DeSantis Warns that Math Makes Children Gay

[C_Clayton_Jones]

‘TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Proposing a sweeping ban on math in Florida’s classrooms, Governor Ron DeSantis asserted that “the latest research” indicates that “math makes children gay.”

“For years, liberals in the education mafia have brainwashed Americans into thinking that our children should learn to add, subtract, multiply, and divide,” he told reporters. “We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style.”’

DeSantis Warns That Math Makes Children Gay

“We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style,” the Florida Governor told reporters.

www.newyorker.com

All good satire contains elements of the truth.

 

[Oddball]

And believing your idiotic posts causes cancer.

 

[Concerned American]

‘TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Proposing a sweeping ban on math in Florida’s classrooms, Governor Ron DeSantis asserted that “the latest research” indicates that “math makes children gay.”

“For years, liberals in the education mafia have brainwashed Americans into thinking that our children should learn to add, subtract, multiply, and divide,” he told reporters. “We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style.”’

DeSantis Warns That Math Makes Children Gay

“We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style,” the Florida Governor told reporters.

www.newyorker.com

All good satire contains elements of the truth.

What was that you were saying about conservative lies? You are a hypocritical lying liberal.

 

[StashMan]

Well if the Dims can make math racist than......

 

[AMart]

The left is really pissed that states are clamping down on CRT and Gay Trans grooming in the schools. The left is running out of bullets.

 

[daveman]

‘TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Proposing a sweeping ban on math in Florida’s classrooms, Governor Ron DeSantis asserted that “the latest research” indicates that “math makes children gay.”

“For years, liberals in the education mafia have brainwashed Americans into thinking that our children should learn to add, subtract, multiply, and divide,” he told reporters. “We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style.”’

DeSantis Warns That Math Makes Children Gay

“We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style,” the Florida Governor told reporters.

www.newyorker.com

All good satire contains elements of the truth.

Oh, you mean like the truth that leftists are teaching that math is racist?

 

[Ringel05]

I was never gay when learning math, heck wasn't always just happy either......... Focused, occasionally perplexed, satisfied but never gay or happy........

 

[C_Clayton_Jones]

Oh, you mean like the truth that leftists are teaching that math is racist?

Believing that children are being ‘groomed’ to be gay or transgender is just as stupid as believing teaching math makes children gay.

Believing that appropriate discussions about gender will make children gay or transgender is just as stupid as believing that teaching math makes children gay.

That’s why it’s good satire – it mocks the ignorance, stupidity, and hatred of conservatives.

 

[Toddsterpatriot]

DeSantis Warns that Math Makes Children Gay​

Which is why black people are bad at it..........

 

[Turtlesoup]

‘TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Proposing a sweeping ban on math in Florida’s classrooms, Governor Ron DeSantis asserted that “the latest research” indicates that “math makes children gay.”

“For years, liberals in the education mafia have brainwashed Americans into thinking that our children should learn to add, subtract, multiply, and divide,” he told reporters. “We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style.”’

DeSantis Warns That Math Makes Children Gay

“We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style,” the Florida Governor told reporters.

www.newyorker.com

All good satire contains elements of the truth.

In otherwords, the libs have nothing real to bash DeSantis over so they are forced to make up complete off the wall bullshit. PATHETIC.

 

[Hang on Sloopy]

‘TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Proposing a sweeping ban on math in Florida’s classrooms, Governor Ron DeSantis asserted that “the latest research” indicates that “math makes children gay.”

“For years, liberals in the education mafia have brainwashed Americans into thinking that our children should learn to add, subtract, multiply, and divide,” he told reporters. “We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style.”’

DeSantis Warns That Math Makes Children Gay

“We now know that numbers are a portal into a so-called alternative life style,” the Florida Governor told reporters.

www.newyorker.com

All good satire contains elements of the truth.

You Commies should all be stuffed in duffel bags with a 200 lb weight tied to you thrown down 500 feet of water

 

[daveman]

Believing that children are being ‘groomed’ to be gay or transgender is just as stupid as believing teaching math makes children gay.

Believing that appropriate discussions about gender will make children gay or transgender is just as stupid as believing that teaching math makes children gay.

That’s why it’s good satire – it mocks the ignorance, stupidity, and hatred of conservatives.

So, you're just going to pretend the reality that leftists believe math is racist simply isn't there?

Meanwhile, you admit the story you posted is satire...but you believe it's real.

You're a moron.

 

[Concerned American]

just as stupid as believing teaching math makes children gay.

That is a democrat maxim.

 

[Concerned American]

appropriate discussions about gender

There are no appropriate discussions about gender for grade schoolers.

 

[Calypso Jones]

you know. actually...he is satirizing the left's lies. De Santis of course said no such thing. IF you had seen the samples of questions in those 50 something math books you'd understand. What they were doing was posing the questions in such a way as to normalize 'not prime' lifestyles and by doing so, make it seem normal and appropriate for the children who will at some point be adults accepting of this behavior.

 

[Calypso Jones]

you have to wonder what the hell is wrong with people who want this.

Press California

When fake news isn't enough.

presscalifornia.com

to be able to kill your child 2weeks and in some cases up to a year after birth?? What the HELL PEOPLE!!! This is Godless. It is Ghoulish.

 

[Concerned American]

you have to wonder what the hell is wrong with people who want this.

Press California

When fake news isn't enough.

presscalifornia.com

to be able to kill your child 2weeks and in some cases up to a year after birth?? What the HELL PEOPLE!!! This is Godless. It is Ghoulish.

The word that comes to mind is MURDER.

 

[daveman]

you have to wonder what the hell is wrong with people who want this.

Press California

When fake news isn't enough.

presscalifornia.com

to be able to kill your child 2weeks and in some cases up to a year after birth?? What the HELL PEOPLE!!! This is Godless. It is Ghoulish.

Leftism is a death cult. It demands sacrifice of the innocent.

 

[Confederate Soldier]

I read this and legit was like "what the actual fuck!?" and then I saw it was in the political satire section...

Good one.

 

[AMart]

Believing that children are being ‘groomed’ to be gay or transgender is just as stupid as believing teaching math makes children gay.

Believing that appropriate discussions about gender will make children gay or transgender is just as stupid as believing that teaching math makes children gay.

That’s why it’s good satire – it mocks the ignorance, stupidity, and hatred of conservatives.

Has no business being taught in schools you fucking freak loser.