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From H@ to Housewife? It's possible?!


Aug 25, 2011
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I just read an excerpt for a new book that is coming out that is pretty funny. It teaches h@es how to be picked as housewives. I think it's kind of a joke, but maybe some of the points are valid?

Here is the excerpt:

How to go from a Ho(e) to a Housewife

Ho (n.) - Will often have sex for sport, has no vision of the future, doesn’t want sh*t except an orgasm; Alternative meaning: street vernacular for prostitute

Ho(e) (n.) – Has a vision of having a happy relationship with the man of her dreams and recognizes the value she brings to the table

Okay, that’s all the intro you get. It’s time to get down to business!


I’m about to continue playing the role of Big Mama for a second and give you some pointers that you may have missed along the way about what type of Ho(e) not to be if you want to get your man and become his wife. You may feel a little bit of pride rising up in your throat when I go through this but I’m asking you to tell your pride to shut the f*ck up and listen to what I’m saying. Your pride will get you in a bunch of damn trouble and keep you from getting what you want out of life. All of this may not apply to you, but if you’re reading this and some dude is treating you like a Ho maybe you need to listen for a second, so you can get a few ideas about how to handle that situation.

Don’t be a dumb ho(e)
I’m not talking about grades in school, I’m talking about actual knowledge. You may be out of school or had some troubles in school. I don’t really care. I’m talking about taking the time out and reading a f*cking paper from time to time. I don’t mean The National Enquirer or some type of entertainment magazine or some damn hair magazine. That’s fine if you want to read that, but you need to know some sh*t about what’s going on in the world. Read the headlines from time to time, watch a news report, go to a news website every other day or so know some sh*t about what’s going on around you and in the world. Also, if you’re interested in something take the time out to at least do a Google search for it and read about it. Men get really turned on by women that know some sh*t. If you have the opportunity to take a class or two, do it! Take every opportunity to learn more about the world. As soon as a dude realizes that you’re smart and fine and freaky you have already started to separate yourself from H*es. Men want to brag about their kids and wives being smart. Take the time out to pursue those things that you’re passionate about.
Think about it this way; so, you go out with a dude and he’s fine, you’re looking good. You’re having a nice meal and a few cocktails, then what? What are you going to say? Obviously you need to be asking him about his life and what he’s into and all that kind of getting to know you sh*t, but you should also have something to say that is unique to you. It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as you know when to shut the f*ck up about it, but you do need to have something going on that is beyond some old bullsh*t gossip, your nails, your hair, your kids, and other shit that guys really don’t want to hear about. Tell the truth AND learn about things that you really care about. For example, if you’re into voodoo, that sh*t might scare some weak ass dudes off, but at least you’re interesting to talk to. Dudes that are worth their salt want to learn shit. It doesn’t matter how much money you have in your pockets right now or where you’re from you can be educated about a subject to the point where you can converse about it and stand out from simple ass women.

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