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Congressional Black Caucus Rejects New Member [semi-satire?)

The Purge

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Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 June 2021 | John Semmens

The Congressional Black Caucus has determined that newly elected Rep. Byron Donalds (R-FL) cannot be a member because he is not a Democrat. Caucus Chair Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-OH) questioned Donald's blackness, alleging that "the fact that he is a Republican and a Trump supporter argues that he is not authentically black. As President Biden has pointed out on several occasions 'if you're a Republican, you ain't black."

Donalds objected to "the implication that all blacks must think alike when it comes to politics. Historically, it has been Democrats that have played the bigger role in suppressing the voices and well-being of blacks. Democrats were slave owners. Democrats started the deadliest war in American history to defend slavery. After losing that war Democrats implemented Jim Crow laws and terrorized blacks with the Ku Klux Klan lynch mobs. The modern Democrat policy of enticing blacks into welfare dependency is keeping our people down."

"I think it's long past due for blacks to be respected as persons who can think for themselves," Donalds said. "I'd like to introduce this concept to blacks who are in a position to accomplish this. The members of the Black Congressional Caucus have such a position. Blacks shouldn't have to settle for life on the welfare plantation. They need government policies that clear the way for them to achieve their ambitions. These policies include respect for individual accomplishment and a government that doesn't regulate them out of business or tax away their hard-earned money. I wanted an opportunity to voice my ideas to black leaders. But it looks like they have turned a deaf ear to my diversity."

"Given Rep. Donalds remarks, I think it should be clear to everyone why he doesn't belong in our caucus," Beatty said. "He is thinking and acting white. There are already more than enough of those kinds of people in Congress. Merit and achievement are racist dog whistles. Slaves have already worked hard enough for our people. It's time we get paid."

As Biden said, “If you don’t vote for me, you’re not black.”
 

White 6

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Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 June 2021 | John Semmens

The Congressional Black Caucus has determined that newly elected Rep. Byron Donalds (R-FL) cannot be a member because he is not a Democrat. Caucus Chair Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-OH) questioned Donald's blackness, alleging that "the fact that he is a Republican and a Trump supporter argues that he is not authentically black. As President Biden has pointed out on several occasions 'if you're a Republican, you ain't black."

Donalds objected to "the implication that all blacks must think alike when it comes to politics. Historically, it has been Democrats that have played the bigger role in suppressing the voices and well-being of blacks. Democrats were slave owners. Democrats started the deadliest war in American history to defend slavery. After losing that war Democrats implemented Jim Crow laws and terrorized blacks with the Ku Klux Klan lynch mobs. The modern Democrat policy of enticing blacks into welfare dependency is keeping our people down."

"I think it's long past due for blacks to be respected as persons who can think for themselves," Donalds said. "I'd like to introduce this concept to blacks who are in a position to accomplish this. The members of the Black Congressional Caucus have such a position. Blacks shouldn't have to settle for life on the welfare plantation. They need government policies that clear the way for them to achieve their ambitions. These policies include respect for individual accomplishment and a government that doesn't regulate them out of business or tax away their hard-earned money. I wanted an opportunity to voice my ideas to black leaders. But it looks like they have turned a deaf ear to my diversity."

"Given Rep. Donalds remarks, I think it should be clear to everyone why he doesn't belong in our caucus," Beatty said. "He is thinking and acting white. There are already more than enough of those kinds of people in Congress. Merit and achievement are racist dog whistles. Slaves have already worked hard enough for our people. It's time we get paid."

As Biden said, “If you don’t vote for me, you’re not black.”
I thought you were kidding and not a mainstream story.
1623553660030.png
 

emilynghiem

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Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 June 2021 | John Semmens

The Congressional Black Caucus has determined that newly elected Rep. Byron Donalds (R-FL) cannot be a member because he is not a Democrat. Caucus Chair Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-OH) questioned Donald's blackness, alleging that "the fact that he is a Republican and a Trump supporter argues that he is not authentically black. As President Biden has pointed out on several occasions 'if you're a Republican, you ain't black."

Donalds objected to "the implication that all blacks must think alike when it comes to politics. Historically, it has been Democrats that have played the bigger role in suppressing the voices and well-being of blacks. Democrats were slave owners. Democrats started the deadliest war in American history to defend slavery. After losing that war Democrats implemented Jim Crow laws and terrorized blacks with the Ku Klux Klan lynch mobs. The modern Democrat policy of enticing blacks into welfare dependency is keeping our people down."

"I think it's long past due for blacks to be respected as persons who can think for themselves," Donalds said. "I'd like to introduce this concept to blacks who are in a position to accomplish this. The members of the Black Congressional Caucus have such a position. Blacks shouldn't have to settle for life on the welfare plantation. They need government policies that clear the way for them to achieve their ambitions. These policies include respect for individual accomplishment and a government that doesn't regulate them out of business or tax away their hard-earned money. I wanted an opportunity to voice my ideas to black leaders. But it looks like they have turned a deaf ear to my diversity."

"Given Rep. Donalds remarks, I think it should be clear to everyone why he doesn't belong in our caucus," Beatty said. "He is thinking and acting white. There are already more than enough of those kinds of people in Congress. Merit and achievement are racist dog whistles. Slaves have already worked hard enough for our people. It's time we get paid."

As Biden said, “If you don’t vote for me, you’re not black.”
He should sue for discrimination based on creed.
 

Shelzin

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Wait... What?
 

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