compensated with multiple benefits for getting them to lie in court. They're scared to recant lest they wind up in jail for the crime of sending an innocent man to jail for something he never even considered doing. He lost all his friends, his mother disinherited him even though he continued to be the dutiful son he had always been before. While he was in jail, his jailers tortured him for refusing to admit to the crime he didn't commit, because he was a Marine, and they are taught to not lie and to be faithful to others for life. He said his life would have been better in jail if he had admitted to doing the crime he didn't commit. His children were frightened into never talking about his innocence by their estranged mother. (She dumped them and both were placed into an orphanage where she regularly threatened to have them sent to jail for other "crimes" they didn't commit, either), and the counsellors of the orphanage treated them for abuse they were afraid to deny because of their mother's warnings. She moved out of state and didn't visit the son and the daughter she forced to confess that their father had molested both of them. Both of them confided in me that they were not molested by him, not even once. They tell him they can't clear his name because they are of being charged with perjury. They don't understand why their dad is so disappointed in them, even though they have told a number of his friends he didn't do anything bad to them, he was innocent, and he has forgiven them even though they won't free him of the life they forced on him by doing what their control freak mother told them to do. The state has a law to never let a convicted child abuser stop paying for his alleged crime that was induced with no evidence whatever, and the children involved were coached with no exceptions except to continue on with the charade that made their mom a rich woman and their dad an object of scorn for the duration of his life, if he lives to be 100.

As I said, SC, tell your situation to a pastor, because control freaks will never admit their lies to anyone, because the assets and the pity are their idea of heaven in exchange for a false case witness, and the little lies that brought public outrage against an adversary they destroyed.

In addition to this, I spoke to a lawyer who advised not to be ckncerned with the police charging me. She is also the second lawyer who said she wouod represent me if I face false allegstions or trumped upecidence by her. Thjis after tellling her some of the details. It is a bit comforting. I don't want my wife tombe hurt, bit neither do I wish to be tarnished unfairly.

 

[JoeC]

I've got one question. Do you stand or squat when you pee?

 

[JoeC]

Those are two possibilities. Or actually go there. Not sure the import idea is really going to mitigate the predatory nature of divorce/family courts. Again. Sell it to me. Keep in mind "Marriage" is a three way legal contract. We know what the State gets. We know what the woman gets. What does the man get? Who signs a contract that confers no benefit to one's self? Only a fool.

Truer words have not been spoken. The attack on masculinity cannot be denied. Although I am content in my marriage. I have seen the devastation a woman can bring on a man simply because he is a man and she wants out. It is truly evil. A man is always guilty even after proven innocent. If I were a young man in today's world, marriage would be far down the list of things to do.Blame radical feminism not the man.

 

[Circe]

You have to leave this relationship, you know. It's bad for anyone to live with toxic, dangerous people. I'm sorry to hear this, ShockedCanadian --- you've been a good poster here, IMO.

Usually it's men doing the beatings of women, and feminists now 100% agree that the first time he hits, you must get rid of him, then, for good. Sleeping with the enemy is pretty stupid when the whole point of marriage is a partnership against the dangers of the world. If the other IS the danger, how much sense does that make? None.

I knew a guy who wouldn't talk about the issues his wife wanted to argue about and he locked himself in the bedroom. So she chopped the door down with an axe. Now there really is a good situation for some police charges!

 

[Man of Ethics]

Truer words have not been spoken. The attack on masculinity cannot be denied. Although I am content in my marriage. I have seen the devastation a woman can bring on a man simply because he is a man and she wants out. It is truly evil. A man is always guilty even after proven innocent. If I were a young man in today's world, marriage would be far down the list of things to do. Blame radical feminism not the man.

As I have mentioned many times, men are the only birth group in Modern Western World against whom overt discrimination is acceptable and fashionable.

 

[shockedcanadian]

I am working with the courts to minimize her punishment. I even told one.of the victim assistants to NOT mention details of the past assauilts against me as I don't want her to be severely punished. I ama forgiving human being. Forgiven many who have abused me in my life, some, even though it was not so easy. Having a heavy heart would only hurt me as well and I don't want another burden to carry.

 

[Man of Ethics]

I am working with the courts to minimize her punishment. I even told one.of the victim assistants to NOT mention details of the past assauilts against me as I don't want her to be severely punished. I ama forgiving human being. Forgiven many who have abused me in my life, some, even though it was not so easy. Having a heavy heart would only hurt me as well and I don't want another burden to carry.

I understand that escaping from an abusive relationship is very difficult. But you must!

