Driving For Dummies

[g5000]

Here are a few tips for driving to avoid looking like a retard:

1. A turn signal is intended to alert the drivers behind you that you are about to hit your brakes. And yet for some reason, most drivers hit the brakes first and then activate their turn signal after the fact, thus negating the whole point of turn signals.

So remember: Turn signal, THEN brakes.


2. Observing other drivers, it seems they are ignorant of a seemingly little known law of physics which slows your car down when going uphill. They seem oblivious to the necessity of pressing down on the gas pedal to maintain their speed, thus avoiding traffic backups.

Don't be that guy.


3. Another peculiarity of a lot of drivers is that they hit their brakes and/or slow down before moving into a turn lane. Turn lanes are long enough that you can enter them at full speed and still have enough room to come to a complete stop.


4. The entry ramps on a highway are more than long enough to get up to highway speed before entering the flow of traffic. You don't have to wait until you are in the mix before deciding to get up to highway speed. You can therefore avoid looking like a retard by matching the speed of the traffic flow before merging.


5. The same is true for exit ramps. They are plenty long enough for you to exit at highway speed and slow down. There is absolutely no need to start slowing down a quarter mile before your exit.


6. You are not a traffic enforcer. If you see a speeder, it is not your job to get in front of him and drive slowly.


7. Before changing lanes on the highway, look over your left shoulder and check your blind spot. Our scientists have come up with all kinds of wonderful gadgets for our cars to make us more situationally aware of our surroundings, but nothing replaces that look over the shoulder.

Also, turn signal THEN start your lane change. A turn signal is not intended to inform everyone you have completed your lane change.


8. Highway engineers have gone to a great deal of trouble to help drivers do all the things I have mentioned above. Enter at highway speed, exit at highway speed, etc. Another thing they took a lot of trouble to do is to make sure you can see far enough around a curve in the highway without having to slow down. And yet most drivers unconsciously slow down when there is a curve in the highway.

Don't be that guy.


9. A good driver is always looking way ahead and not focused on the bumper of the car in front of them. A really alert driver will rarely have to hit his brakes on the highway as he can see a slowdown far enough ahead that he only has to take his foot off the gas. Unnecessarily hitting your brakes on the highway is one of the dumbest, most retarded, most dangerous things you can do. Especially during inclement weather.


10. The right lane is for slowER traffic. Some drivers seem to think it is for slow traffic. That's not what the sign says.

Retards seem to think so long as they are doing the speed limit, they can hang out in the left lane all day.

If you are in the left lane and you notice a line of cars is forming behind you and you have open highway in front of you, guess what? You're a retard.

 

[Manonthestreet]

Look at the traffic as you are coming down the ramp not at the end of the ramp.

 

[Manonthestreet]

Love idiots who speed down the fast lane and then attempt the 2-3: lane exit jump in the last tenth of a mile.

 

[night_son]

Common sense ain't so common these days. That being said, yield signs exist at the bottom of highway on ramps for a reason. In PA, said yield signs seem to confuse many drivers. The law contradicts itself in commanding those entering the highway to yield to those drivers already traveling it, while also commanding those already driving on it to change lanes to allow drivers to enter and merge from the ramp.

Overall, one must be a defensive driving ninja these days.

 

[Disir]

Here are a few tips for driving to avoid looking like a retard:

1. A turn signal is intended to alert the drivers behind you that you are about to hit your brakes. And yet for some reason, most drivers hit the brakes first and then activate their turn signal after the fact, thus negating the whole point of turn signals.

So remember: Turn signal, THEN brakes.


2. Observing other drivers, it seems they are ignorant of a seemingly little known law of physics which slows your car down when going uphill. They seem oblivious to the necessity of pressing down on the gas pedal to maintain their speed, thus avoiding traffic backups.

Don't be that guy.


3. Another peculiarity of a lot of drivers is that they hit their brakes and/or slow down before moving into a turn lane. Turn lanes are long enough that you can enter them at full speed and still have enough room to come to a complete stop.


4. The entry ramps on a highway are more than long enough to get up to highway speed before entering the flow of traffic. You don't have to wait until you are in the mix before deciding to get up to highway speed. You can therefore avoid looking like a retard by matching the speed of the traffic flow before merging.


5. The same is true for exit ramps. They are plenty long enough for you to exit at highway speed and slow down. There is absolutely no need to start slowing down a quarter mile before your exit.


