Cremation, or not?

[Luddly Neddite]

I have now been to two funerals in the last 7 weeks where a loved one was cremated.

Both were very, very sad events.

In the case of the death of my brother-in-law, the memorial service (open casket) was on a Saturday; the ashes were given over to my sister on the Thursday following. In many ways, the Thursday was even harder for her.
We literally relived the funeral all over again on that Thursday.

In Germany, three weeks ago, I went to a funeral for someone whom I cared about deeply. She was also cremated, but before the memorial and immediately after the memorial service, the urn was placed in a sort of family crypt.

My experience from there two funerals is that in the case of cremation, when the remains are sent home, it is as if one goes through a funeral all over again. No real sense of closure.

But in the case of a funeral where the urn is buried, for instance, in a crypt, there is indeed closure.

These events have given me pause as to how I want to be buried when my time comes, hopefully, first in many years from now.

What are your thoughts about cremation? Closure, or no closure?

There are no political overtones at all in this OP and probably just as few religious overtones, just to note.

I suppose it depends upon how the people left behind feel about it. I have never gotten the purpose of a crypt. Seems a waste of space. A friend died a number of years ago and we took his ashes to the cliffs in Palos Verdes, Ca and threw them over the edge. The wind caught them and the light play in the dust cloud was amazing as they wafted out to sea. That provided closure.

My experience with graves and tombstones is that in the weeks and months after the burial they are visited frequently. Within a year they are only visited on Christmas, Birthdays and anniversaries
Withing a few years they are forgotten and abandoned

You only have to walk around a graveyard and see who gets visited and who doesn't

And then there's all that adopocere and ground water pollution.

UGH.

What I would prefer is that I be dragged out and propped up against a tree. I like the idea of becoming one with nature again and I really like that I would become part of the wild life I so love. That's not going to happen so I opt for cremation. No formaldehyde, just set me on fire.

If I get buried, I have two friends who have promised to make sure I get dug up.

If I were to want to be buried and nothing is more repulsive and disgusting to me, I would go for a green burial. I helped prepare a body for green burial. Not easy to deal with but certainly more real and loving than sending a loved one's body off to a mortuary.

JMO.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I have now been to two funerals in the last 7 weeks where a loved one was cremated.

Both were very, very sad events.

In the case of the death of my brother-in-law, the memorial service (open casket) was on a Saturday; the ashes were given over to my sister on the Thursday following. In many ways, the Thursday was even harder for her.
We literally relived the funeral all over again on that Thursday.

In Germany, three weeks ago, I went to a funeral for someone whom I cared about deeply. She was also cremated, but before the memorial and immediately after the memorial service, the urn was placed in a sort of family crypt.

My experience from there two funerals is that in the case of cremation, when the remains are sent home, it is as if one goes through a funeral all over again. No real sense of closure.

But in the case of a funeral where the urn is buried, for instance, in a crypt, there is indeed closure.

These events have given me pause as to how I want to be buried when my time comes, hopefully, first in many years from now.

What are your thoughts about cremation? Closure, or no closure?

There are no political overtones at all in this OP and probably just as few religious overtones, just to note.

For me, personally? Cremation.

The last thing I need to take up after I'm dead is real estate.

Graveyards, cemetaries are an abomination.

Poisoning the earth with adopocere and the worst chemicals imaginable.

 

[skye]

But now, sticking with the actual intent of the OP:

does Cremation provide a real sense of closure for those left behind, or not? Or does that depend on when the Cremation is done?

In my mind...for me ...it does gives a sense of closure.

I will be cremated, those are my wishes when the day comes.

I can not imagine ever having closure if you leave the body there in a box, under the earth ....to desintegrate according to time ...have you ever seen .....well ...I wont ask is too gross....but you know what I mean

When you burn....ashes return to ashes...no smell no ugliness no horror in the mind.

My 2 cent as usual.

Happy New Year!!!!!! LOL

 

[Luddly Neddite]

In a few years they can drop them off when a space ship leaves the orbit,,and we can float for a while...

Maybe get them shot into the sun

You can spare the expense of shooting them into the sun. Just put the ashes somewhere on Earth and wait the 10 billion years for the sun to expand and consume the Earth in the process. End result is the same: your atoms become one with a star.

Me, I want my body to go to medical research. If just one more discovery cane be made, or one medical student learn something from my mortal remains, it will be a fitting end to this scientist. My first choice is a body farm, when they throw my carcass into the elements and let animals eat and forensic scientists learn more about decomposition. It's carbon neutral, gives critters a good meal, and helps forensic scientists to learn a thing or two.

Body farm - Wikipedia the free encyclopedia
Body Farm

I couldn't agree more but my family would never let it happen.

I had willed my body to the UofA in Tucson, overseen by a Dr Dahmer, believe or not! UofA would transport within 100 miles but now, I'm too far from any medical facility to be able to make it happen.

As it is, I'm an organ donor. Take all you want - I'll have no need of any of it.

For those who are interested in how cadavers are used, read the book Stiff by Mary Roach. Its excellent.

 

[AVG-JOE]

But now, sticking with the actual intent of the OP:

does Cremation provide a real sense of closure for those left behind, or not? Or does that depend on when the Cremation is done?

I don't see how the method used in the disposal of the remains can affect closure. Unless you know damned well that the person wanted to be cremated and you choose to bury them for your own reasons. That could result in a sleepless night or two if not a haunting.

 

[jon_berzerk]

i am a complete organ donor

the leftovers get cremated

the living do as they may with the ashes

 

[skye]

The stages of human decomposition are horrible.

Enough said.

Who in their sane mind would want his/her body go through that?

Not moi.

 

[AVG-JOE]

To being a 21st American with choices!!

Happy New Year!!

 

[Caroljo]

I plan on having my ashes split into 7. I'll divide my family into 7 groups and ask each to dump one urn in each of the 7 seas thus forcing them to go see the world. Ah?

When my mother passed away, my dad took her ashes and put some in the woods behind their home, then took the rest when he went to Florida and put some in the Gulf of Mexico & some into the Atlantic.....she always wanted to see the world and he wanted to help . I want to be cremated....I told my kids they do whatever they have to to keep the cost down. It doesn't matter to me where my body is, it's just the shell. I won't be there any longer.

 

[saveliberty]

It isn't about me, I just want to honor the departed by completing a final act they wished.