Catholic Church Distances Self From Pope Francis

[Votto]

Catholic Church Distances Self From Pope Francis
CHURCH·May 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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WORLD — After a series of shocking unbiblical statements from the Supreme Pontiff, the Catholic Church officially distanced itself from Pope Francis.

"Honestly, we're not sure how this guy got in here to begin with," said a spokesperson for the Vatican. "We think there was some kind of mistake with the vote counting or something. It's weird. It's possible we accidentally elected some guy off the street who never read a Bible and he's been kissing babies and determining our theology for years. Boy, wouldn't that be embarrassing!"

Sources from the Vatican confirmed that they are convening to discuss what to do with Francis, and whether they can replace him without causing a schism in the Roman Catholic church.

"Whatever we do, we should probably get rid of this guy and find someone qualified," said the spokesperson. "Yesterday, I asked him what his favorite Psalm was and he said 'Piano Man.' This is not good."

At publishing time, Francis promised he would make up for his statements and actually read the Bible once he had finished Das Kapital Volume III.

 

[Foxfyre]

Catholic Church Distances Self From Pope Francis
CHURCH·May 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

WORLD — After a series of shocking unbiblical statements from the Supreme Pontiff, the Catholic Church officially distanced itself from Pope Francis.

"Honestly, we're not sure how this guy got in here to begin with," said a spokesperson for the Vatican. "We think there was some kind of mistake with the vote counting or something. It's weird. It's possible we accidentally elected some guy off the street who never read a Bible and he's been kissing babies and determining our theology for years. Boy, wouldn't that be embarrassing!"

Sources from the Vatican confirmed that they are convening to discuss what to do with Francis, and whether they can replace him without causing a schism in the Roman Catholic church.

"Whatever we do, we should probably get rid of this guy and find someone qualified," said the spokesperson. "Yesterday, I asked him what his favorite Psalm was and he said 'Piano Man.' This is not good."

At publishing time, Francis promised he would make up for his statements and actually read the Bible once he had finished Das Kapital Volume III.

The Babylon Bee is so funny because there is always the element of fact in their satire. In fact all humor must have an element of truth in principle or fact in order to be funny.

I sometimes wonder if the Cardinals do question whether they got it wrong in elevating Francis to Pope given how far some of his ideas and edicts are from the beliefs and values of Catholics world wide. Though quiet and sometimes not so quiet opposition to the reigning Pope is pretty common throughout the history of the Roman Catholic Church.

And Francis's approval rating is pretty good among Catholics and non Catholics alike.

 

[forkintheroad7]

The Babylon Bee is so funny because there is always the element of fact in their satire. In fact all humor must have an element of truth in principle or fact in order to be funny.

I sometimes wonder if the Cardinals do question whether they got it wrong in elevating Francis to Pope given how far some of his ideas and edicts are from the beliefs and values of Catholics world wide. Though quiet and sometimes not so quiet opposition to the reigning Pope is pretty common throughout the history of the Roman Catholic Church.

And Francis's approval rating is pretty good among Catholics and non Catholics alike.

we haven't had a valid pope since 1958

Only Catholics understand this, and not even all of them... you have to delve into history to find these things out. JP the first was very likely murdered. A mafia hit man whose testimony hasn't, to my knowledge, been refuted, pointed his finger at "bishop" Markinkus being the murderer and the mafia dude was in the room when it happened, if I recall correctly...

After that it was virtually nothing but anti-christ "popes"

There are books on this