 

[shockedcanadian]

I understand that escaping from an abusive relationship is very difficult. But you must!

Please help me, I feel so guilty. I've had a horrible life and she was the one constant that I could rely on to at least be there for me. Yes, she was abusive, but, she also was by my side when I went to the hospital ( I was there for her as well). This entire process has been hell for me, I feel victimized every day.

 

[AZrailwhale]

Please help me, I feel so guilty. I've had a horrible life and she was the one constant that I could rely on to at least be there for me. Yes, she was abusive, but, she also was by my side when I went to the hospital ( I was there for her as well). This entire process has been hell for me, I feel victimized every day.

You are enabling her actions. You need to stop feeling guilty, she has been using you for you’re entire marriage.

 

[Foxfyre]

Please help me, I feel so guilty. I've had a horrible life and she was the one constant that I could rely on to at least be there for me. Yes, she was abusive, but, she also was by my side when I went to the hospital ( I was there for her as well). This entire process has been hell for me, I feel victimiz

ed every day.

I am speaking as a person who has not witnessed any of your situation and I have not met any if the parties involved. But I am speaking as someone who has been trained in these sorts of situations and knows something about it. So take this as advice from somebody who does not know your situation but does know of many others who have had similar experiences.

Pretending or hoping that the addict, the abuser, the psychopathically compulsive anything will get better if you just wait it out, if you just say the right thing, if you can just figure out how not to trigger it etc. is almost always a total exercise in futility.

It is almost never the person closest to people afflicted with these kinds of behavior who can help them. We are too emotionally involved, too close to the situation to see what is actually happening. We are too often unable to see how we contribute to it or how it is affecting us and/or the other person.

All people afflicted with these conditions are almost always capable of dishonesty, manipulation, deviousness, and yes abusiveness toward anybody who calls them out or gets in their way. It can change form from time to time but almost never gets better on its own, usually progresses, can become dangerous for the person and/or others.

You are not helping your wife trying to handle this yourself. Get to a good addiction counselor yourself--you don't need to tell your wife you're going--and listen to what this person tells you. If you can't bring yourself to do that go to a Gamblers Anonymous group--many meetings--and listen and learn.

 

[Man of Ethics]

Please help me, I feel so guilty. I've had a horrible life and she was the one constant that I could rely on to at least be there for me. Yes, she was abusive, but, she also was by my side when I went to the hospital ( I was there for her as well). This entire process has been hell for me, I feel victimized every day.

It is natural for any abuse victim to have positive feelings toward their abuser. 99 people out of 100 would break down under a unique load of difficulty -- being abused and knowing that the Law of the Land are on the abuser's side.

Given that she is an abuser, you do not owe her anything. You should definitely not feel guilty. You must leave.

 

[shockedcanadian]

It is natural for any abuse victim to have positive feelings toward their abuser. 99 people out of 100 would break down under a unique load of difficulty -- being abused and knowing that the Law of the Land are on the abuser's side.

Given that she is an abuser, you do not owe her anything. You should definitely not feel guilty. You must leave.

Any lawyers on here? She requested and has received a pre-trial. Any idea what this could mean?

 

[Man of Ethics]

Any lawyers on here? She requested and has received a pre-trial. Any idea what this could mean?

I wish you the best. I am not a lawyer.

 

[Circe]

addiction is addition...she is not going to stop gambling and she is not gonna stop the physical and mental abuse...she is outta the house..keep her out and sue her ass for desertion ...lawyer up now

What she says. What are you doing living with an enemy?? You know, people, if you realize the person you are living with dislikes or hates you, you are supposed to leave or get that person to leave. This is self-care 101.

 

[shockedcanadian]

What she says. What are you doing living with an enemy?? You know, people, if you realize the person you are living with dislikes or hates you, you are supposed to leave or get that person to leave. This is self-care 101.

Yes. This is the probable outcome. I just need to see her court case through and then I will have to beg to God for the right answer. The court case has slowed down my initiative and caused more stress as I try and balance the situation of beng a loyal husband and also a victim over a number of years. The risks of remaining married are too high, she might kill me one day if we don't go our own way. I'm convinced some of my current health issues are related to her physical abuse and the arguing (head rushes for instance). I am by natured a relaxed man. She stressed me out immensely for a long time, I can't deny this.

 

[shockedcanadian]

My wifes case is essentially over. With my help (I believe), her consequences are minimal. Now what do I do? I feel as alone as ever...

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

She assaulted you.

She's a danger.

Have the judge order her out of the house immediately.