Glorifying the single mother?

[Valerie]

And I get enough judgment from my Grandma, I don't need a person whom I don't know judging me. You all should be so proud of yourselves.

Yes, and I'll be sure to shun my own sister who divorced her bully of a husband because the bastard cheated on her after she bore his children. How dare she, and the millions and MILLIONS of women just like her, try to empower themselves by projecting positivity for single mothers on the interwebs!


I'd be more ashamed to be the OP of this thread...

 

[Luissa]

How about we judge the moms who raised the men who can't take care of their kids? My kids father was raised in a two parent household. Should I pass judgement on his mom?
Or should I just judge the person for what they do, and not apply stereotypes or lump them into a group?

 

[Ravi]

How about we judge the moms who raised the men who can't take care of their kids? My kids father was raised in a two parent household. Should I pass judgement on his mom?
Or should I just judge the person for what they do, and not apply stereotypes or lump them into a group?

I hate it when you're sensible.

 

[Dreamy]

And I get enough judgment from my Grandma, I don't need a person whom I don't know judging me. You all should be so proud of yourselves.

Who is judging you? I don't even know you.


My posts are discussing a topic in a general sense as we often do on these boards and based on people I have known IRL, my life, I have discussed separately based on first hand knowledge.


http://www.usmessageboard.com/6480849-post165.html

You guys are judging single moms in general. You guys have been since the OP.

Luissa, since you don't know me how are you certain you have never discussed a topic that applies to my life? Have you possibly "offended me"? lol

We all discuss many topics on this board. I do not post thinking about "OMG, who might this discussion offend who posts here!"

I have discussed two types of single Moms I know IRL. I know that not all Moms, single or married are all bad or all good. Life is more complex than that of course. I certainly would never post to offend any member personally here about their life. However I would hope that we are free to discuss reality and the reality is that there are single Moms as I have discussed. I prefer not to bring the real lives of USMB posters into controversial discussions because what would be the point? You are a stranger. Why would I want to diss or judge you and your life of which I know nothing.

 

[Connery]

How about we judge the moms who raised the men who can't take care of their kids? My kids father was raised in a two parent household. Should I pass judgement on his mom?
Or should I just judge the person for what they do, and not apply stereotypes or lump them into a group?

The inherent issues within this thread are endless. To simplify that which can go back generations is ridiculous. There are many questions about the family of origin, customs of the area in which both mother and absentee father were born, poor mental hygiene, education, religion etc etc etc. It can takes years to find out, some find out quickly then get castigated in this thread. Bottom line is rarely do we know the individual we are sleeping with until it is too late to reverse an event like the birth of a child.

 

[Dreamy]

How about we judge the moms who raised the men who can't take care of their kids? My kids father was raised in a two parent household. Should I pass judgement on his mom?
Or should I just judge the person for what they do, and not apply stereotypes or lump them into a group?

Do you ever make judgments about people or types of people? Do you have an opinion about bad parenting?

 

[Luissa]

And I get enough judgment from my Grandma, I don't need a person whom I don't know judging me. You all should be so proud of yourselves.

Yes, and I'll be sure to shun my own sister who divorced her bully of a husband because the bastard cheated on her after she bore his children. How dare she, and the millions and MILLIONS of women just like her, try to empower themselves by projecting positivity for single mothers on the interwebs!


I'd be more ashamed to be the OP of this thread...

How horrible of your sister.
I could judge my own mom. She was a single mom of two boys before she married my dad because her ex cheated in her.
Of course the two boys she raised turned out to be great husbands and fathers. And I will say this, my mom is a super mom.

 

[Dreamy]

How about we judge the moms who raised the men who can't take care of their kids? My kids father was raised in a two parent household. Should I pass judgement on his mom?
Or should I just judge the person for what they do, and not apply stereotypes or lump them into a group?

The inherent issues within this thread are endless. To simplify that which can go back generations is ridiculous. There are many questions about the family of origin, customs of the area in which both mother and absentee father were born, poor mental hygiene, education, religion etc etc etc. It can takes years to find out, some find out quickly then get castigated in this thread. Bottom line is rarely do we know the individual we are sleeping with until it is too late to reverse an event like the birth of a child.

Bottom line is rarely do we know the individual we are sleeping with until it is too late to reverse an event like the birth of a child.

Case by case but I don't think it is that rare. I think the being in love, the passion and the hormones cause lack of brain power and common sense for people. That is fine as long as there is enough time before baby making to make sure the lover is worthy of being a father or mother. Even years don't promise anything but it beats getting into baby making before you really know who will be your child's other parent.

 

[AmyNation]

And I get enough judgment from my Grandma, I don't need a person whom I don't know judging me. You all should be so proud of yourselves.

Your sensitive to this issue. I'm sorry that you feel judged. Perhaps you shouldn't have clicked the thread if you can't discuss the topic because your too close to the subject matter.

I see my point flew over your head.
You and other have made quite a few judgements about women you don't know. I have read that single moms are whores, use their children to stick it to men, take advAntage of the system, and are horrible at choosing life partners.
Then there are the ones who feel that society should look down on them. So like I said, you guys are judging people you do not know. People become single moms due to many reasons. Instead of judging someone and making them feel bad for their lot in life, try to show some compassion. That might go farther than judgment. Plus it is more Christian like.

Most people go out of their way to make single moms feel good. Society as a whole makes a lot of concessions for single mothers in an attempt to make up for the times when it used to be a shameful thing.