6. You are not a traffic enforcer. If you see a speeder, it is not your job to get in front of him and drive slowly.


7. Before changing lanes on the highway, look over your left shoulder and check your blind spot. Our scientists have come up with all kinds of wonderful gadgets for our cars to make us more situationally aware of our surroundings, but nothing replaces that look over the shoulder.

Also, turn signal THEN start your lane change. A turn signal is not intended to inform everyone you have completed your lane change.


8. Highway engineers have gone to a great deal of trouble to help drivers do all the things I have mentioned above. Enter at highway speed, exit at highway speed, etc. Another thing they took a lot of trouble to do is to make sure you can see far enough around a curve in the highway without having to slow down. And yet most drivers unconsciously slow down when there is a curve in the highway.

Don't be that guy.


9. A good driver is always looking way ahead and not focused on the bumper of the car in front of them. A really alert driver will rarely have to hit his brakes on the highway as he can see a slowdown far enough ahead that he only has to take his foot off the gas. Unnecessarily hitting your brakes on the highway is one of the dumbest, most retarded, most dangerous things you can do. Especially during inclement weather.


10. The right lane is for slowER traffic. Some drivers seem to think it is for slow traffic. That's not what the sign says.

Retards seem to think so long as they are doing the speed limit, they can hang out in the left lane all day.

If you are in the left lane and you notice a line of cars is forming behind you and you have open highway in front of you, guess what? You're a retard.

There is only one thing you need to remember about the rules of the road.

When I am driving, I own the road.


That is all.

 

[Mr Natural]

I'm at the point in life where I no longer have the need for speed. I get in the right lane and go with the flow. If I'm not going fast enough for you, go around.

 

[bendog]

Here are a few tips for driving to avoid looking like a retard:

1. A turn signal is intended to alert the drivers behind you that you are about to hit your brakes. And yet for some reason, most drivers hit the brakes first and then activate their turn signal after the fact, thus negating the whole point of turn signals.

So remember: Turn signal, THEN brakes.


2. Observing other drivers, it seems they are ignorant of a seemingly little known law of physics which slows your car down when going uphill. They seem oblivious to the necessity of pressing down on the gas pedal to maintain their speed, thus avoiding traffic backups.

Don't be that guy.


3. Another peculiarity of a lot of drivers is that they hit their brakes and/or slow down before moving into a turn lane. Turn lanes are long enough that you can enter them at full speed and still have enough room to come to a complete stop.


4. The entry ramps on a highway are more than long enough to get up to highway speed before entering the flow of traffic. You don't have to wait until you are in the mix before deciding to get up to highway speed. You can therefore avoid looking like a retard by matching the speed of the traffic flow before merging.


5. The same is true for exit ramps. They are plenty long enough for you to exit at highway speed and slow down. There is absolutely no need to start slowing down a quarter mile before your exit.


6. You are not a traffic enforcer. If you see a speeder, it is not your job to get in front of him and drive slowly.


7. Before changing lanes on the highway, look over your left shoulder and check your blind spot. Our scientists have come up with all kinds of wonderful gadgets for our cars to make us more situationally aware of our surroundings, but nothing replaces that look over the shoulder.

Also, turn signal THEN start your lane change. A turn signal is not intended to inform everyone you have completed your lane change.


8. Highway engineers have gone to a great deal of trouble to help drivers do all the things I have mentioned above. Enter at highway speed, exit at highway speed, etc. Another thing they took a lot of trouble to do is to make sure you can see far enough around a curve in the highway without having to slow down. And yet most drivers unconsciously slow down when there is a curve in the highway.

Don't be that guy.


9. A good driver is always looking way ahead and not focused on the bumper of the car in front of them. A really alert driver will rarely have to hit his brakes on the highway as he can see a slowdown far enough ahead that he only has to take his foot off the gas. Unnecessarily hitting your brakes on the highway is one of the dumbest, most retarded, most dangerous things you can do. Especially during inclement weather.


10. The right lane is for slowER traffic. Some drivers seem to think it is for slow traffic. That's not what the sign says.

Retards seem to think so long as they are doing the speed limit, they can hang out in the left lane all day.

If you are in the left lane and you notice a line of cars is forming behind you and you have open highway in front of you, guess what? You're a retard.

Yew must live in one a dem states havin' that infersucuture stuff.

 

[flacaltenn]

2. Observing other drivers, it seems they are ignorant of a seemingly little known law of physics which slows your car down when going uphill. They seem oblivious to the necessity of pressing down on the gas pedal to maintain their speed, thus avoiding traffic backups.

