Deadbeat Parents

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Edited

 

[dmp]

At least in this state, Fathers are classified as 'deadbeat' until proven innocent. This state has some VERY oppressive child-support laws, as well as generally male-unfriendly divorce policies.

 

[dilloduck]

Called into a radio station this morning because the topic was deadbeat
parents. It was very biased as far as the male always being the one to
neglect parental responsibilities. I informed them that I didn’t think that was
fair because I had a deadbeat mother. My father is the greatest man I know.
He raised 3 children me being the youngest until he met my stepmother. My
mother left when I was only a few months old and my dad remarried when I
was 3. My response was less than polite, I got a “ya thanks for the call”
(click).

I created this thread because I’m starting to see more and more deadbeat
parents in my area, and I’m wondering how many of you see this? I hate to
see any parent deprive their children for any reason.
Other thoughts on the subject?

Good job !!!

I see dead beat parents all the time and to insinuate that it is primarily a male who is the "deadbeat" is feminist garbage used to try to drum up sympathy for those who don't deserve it.

 

[5stringJeff]

Unfortunately, deadbeat dads get more press than deadbeat moms, because the typical feel-good story you always see is all about the Empowered Single Mother who Works so Hard to Raise her Kid in this Crazy World. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many women like this - I should know, I married one! But there are plenty of moms on welfare that have more kids for the sole purpose of getting more welfare checks. There are also mothers who just choose to walk away from their kids. I have a stepcousin who did this. It was really sad to see.

I also think part of the "deadbeat dad" story that no one wants to touch is that, in many states (including WA), the child support scheduling is always biased against the father. Two kids could cost a single father upwards of $1000/month. That's a lot of cash, and if you fall behind on your payments, you're a deadbeat! I think the larger issues are 1) the bias against men in today's society, and 2) the ever-decreasing role of the traditional nuclear family.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

There are also mothers who just choose to walk away from their kids. I have a stepcousin who did this. It was really sad to see.

That was my mother 100%. Would you believe that she didn't even show up
to the custody hearing. Never ordered to pay child support either.
(not that she would have)

 

[dilloduck]

That was my mother 100%. Would you believe that she didn't even show up
to the custody hearing. Never ordered to pay child support either.
(not that she would have)

Some women only want equal treatment when it benefits them.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

At least in this state, Fathers are classified as 'deadbeat' until proven innocent. This state has some VERY oppressive child-support laws, as well as generally male-unfriendly divorce policies.

I think the same is true for most states. It's unfortunate to see that the
children don't always get what's best for them. I've seen many soldiers
denied custody simply because they are the father. In 90% of those
cases, a valiant effort was made to prove the mother unsuitable.
(which they were)

 

[dmp]

Unfortunately, deadbeat dads get more press than deadbeat moms, because the typical feel-good story you always see is all about the Empowered Single Mother who Works so Hard to Raise her Kid in this Crazy World. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many women like this - I should know, I married one! But there are plenty of moms on welfare that have more kids for the sole purpose of getting more welfare checks. There are also mothers who just choose to walk away from their kids. I have a stepcousin who did this. It was really sad to see.

I also think part of the "deadbeat dad" story that no one wants to touch is that, in many states (including WA), the child support scheduling is always biased against the father. Two kids could cost a single father upwards of $1000/month. That's a lot of cash, and if you fall behind on your payments, you're a deadbeat! I think the larger issues are 1) the bias against men in today's society, and 2) the ever-decreasing role of the traditional nuclear family.

This is one thing which really kicks me in the nickers....

For instance - Let's say my wife had a full-time job and she and I had, say, $400/month in child-care expenses. Now, upon divorce, MY (I say 'my' because there's little chance, in this state, I'd be awared full custody) Child-support would increase $400 per month to pay for the child care. Nope, not a 50-50 split. She was paying for half before, but if we split, I'd pay for ALL.

the way I've got it figured; I'll lose about $1500/month in child support + whatever else is awarded to her by the State.



Extortion.

 

[Nienna]

Well, Joker, I think they should have put you on the air, if only to get another POV. I personally know many more men than women who have walked away from their families. However, I do know a woman who pretty much did this, and I think she was the dumbest woman ever, bc her ex-husband is a real sweetie. I also know a couple of families where both parents are so wrapped up in themselves that they are neglecting their kids.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

This is one thing which really kicks me in the nickers....

For instance - Let's say my wife had a full-time job and she and I had, say, $400/month in child-care expenses. Now, upon divorce, MY (I say 'my' because there's little chance, in this state, I'd be awared full custody) Child-support would increase $400 per month to pay for the child care. Nope, not a 50-50 split. She was paying for half before, but if we split, I'd pay for ALL.

the way I've got it figured; I'll lose about $1500/month in child support + whatever else is awarded to her by the State.



Extortion.

A buddy of mine got custody of his child because he had evidence that his
wife smoked pot while breast feeding. (filthy bitch)
Just goes to show you guys...
"If you dig a hole, make sure you save the dirt"

 

[dilloduck]

This is one thing which really kicks me in the nickers....

For instance - Let's say my wife had a full-time job and she and I had, say, $400/month in child-care expenses. Now, upon divorce, MY (I say 'my' because there's little chance, in this state, I'd be awared full custody) Child-support would increase $400 per month to pay for the child care. Nope, not a 50-50 split. She was paying for half before, but if we split, I'd pay for ALL.

the way I've got it figured; I'll lose about $1500/month in child support + whatever else is awarded to her by the State.



Extortion.

Agreed--and if states didn't insist on whipping the man to death he may just feel more willing to (and happier) to remain around to help with parenting instead of forking over money that goes god-knows-where. Women aren't held accountable for the child support money

 

[5stringJeff]

I think the same is true for most states. It's unfortunate to see that the
children don't always get what's best for them. I've seen many soldiers
denied custody simply because they are the father. In 90% of those
cases, a valiant effort was made to prove the mother unsuitable.
(which they were)

Ludicrous. The law should clearly state that neither parent should be given the benefit of the doubt over the other parent.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Edited

 

[dmp]

Women aren't held accountable for the child support money

That's exactly right. I'd support legilsation which makes women accountable for how they spend "child support".

Ask the custodial parent to list expenses, and place all remaining funds into a college-tuition account for the kids.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Edited

 

[5stringJeff]

Should but it doesn't.

What makes women in favor anyway?

Probably the line that women are more nurturing, more caring, more whatever. There are some women who are great moms, but there are some women who aren't, just like there are good and bad fathers, and the judge ought to take such things into consideration.

 

[Nienna]

Should but it doesn't.

What makes women in favor anyway?

I BELIEVE (although I don't have any statistics) that it's more often the women who are "stuck" with the kids.

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

Edited

 

[Nienna]

That's exactly right. I'd support legilsation which makes women accountable for how they spend "child support".

Ask the custodial parent to list expenses, and place all remaining funds into a college-tuition account for the kids.

I'd support that.

 

[5stringJeff]

That's exactly right. I'd support legilsation which makes women accountable for how they spend "child support".

Ask the custodial parent to list expenses, and place all remaining funds into a college-tuition account for the kids.

OK... what accounts for child support?

Housing?

Food?

School supplies?

Clothes?

Car payments? Gasoline?

Ballet lessons? Piano? T-ball?

Lots and lots of questions there - not as cut-and-dry as one would think.