Do you think it's okay..........

[-Cp]

For a Married couple to watch porn together? Is it part of a "healthy sex life"?

 

[dilloduck]

For a Married couple to watch porn together? Is it part of a "healthy sex life"?

Why of course !

 

[dmp]

I don't like how your question is worded.


It'd be like asking "Is Choclate part of a healthy lifestyle?"

No clear answer.

Is consuming chocolate a detriment to a healthy lifestyle?

Is watching porn harmful to a married couple's sex life? That what you are asking?

 

[-Cp]

Why of course !

You don't feel as if it cheapens sex?

 

[5stringJeff]

Porn, no.

Instructional sex videos, maybe. I've never seen one, but that's about where I'd draw the line.

 

[dmp]

You don't feel as if it cheapens sex?

there's not much cheaper, less full-filling, un-productive sex than 'lifeless' sex. The Cheapest sex is when one spouse begrudgingly 'allows' the other to 'get off'. If watching Pr0n gets a couple intensely excited about eachother than pr0n is okay. Contextually, sure.

See? Catholics got it wrong. Sex isn't for 'just procreation' - Sex is THE bonding action which drives a man's spirit to join with the soul of the woman. Sex is what bonds and nurtures and heals.

Sex is a SYMPTOM of something deeper. A man and Woman (should) have sex because that's the natural result of how they FEEL towards eachother. A Man and Woman (should) have sex because sex is the perfect expression of the uniting of their hearts, minds and bodies.

OF COURSE sex happens just cuz somebody 'needs some' - but HELPING your spouse with that need should NEVER be a chore; if it IS a chore, I'd bet something is'nt right - or at least not as wonderfual as God intended a marriage to be.

So? My answer?

I dunno.

 

[dilloduck]

You don't feel as if it cheapens sex?

Cheapens?? You mean degrades it morally somehow?

 

[5stringJeff]

there's not much cheaper, less full-filling, un-productive sex than 'lifeless' sex. The Cheapest sex is when one spouse begrudgingly 'allows' the other to 'get off'. If watching Pr0n gets a couple intensely excited about eachother than pr0n is okay. Contextually, sure.

See? Catholics got it wrong. Sex isn't for 'just procreation' - Sex is THE bonding action which drives a man's spirit to join with the soul of the woman. Sex is what bonds and nurtures and heals.

Sex is a SYMPTOM of something deeper. A man and Woman (should) have sex because that's the natural result of how they FEEL towards eachother. A Man and Woman (should) have sex because sex is the perfect expression of the uniting of their hearts, minds and bodies.

OF COURSE sex happens just cuz somebody 'needs some' - but HELPING your spouse with that need should NEVER be a chore; if it IS a chore, I'd bet something is'nt right - or at least not as wonderfual as God intended a marriage to be.

So? My answer?

I dunno.

While I agree that sex in marriage can be emotionally unfulfilling, porn is not the answer. Porn just gets the couple excited about other people, not about each other.

 

[Nienna]

there's not much cheaper, less full-filling, un-productive sex than 'lifeless' sex. The Cheapest sex is when one spouse begrudgingly 'allows' the other to 'get off'. If watching Pr0n gets a couple intensely excited about eachother than pr0n is okay. Contextually, sure.

See? Catholics got it wrong. Sex isn't for 'just procreation' - Sex is THE bonding action which drives a man's spirit to join with the soul of the woman. Sex is what bonds and nurtures and heals.

Sex is a SYMPTOM of something deeper. A man and Woman (should) have sex because that's the natural result of how they FEEL towards eachother. A Man and Woman (should) have sex because sex is the perfect expression of the uniting of their hearts, minds and bodies.

OF COURSE sex happens just cuz somebody 'needs some' - but HELPING your spouse with that need should NEVER be a chore; if it IS a chore, I'd bet something is'nt right - or at least not as wonderful as God intended a marriage to be.

So? My answer?

I dunno.

This is exactly right, D.

I think it also depends on the type of porn, too. If it's ultraviolent or weird stuff, I don't see how that could possibly help ANYONE in any circumstance have a positive, healthy view of sex "as it's meant to be."

 

[Nienna]

While I agree that sex in marriage can be emotionally unfulfilling, porn is not the answer. Porn just gets the couple excited about other people, not about each other.

That's true. There is definitely an element of privacy in "sacred sex."

 

[Annie]

there's not much cheaper, less full-filling, un-productive sex than 'lifeless' sex. The Cheapest sex is when one spouse begrudgingly 'allows' the other to 'get off'. If watching Pr0n gets a couple intensely excited about eachother than pr0n is okay. Contextually, sure.

