You vastly underestimate the degree that social pressure has on people. Social pressure teaches us pretty, ugly, good ,bad etc etc etc. Without adult humans to teach us, we are like animals.
I have not underestimated social pressure at all. But I also know that the human spirit is capable of awareness, understanding, and conceptual perceptions that nobody has to teach it. Both my husband and I chose to be something other than what our parents intended for us or that they ever understood. I have observed it in my own children. Neither chose directions for their lives that my husband or I would have chosen for them or that we guided them into. Nor did anybody else. They both, however, had their own inate creativity, abilities, desires, and interests. To recognize that this exists in no way negates or dismisses that cultural conditioning is also a factor in who or what we are.
Each human being is as individual as a snowflake with or without somebody else involving themselves in how somebody else chooses or develops.
I would think it most unfortunate if you see youself as being purely what others have made of you. How sad would that be?