Favorite Ways To Annoy A Yankee

[Missourian]

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
   .
2. Pronounce all one syllable words with two.
   .
3. When giving directions, finish with "and it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses the mess out of 'em.
   .
4. Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.
   .
5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"
   .
6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
   .
7. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke. (This really does annoy 'em!)
   .
8. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.
   .
9. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .you get the idea)
   .
10. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation.
    .
11. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."
    .
12. Always order sweet tea or RC cola. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.
    .
13. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".
    .
14. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "Pah-kahn" not "Pee-can".
    .
15. Put Tabasco on everything.
    .
16. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!",say "Well, I'll be darned, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"
    .
17. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . .preferably the banana ones.
    .
18. Name all of your children "Bubba". (or just call em that!)
    .
19. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.
    .
20. "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school.
    .
21. Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.
    .
22. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
    .
23. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations...Offends the heck out of 'em.
    .
24. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there..." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.." (personal favorite of mine)
    .
25. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.
    .
26. When they mention something derogatory about southerners or country folks, stare at 'em as serious as you can and say "Don't make me kill you."...wait a few beats then crack up laughing like you were jokin'.

 

[Sunni Man]

Although I am from the South.

I have been up North for 3 years.

I do most everything on the list and then some.

It's so easy to drive these Yankees crazy!!!

 

[Dis]

Favorite Ways To Annoy A Yankee

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

You could have just stopped right there.. That trumps everything else, and pisses us off to no end.

 

[dilloduck]

You could have just stopped right there.. That trumps everything else, and pisses us off to no end.

Y'all in a big hurry ?

 

[Sunni Man]

You could have just stopped right there.. That trumps everything else, and pisses us off to no end.

LOL!!

I am here in New England.

Where I work everything has to be rush, rush, rush.

Even when there is No reason to hurry

 

[Sunni Man]

15. Put Tabasco on everything.

I bought a bottle and set it on the break room table.

No one else will even try any. They say it's too hot

 

[Dis]

Y'all in a big hurry ?

Y'all ain't the only fucking people on the planet.. SOME of us actually have things to do, and places to be. Just because YOU have no ambition or energy to move in life, doesn't mean the rest of us don't.

 

[Gunny]

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
   .
2. Pronounce all one syllable words with two.
   .
3. When giving directions, finish with "and it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses the mess out of 'em.
   .
4. Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.
   .
5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"
   .
6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
   .
7. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke. (This really does annoy 'em!)
   .
8. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.
   .
9. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .you get the idea)
   .
10. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation.
    .
11. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."
    .
12. Always order sweet tea or RC cola. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.
    .
13. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".
    .
14. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "Pah-kahn" not "Pee-can".
    .
15. Put Tabasco on everything.
    .
16. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!",say "Well, I'll be darned, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"
    .
17. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . .preferably the banana ones.
    .
18. Name all of your children "Bubba". (or just call em that!)
    .
19. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.
    .
20. "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school.
    .
21. Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.
    .
22. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
    .
23. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations...Offends the heck out of 'em.
    .
24. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there..." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.." (personal favorite of mine)
    .
25. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.
    .
26. When they mention something derogatory about southerners or country folks, stare at 'em as serious as you can and say "Don't make me kill you."...wait a few beats then crack up laughing like you were jokin'.

You forgot "fixin' to." "I'm fixin' to go get gas ... y'know ... where the Chevron station used to be."

 

[Gunny]

You could have just stopped right there.. That trumps everything else, and pisses us off to no end.

*makes note*

 

[WillowTree]

Y'all ain't the only fucking people on the planet.. SOME of us actually have things to do, and places to be. Just because YOU have no ambition or energy to move in life, doesn't mean the rest of us don't.

What kind of tree are you tonight dear?

 

[Dis]

What kind of tree are you tonight dear?

A weeping willow.

 

[Sky Dancer]

RULES FOR DRIVING IN THE SOUTH



* A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

* Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Southerner never uses them.

* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

* Tailgating is a "must" to all Southerners.

* Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

* The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.



If you MUST use turn signals, here's how to do it, Southern Style.

* Signal only when you feel like it.

* If you feel you must use your directionals, make sure they blink only once, then turn them off.

* Signal only after you change lanes.

* When driving straight, make sure that at least one directional is blinking at all times. This keeps the drivers behind you on their toes.

* Signal as you approach a curve in the road.

* If you intend to make a right turn, use the left signal.

* If you intend to make a left turn, use the right signal.

* When approaching an intersection, signal to turn and slow down. When other drivers or pedestrians cross in front of you, turn off the signal and go straight.

* When you intend to make a turn, start signaling approximately 6-8 blocks before your turn. Slow down for each block as you approach them.

* Always apply your brakes way before you signal.

* When making a left turn at a busy red light, wait for the light to turn green before you turn on your signal.

* Wait until after you have started to turn or change lanes to use your signals.

* If you must use hand signals instead of your directionals, use your right hand or have your passenger do it out the right side window.