See? Catholics got it wrong. Sex isn't for 'just procreation' - Sex is THE bonding action which drives a man's spirit to join with the soul of the woman. Sex is what bonds and nurtures and heals.

Sex is a SYMPTOM of something deeper. A man and Woman (should) have sex because that's the natural result of how they FEEL towards eachother. A Man and Woman (should) have sex because sex is the perfect expression of the uniting of their hearts, minds and bodies.

OF COURSE sex happens just cuz somebody 'needs some' - but HELPING your spouse with that need should NEVER be a chore; if it IS a chore, I'd bet something is'nt right - or at least not as wonderfual as God intended a marriage to be.

So? My answer?

I dunno.

Speaking just to inform, not defensive or attacking, I think you have the Catholic teachings on sex WITHIN marriage wrong. The following is pretty good, I mean it sounds a lot like what you have spoken about regarding sex, marriage, and love:

http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARRIAGE/MORMAR.TXT

 

[Joz]

Where do you draw the line? How do you know how porn will affect your partner. There is a distinct relationship to porn & addiction as with any other 'drug'. What might start out as a little fun might turn into a full blown problem.

I believe that there are much better ways to stimulate your partner. And if they aren't interested, then I think a counselor might be in need. And if they won't see a counselor then you have some serious decisions to make.

I would hate like the dickens to think that the partner I was with needed something else other than ME to get him interested in me. I think that's pretty crappy.

 

[jillian]

I don't understand why the conflict. If two people enjoy that. It's their business. If not, then no problem either.

Y'all are thinking way too much. There's nothing supernatural about it. *sigh*

 

[Joz]

I don't understand why the conflict. If two people enjoy that. It's their business. If not, then no problem either.

Y'all are thinking way too much. There's nothing supernatural about it. *sigh*

Just for starters, might want to check these out.


http://www.firesofdarkness.com/

http://www.no-porn.com/

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic.../11/18/national1907EST0715.DTL&type=printable

 

[Mr. P]

It okay for a Married couple to do whatever they what in THEIR bedroom.

 

[jillian]

Just for starters, might want to check these out.


http://www.firesofdarkness.com/

http://www.no-porn.com/

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic.../11/18/national1907EST0715.DTL&type=printable

Thanks for your effort. But there are people addicted to alcohol. There are people addicted to gambling. That doesn't mean no one should ever have a drink or play a game of black jack.

And, like I said. It's between the two people. Doesn't hurt anyone if they aren't interested in that. Doesn't hurt anyone if they are.

And, no offense intended, but some Christian conservative who's all het up about this stuff is a bit too Carrie Nation for me.

 

[Joz]

Thanks for your effort. But there are people addicted to alcohol. There are people addicted to gambling. That doesn't mean no one should ever have a drink or play a game of black jack.

And, like I said. It's between the two people. Doesn't hurt anyone if they aren't interested in that. Doesn't hurt anyone if they are.

And, no offense intended, but some Christian conservative who's all het up about this stuff is a bit too Carrie Nation for me.

I understand your reasoning and I respect your opinion.

You are quite correct that there are all kinds of addictions. I've know people to take a drink and not have one for years. I've also known people who can't get thru the day without adding to their inevititable wet brain-ness. I'm not saying that all bars or gambling casinos should close. But, I also know some who have a consuming porn addiction. There needs to be caution when taking something extra [such as porn] into the marital bed.

 

[jillian]

I understand your reasoning and I respect your opinion.

You are quite correct that there are all kinds of addictions. I've know people to take a drink and not have one for years. I've also known people who can't get thru the day without adding to their inevititable wet brain-ness. I'm not saying that all bars or gambling casinos should close. But, I also know some who have a consuming porn addiction. There needs to be caution when taking something extra [such as porn] into the marital bed.

Well, I don't know anyone who's ever disclosed an addiction to porn. On the other hand, maybe they didn't find it problematic if they were. I wouldn't know.

But I hear what you're saying. I really do think that people make these things far more complex than need be.

Anyway...have a dinner to attend tonight. Nice speaking with you.

Laterz.

 

[Annie]

Just reading the exchange between Jillian and Joz, I think moderation is the key. I don't know how many studies have shown that men are more arosed by visual images than women. At the same time, 'romantic novels' can get many a lady in the mood, so in my mind a lot would depend on the meaning of 'pornography' which is so broad as to include kiddies and S & M, while at the same time, some soft core stuff, with at least a bit of a story.

Without a definition of 'porn' I think we'll get no where, slowly.

 

[Kagom]

For a Married couple to watch porn together? Is it part of a "healthy sex life"?

I say "yes" unless it's at an obsessive amount, then I'd say you're both addicted!

Seriously, nothing wrong with adding a little spice to things.