Delta, what is it with you? I mean I don't have anything against you, necessarily, but I have never seen someone go out of their way to such degrees to let everyone know how much they like to **** and who they like to ****. Is there anything more to you than that? Are you under the impression that we didn't grasp the extent to which you enjoy *******? I am pretty sure we got it by now.
Perhaps you are concerned that new people have come to the boards that are not aware of your stance on *******. Maybe you should go to every post on the "Introduce Yourself" board and say:
"
Hi. Welcome to USMB. I am Delta and I like to ****. I'll **** just about anything. Men, women, fruit bats, orangutans, old people, young people, healthy people, the handicapped, cantaloupe....if it's legal, I'm happy to **** it. Now a lot of people on these boards don't talk about *******, worthy as the topic may be. They will talk politics, religion, sports, tell jokes, etc. But me...I am all about the **** talk. So if you have come here to talk about ******* then I am your man. Welcome again and have fun on the boards. Oh BTW...what are you wearing right now?"
Pretty funny, but I'm not entirely convinced that D4E concerns himself greatly with the legality of what he's *******.
I won't comment on that, but I swear to God, this guy wakes up in the morning and must say to himself, "
Hmmmm....I wonder if everyone on USMB is aware of my position on *******. Perhaps I should clarify it further." I mean he must think we didn't get the memo or something.
I will give him this though. He is thorough. He covers all the angles of a journalist. He tells us who he *****, what he *****, where he *****, when he *****, why he *****, and how he *****.
Here's how a conversation with Delta would probably go.
Me: So Delta. Let chat. What shall we talk about?
Delta: Well I saw this article on ******* the other day and...
Me: Ok, ok. Hold it. How about politics. Let's talk politics.
Delta: Sure. You know I have noticed that there is a significant difference between how Democrats and Republicans ****. Republicans have a tendency to...
Me: Wait...wait. Religion. How about we discuss religion?
Delta: Oh ok. You know I have been thinking about a religious issue for quite some time.
Me: Oh and what is that?
Delta: Well it occurs to me that Evangelical Christians and Muslims are probably way too uptight when they ****. If they would just relax a bit they would enjoy it more. I think Anglicans probably **** the best.
Me: Jesus H. Christ. Ok how about a joke? Know any good ones?
Delta: YES! Why did the rooster cross the road?
Me: Why?
Delta: Because there was a hen over there he wanted to ****.
Me: Let's just talk sports.
Delta: I LOVE SPORTS! Know what my favorite sport is?
Me: What?
Delta: *******.
It gets old, man.