Don't be that guy.

If I know I'm going to be violating the speed limit by a skotch COASTING down the backside, I may be slightly UNDER the limit approaching the top. It saves gas/brakes and helps the planet. LOL...

And I beat my EPA mileage driving like that. Also better on highways than the cruise control.

 

[flacaltenn]

6. You are not a traffic enforcer. If you see a speeder, it is not your job to get in front of him and drive slowly.

Wont attempt that on a highway ever. Learned to be tolerant to the fast lane drivers while working in Germany.. LOL..

But for the idiots that do 55 on the main road into my subdivision, I'll always slow to the limit just to remind them -- that there is one. Citizens' arrest so to speak..

 

[petro]

The other I will add is the zipper merge when a lane ends in heavy traffic.
Use all lanes until merge point then take turns at the merge point. Not a half mile before, then get pissy and try to block a legal lane of traffic...

It eases congestion and saves everyone time. Courtesy and patience is required. Most states are adopting this and putting signs up at construction zones, yet idiots still make multiple merge points sometimes coming to a complete stop in the open lane.

 

[White 6]

Here are a few tips for driving to avoid looking like a retard:

1. A turn signal is intended to alert the drivers behind you that you are about to hit your brakes. And yet for some reason, most drivers hit the brakes first and then activate their turn signal after the fact, thus negating the whole point of turn signals.

So remember: Turn signal, THEN brakes.


2. Observing other drivers, it seems they are ignorant of a seemingly little known law of physics which slows your car down when going uphill. They seem oblivious to the necessity of pressing down on the gas pedal to maintain their speed, thus avoiding traffic backups.

Don't be that guy.


3. Another peculiarity of a lot of drivers is that they hit their brakes and/or slow down before moving into a turn lane. Turn lanes are long enough that you can enter them at full speed and still have enough room to come to a complete stop.


4. The entry ramps on a highway are more than long enough to get up to highway speed before entering the flow of traffic. You don't have to wait until you are in the mix before deciding to get up to highway speed. You can therefore avoid looking like a retard by matching the speed of the traffic flow before merging.


5. The same is true for exit ramps. They are plenty long enough for you to exit at highway speed and slow down. There is absolutely no need to start slowing down a quarter mile before your exit.


6. You are not a traffic enforcer. If you see a speeder, it is not your job to get in front of him and drive slowly.


7. Before changing lanes on the highway, look over your left shoulder and check your blind spot. Our scientists have come up with all kinds of wonderful gadgets for our cars to make us more situationally aware of our surroundings, but nothing replaces that look over the shoulder.

Also, turn signal THEN start your lane change. A turn signal is not intended to inform everyone you have completed your lane change.


8. Highway engineers have gone to a great deal of trouble to help drivers do all the things I have mentioned above. Enter at highway speed, exit at highway speed, etc. Another thing they took a lot of trouble to do is to make sure you can see far enough around a curve in the highway without having to slow down. And yet most drivers unconsciously slow down when there is a curve in the highway.

Don't be that guy.


9. A good driver is always looking way ahead and not focused on the bumper of the car in front of them. A really alert driver will rarely have to hit his brakes on the highway as he can see a slowdown far enough ahead that he only has to take his foot off the gas. Unnecessarily hitting your brakes on the highway is one of the dumbest, most retarded, most dangerous things you can do. Especially during inclement weather.


10. The right lane is for slowER traffic. Some drivers seem to think it is for slow traffic. That's not what the sign says.

Retards seem to think so long as they are doing the speed limit, they can hang out in the left lane all day.

If you are in the left lane and you notice a line of cars is forming behind you and you have open highway in front of you, guess what? You're a retard.

 

[Wyatt earp]

Don't play/protest in the street.


We will run you over

 

[Blues Man]

 

[Blues Man]

 

[JOSweetHeart]

I'm at the point in life where I no longer have the need for speed. I get in the right lane and go with the flow. If I'm not going fast enough for you, go around.

I second this. This may be why so many roads have more than one lane.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

 

[whitehall]

The on ramp thing seems to be the issue most lacking in the safe driving courses. The ramps offer an ample distance to accelerate to highway speed and you need to do it to merge with traffic but time and time again you see drivers creep onto a interstate at city speeds. Tractor trailers don't stop on a dime and when you are doing 45 in a realistically 80 mph zone you are a menace.