- Banned
- #1
Lori "Little Dyke" Lightfoot, the mayorette of Chicago, has issued a statement praising all the ghetto gangbangers for practicing "social distancing" per the mayorette's pandemic declaration.
According to the Chicago Police Department, murders in Chicago have not declined during the lockdown. Indeed, the murder rate has risen over the past three weeks. However, presumably in order to obey the "social distancing" guidelines promulgated by "Little Dyke," the department notes that the shootings are taking place at greater distances than ever before. According to the department, previously the M. O. of the gangbangers was to take their pistols, turn them sideways (as all good gangbangers do), then stick the muzzle of the pistol onto the head or torso of the victim before pulling the trigger.
Over the past three weeks, however, the vast majority of the negroes who have been killed by their fellow gangbangers have been shot from a distance of approximately six feet. This has led to extremely high amounts of ammunition being used, as most gangbangers require at least eleven rounds to place only one bullet on the target at such a distance, but that is a small price to pay for social distancing.
Just think: The gangbangers might be murdering their fellow gangbangers from a distance of six feet now, but at least it goes a long way to prevent the victims from dying of coronavirus instead.
Asked to comment on this turn of events, "Little Dyke" said, "You bangers be doin' all 'de good now, en we heah in 'de guv'ment of Shytown do thanks all uvs you fo' mekkin' Shytown a beacon uv light fo' dat' dere social distancin."
According to the Chicago Police Department, murders in Chicago have not declined during the lockdown. Indeed, the murder rate has risen over the past three weeks. However, presumably in order to obey the "social distancing" guidelines promulgated by "Little Dyke," the department notes that the shootings are taking place at greater distances than ever before. According to the department, previously the M. O. of the gangbangers was to take their pistols, turn them sideways (as all good gangbangers do), then stick the muzzle of the pistol onto the head or torso of the victim before pulling the trigger.
Over the past three weeks, however, the vast majority of the negroes who have been killed by their fellow gangbangers have been shot from a distance of approximately six feet. This has led to extremely high amounts of ammunition being used, as most gangbangers require at least eleven rounds to place only one bullet on the target at such a distance, but that is a small price to pay for social distancing.
Just think: The gangbangers might be murdering their fellow gangbangers from a distance of six feet now, but at least it goes a long way to prevent the victims from dying of coronavirus instead.
Asked to comment on this turn of events, "Little Dyke" said, "You bangers be doin' all 'de good now, en we heah in 'de guv'ment of Shytown do thanks all uvs you fo' mekkin' Shytown a beacon uv light fo' dat' dere social distancin."
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