I am not judging you.

Saying that single mothers should be a cautionary tale, that it's bad for children and that we shouldnt glamorize it but show compassion to those children born in to a difficult circumstance is not judgement.

 

[Luissa]

Your sensitive to this issue. I'm sorry that you feel judged. Perhaps you shouldn't have clicked the thread if you can't discuss the topic because your too close to the subject matter.

I see my point flew over your head.
You and other have made quite a few judgements about women you don't know. I have read that single moms are whores, use their children to stick it to men, take advAntage of the system, and are horrible at choosing life partners.
Then there are the ones who feel that society should look down on them. So like I said, you guys are judging people you do not know. People become single moms due to many reasons. Instead of judging someone and making them feel bad for their lot in life, try to show some compassion. That might go farther than judgment. Plus it is more Christian like.

Most people go out of their way to make single moms feel good. Society as a whole makes a lot of concessions for single mothers in an attempt to make up for the times when it used to be a shameful thing.

I am not judging you.

Saying that single mothers should be a cautionary tale, that it's bad for children and that we shouldnt glamorize it but show compassion to those children born in to a difficult circumstance is not judgement.

You see what you want to see.

 

[High_Gravity]

If someone on your Facebook annoys you why not just delete them?

Some are people I have known forever. This way you don't offend anyone.

I almost started a riot talking shit about my ex on Facebook, I learned to never under estimate Facebook.

 

[Connery]

Your sensitive to this issue. I'm sorry that you feel judged. Perhaps you shouldn't have clicked the thread if you can't discuss the topic because your too close to the subject matter.

I see my point flew over your head.
You and other have made quite a few judgements about women you don't know. I have read that single moms are whores, use their children to stick it to men, take advAntage of the system, and are horrible at choosing life partners.
Then there are the ones who feel that society should look down on them. So like I said, you guys are judging people you do not know. People become single moms due to many reasons. Instead of judging someone and making them feel bad for their lot in life, try to show some compassion. That might go farther than judgment. Plus it is more Christian like.

Most people go out of their way to make single moms feel good. Society as a whole makes a lot of concessions for single mothers in an attempt to make up for the times when it used to be a shameful thing.

I am not judging you.

Saying that single mothers should be a cautionary tale, that it's bad for children and that we shouldnt glamorize it but show compassion to those children born in to a difficult circumstance is not judgement.

We should not stigmatize either. Life happens, those that have the wherewithal stay in it for the long haul, no matter what. Single parenthood has been around as long as humans have inhabited the earth. As a society we pat our selves on the back because we have institutions that seemingly have answers for various lifestyles. Someone strays from that "formula" and they are social outcasts. What a bunch of tripe.

 

[AmyNation]

I believe I said earlier in the thread, there has to be a middle ground between shame and superhero status.

 

[Connery]

I believe I said earlier in the thread, there has to be a middle ground between shame and superhero status.

Then you waffled back into your former stance of chiding and castigating.

 

[AmyNation]

That's your opinion.

 

[Connery]

That's your opinion.

Nope that is the plain meaning of the words you are using.

 

[Dreamy]

I have seen what the bad choices made by some selfish parents has caused innocent children and I will not apologize for knowing this personally IRL and believing that not all single parents deserve a trophy. If you are on this thread and you have never met the type of parents I am discussing then you are lucky. That is all this thread was about to me. I don't applaud bad behavior especially where children are concerned.

 

[AmyNation]

I have seen what the bad choices made by some selfish parents has caused innocent children and I will not apologize for knowing this personally IRL and believing that not all single parents deserve a trophy. If you are on this thread and you have never met the type of parents I am discussing then you are lucky. That is all this thread was about to me. I don't applaud bad behavior especially where children are concerned.

Exactly.

Do some single mothers deserve a trophy? Absolutely. However simply being a single mother isn't an achievement and shouldn't be praised.

 

[Dreamy]

I have seen what the bad choices made by some selfish parents has caused innocent children and I will not apologize for knowing this personally IRL and believing that not all single parents deserve a trophy. If you are on this thread and you have never met the type of parents I am discussing then you are lucky. That is all this thread was about to me. I don't applaud bad behavior especially where children are concerned.

Exactly.

Do some single mothers deserve a trophy? Absolutely. However simply being a single mother isn't an achievement and shouldn't be praised.

And I believe that is all you were stating from the start.

When I discuss a topic I would hope intelligent people would realize that we know that there is no "ALL" in any group we may discuss. I try to avoid ever saying:

All liberals
All conservatives
All men
All women
All single mothers
All Jews
All Christians

...and on and on.

But I will be damned if I am going to pussyfoot around reality. The reality is there are people in society who think we should never have strong opinions or dare speak out against bad behavior lest we "offend" someone who may be reading or hearing our words.

Not every single parent is a good parent. In fact some have hurt their children in many ways. I do want to add, that wedded parents have also failed miserably sometimes but the topic was not about parenting in general. It was about women(and men) knowingly choosing to make babies with men(and women) that one should probably not even be making dinner with never mind making babies.

If posting potentially offensive (to some) viewpoints here is frowned upon then it might mean it is time to shut down USMB. Seriously.

 

[Katzndogz]

That's the issue. No one should judge anyone else. Just accept what ever rolls down. That's nonsense. Of course we should make judgments on what kinds of people we will allow into our lives. We don't do it enough.