Look, this is the shit Galt makes me do!
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Shut up, ***.
Hey now, Mike's good people. The only pole he ever sucked was by proxy, a hole.
You know, like they say in Texas: "If you suck a hole, you suck a pole by proxy."
That's a Texas thang. If you weren't never there, you wouldn't get it.
I think you just made that up.
I've been to Texas before to pour concrete. All I remember is fire ants and wanting to go back to Ohio where there is no fire ants.
Fire ants, stinging asps, fuzzy caterpillars that leave a big swollen bump on your arm, black widow and brown recluse spiders, copperhead snakes and water moccasins, stickers and thorns on everything that grows, crack heads, crack whores, strip joints, dollar tacos....
Damn, I miss Texas.
I also miss that common-law wife I had for 13 years, I miss screwing around on her after 13 years, driving all the way from Grand Prairie to Killeen to have anal sex with her because her husband who was deployed to the ME wasn't porking her like he should have, I miss the alcoholic Jewish GF I met while I worked at DeVry Institute in Irving, the same girl who sucked my dick when I brought her a 30-pack of Miller, I miss the hatred and anger I felt on 9/11 when I was sitting in a McDonald's at 9 in the morning, watching those twin towers fall to the ground, I miss lining the median in front of the Irving, TX Islamic center with cheap, Chinese-made American flags every September 11th afterwards, I miss that alcoholic Jewish GF after waking up one morning at 3 AM and finding her dead on the floor of a heart attack, I miss being so lonely that I sought solace in picking up strange girls on the street corner, spending $300 smoking crack cocaine with them, and hoping they'd never show up at my door again, I miss that Christian girl who tried to save me from my addiction, but who died from pneumonia, and I miss going to Trader's Village every Sunday morning, hoping to find some artifact that was worth a fortune.
Texas was very kind to me, yet very cruel at the same time. I guess it's a trade-off.