Great question!
In my little world, especially because we're lucky enough to live in this country, we allow people to say what they're thinking, even if we don't like it.
Why?
Because it provides us with an excellent opportunity to engage that person in mature, civil public debate.
Why do we want to do that?
Well, two reasons: First, with patience, honesty and passion, we may be able to change their mind, or at least soften/alter it somewhat. But probably more importantly, if we can do it in public, we may be able to change/alter the minds of many others. And we did it organically, by truly changing hearts and minds, rather than exacerbating animosities through punishment, which just makes it take that much longer to change hearts and minds. We do it civilly and through the culture. Like adults.
For some reason you seem to think that I like racial and gay slurs. I do not, and I never use them. You will never see me do so, nor will you see me agreeing with someone who does. In fact, I may very well dislike them just as much as you. And unless I know who is thinking such thoughts, I'll never be able to change their hearts and minds -- sometimes through debate, sometimes through leading by example -- and progress is slowed.
Thanks for the question.
Does that make sense?
.