A1. The reason I believe that both sides are right IN SOME CASES with their beliefs
a. I know some people for whom being gay or transgender is natural for them and is who they are spiritually
b. I know some people and/or know of many others for whom being gay or transgender turned out NOT to be natural for them, but causes unnaturally by abusive situations, and when they were healed of these conditions then they no longer experienced or identified with gay or transgender but report being naturally heterosexual/cisgender
OK, thank you. I think that what it comes down to is that some people are more comfortable with their sexuality and gender identity. And, those who are less comfortable with it should receive appropriate guidance and support in order to help them find their way but not to point them in any particular direction.
I don't know what your experience is with people who suffered trauma is, but I need to be convinced that any substantial number- at for that matter any at all, became gay or trans as a result. In any case you need to make a clearer distinction between healing from any trauma a person might have suffered, healing in relation to sexuality, the latter of which I have a problem with because it assigns a disease model to their sexuality
Thank you for such an intelligent and astute reply.
The same way you focus on this as sexuality and someone's comfort with that,
the people I know who have counseled and healed abuse victims
approach it as spiritual. Some people are not comfortable with that either, that's not
their experience or way either!
One approach should not be imposed on the other.
If you see it as sexual for you, that's your focus.
I know a lot of other people looking at the spiritual process going on,
and trying to reconcile on that level.
As for cases of people who "became" gay or trans because of unnatural
influences, no, they didn't "become" that way but felt those impulses.
A nontheistic minded secular thinker doesn't always "become" atheist,
some are just that way by their nature, but some people do express
"losing faith" or relating more to atheist approaches than to religious language and culture.
A friend of mine who was "worried" he was transgender, he was getting
impulses and signals that he was inclined more toward female and rejecting
his male physicality went through spiritual prayer and reconciliation
and decided he was comfortable being male, unlike his father who had transitioned to female.
So those impulses didn't "make him transgender and then he changed back"
the point is to distinguish what is the real person's nature and what is
an impulse or influence that is not natural for that person.
In the case of Chirlane Blasio, she USED to identify as Lesbian.
But in meeting the love of her life, she has a happy heterosexual marriage relationship
that she feels is spiritually whole and they are meant to be soulmates.
Does that mean she "changed" from homosexual to heterosexual?
My friend Olivia counseled a lesbian woman she described as having
abused other people sexually because she was abused first. The way
she worked with this woman through the healing process, is that in order
for these others to forgive her, she had to forgive the person who abused her, too!
So that's how they worked through the abuse first, and then the healing,
so the woman could restore what she normally would be like BEFORE any such abuse occurred.
A different member on here posted
www.peoplecanchange.com
the best description of the healing process I have found is
through Drs. Francis and Judith MacNutt:
How To Defeat Homosexual Activists 101 A Real Education
What makes their approach to counseling so different and so effective,
they recognize it doesn't apply to everyone the same.
the people MOST uncomfortable with this are either
* people who see it spiritually and cannot see how this
doesn't apply to all people who see it sexually or other ways
* people who see it as sexual identity only and cannot
see how spiritual healing or process has anything to do with it either
TheProgressivePatriot My friends who see all human relations
as spiritually based first, even their marriages and people they love personally,
often do not understand secular approaches that seem like foreign beliefs.
Instead of blaming each other for not being comfortable with the other side's approach,
I take the first step as accepting the fact we see and believe things differently,
the brains and mindset of secular and atheist types are going to be "set up"
differently than people who think in terms of spiritual or religious type terms or language.
Govt is not supposed to be in the business of deciding these things for people.
But we the people, as individuals, DO have freedom to talk and work things out on our own.
That's why I seek to reach understanding on points of agreement
across the board, with people like you seeing it one way and people who DON'T see it that way.
Isn't it the duty and principle of govt as public law to
accommodate people of BOTH beliefs or approaches
and neither impose or establish, prohibit or deny,
any of these beliefs?
To me that's a HUGE sign that govt is overstepping bounds
and getting involved in a personal matter of free choice,
when people's beliefs are so engrained they cannot agree.
That's a good indicator that such social policies and decisions
ARE supposed to be free choice of that individual and not infringed upon!
so that's why we need to make sure govt is not abused either way.
(and that gets into the A2 issue of how do we use govt
properly to PROTECT free choice without unfair discrimination
but NOT go TOO FAR where govt ESTABLISHES a bias.
How do we ensure equal protection but without govt overstepping bounds
and forcing people against their beliefs in matters where people on
both sides have beliefs they are trying to defend from oppression by the other??)
I think A2 is what is causing most of the public upset.
I believe we can resolve A2 if we agree to separate A1 first,
work that out as individuals and in groups where we can implement
an agreed policy among ourselves case by case. And then use
solutions from A1 working as individuals, to propose better
models or solutions for A2 or govt/public policy by free choice not by force of law.