can a child be properly raised with two gay parents? - no bigot crap please

[blu]

What are the real long term effects of being raised by two gay parents? Obviously there are kids who become successful no matter the home, but I am talking about what gives the best chances. I have read 'studies' that argue for both sides of the debate, but I don't really trust the researchers in this area because the chance for bias is so high and because there will never be a formula that proves it right wrong.

Personally it seems very difficult to me for a kid to be raised properly in a house like this. The idea of daughters with 'daddy issues' gets joked about a lot, but it is a real problem and Id on't think no matter how much love came from two lesbian parents that this essential need will be made up for. There is also overwhelming statistics on issues with boys being raised by single moms in terms of crimes and other violent behaviour, and I don't see two women fixing this because the essential male role model isn't there. The downfalls run along the same path for a two men household. Boys often de velop serious issues in regards to women when their is no motherly precense around and they never became close to a woman while growing up. I also think kids see how their family is done and view that as 'natural' and I wonder how much that effects them when they start to envision their own family.

I think a non-'all gays will burn in hell' debate on this could be very interesting and I would like to hear from people who deal with this often or have done more research/thought into it.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

I am against Homosexual marriage. I believe Homosexuals are sinning by practicing their sexual actions.

Having said that, there is little reason to believe that a loving couple, of any sexual combination, can not, if they want to, raise children successfully.

I am NOT opposed to adoption for Homosexuals. I do not oppose Homosexuals from teaching or any other child intense field.

Just as those fields screen for potential problems from all other people, they need to be honest and screen homosexuals to ensure the person is not a looney tunes.

Can there be problems with homosexual couples? Of course there can, just as there can with straight couples. And hopefully adoption agencies are honestly screening for those tell tales.

It is not my place to deny a child or a couple a loving environment with child. When it comes to adoption that is the job of the agency running the program.

 

[chanel]

Of course gays can be good parents, But just like heteros they can be shitty parents too,

As long as they don't do drugs, they are ok by me. Druggies should not raise children - gay or straight.

 

[manifold]

Define properly.

 

[Luissa]

My friend who was raised by two lesbians has a good job, is a great father, and a very good person. SO yes, they can be good parents.

I was watching Rosie's special on her gay cruise and they featured gay men who had first adopted two children who's parents were drugs addicts(different parent), a year later they adopted one of the child's brother and sister after finding out they actually had siblings who were stuck in foster care, a few years later they the other child they had biological mother who was drug addict had another child and they adopted that one also. They are adopting the children people don't want, so why stop them from doing so.
And like Chanel said heterosexual and homosexual parents can be bad parents and it has nothing to do with their sexual preferences.

 

[Truthspeaker]

The question is not whether it CAN be done but whether it SHOULD be done. In my opinion, no matter how good a gay person is, it is terribly selfish to want to raise a child in that environment. I believe in their struggle for "equality" they set a terrible precedent by raising a child in an incredibly confusing environment.
It is not up for debate which method is better. It is already clear that it is better to have straight parents than gay guardians. From the moment they start learning, they are taught that gay unions are equal to legit marriages. The questions that arise in a child's mind must be horribly frustrating as outside influences begin to implant in the child's mind. Children should be focused on developing their personalities and skills while receiving balanced love from a mother and father in their highly impressionable youth.
They shouldn't be forced to grow up with guardians forcing an agenda on them. And it IS forced, believe you me. Even if they aren't forceful people. The fact that they think it is ok to raise youth in the gay environment is arrogant, selfish and wrong.
Arrogant because they think they know better than thousands of years of history proving their position wrong. Selfish because they do this trying to prove something, taking advantage of the impressionable youth's state of mind. Wrong because deep down inside everyone's heart, they know it is a poisonous environment.

 

[rightwinger]

The answer is yes. It may be more difficult in some aspects, but the child is still better off than in some heterosexual situations.

 

[del]

The question is not whether it CAN be done but whether it SHOULD be done. In my opinion, no matter how good a gay person is, it is terribly selfish to want to raise a child in that environment. I believe in their struggle for "equality" they set a terrible precedent by raising a child in an incredibly confusing environment.
It is not up for debate which method is better. It is already clear that it is better to have straight parents than gay guardians. From the moment they start learning, they are taught that gay unions are equal to legit marriages. The questions that arise in a child's mind must be horribly frustrating as outside influences begin to implant in the child's mind. Children should be focused on developing their personalities and skills while receiving balanced love from a mother and father in their highly impressionable youth.
They shouldn't be forced to grow up with guardians forcing an agenda on them. And it IS forced, believe you me. Even if they aren't forceful people. The fact that they think it is ok to raise youth in the gay environment is arrogant, selfish and wrong.
Arrogant because they think they know better than thousands of years of history proving their position wrong. Selfish because they do this trying to prove something, taking advantage of the impressionable youth's state of mind. Wrong because deep down inside everyone's heart, they know it is a poisonous environment.

speaking of arrogant, selfish and wrong...

 

[Truthspeaker]

The question is not whether it CAN be done but whether it SHOULD be done. In my opinion, no matter how good a gay person is, it is terribly selfish to want to raise a child in that environment. I believe in their struggle for "equality" they set a terrible precedent by raising a child in an incredibly confusing environment.
It is not up for debate which method is better. It is already clear that it is better to have straight parents than gay guardians. From the moment they start learning, they are taught that gay unions are equal to legit marriages. The questions that arise in a child's mind must be horribly frustrating as outside influences begin to implant in the child's mind. Children should be focused on developing their personalities and skills while receiving balanced love from a mother and father in their highly impressionable youth.
They shouldn't be forced to grow up with guardians forcing an agenda on them. And it IS forced, believe you me. Even if they aren't forceful people. The fact that they think it is ok to raise youth in the gay environment is arrogant, selfish and wrong.
Arrogant because they think they know better than thousands of years of history proving their position wrong. Selfish because they do this trying to prove something, taking advantage of the impressionable youth's state of mind. Wrong because deep down inside everyone's heart, they know it is a poisonous environment.

speaking of arrogant, selfish and wrong...

Glad you showed up...

 

[manu1959]

it is just as likley to have good results as any other environment....

 

[xotoxi]

The answer is yes. It may be more difficult in some aspects, but the child is still better off than in some heterosexual situations.

They certainly would be better off than those kids in Detroit who's parents want to sue the teachers.

Those kids are learning about heterosexual sex, but are also learning how to properly blame everyone else for their personal failings.

 

[Sunni Man]

Allowing a child to be adopted or raised in a gay household is the worst form of child abuse I can think of.

It would be a stroke of luck for the child to grow up mentally healthy and well adjusted.

Plus, a allowing gays to raise a child is like letting the fox in the hen house.

 

[blu]

Allowing a child to be adopted or raised in a gay household is the worst form of child abuse I can think of.

It would be a stroke of luck for the child to grow up mentally healthy and well adjusted.

Plus, a allowing gays to raise a child is like letting the fox in the hen house.

are you really advocating that all gay people are pedophiles? its a clear sign of ignorance when someone pushes that point

 

[blu]

After reading the replies I guess the idea of whether it gives the best chance or not doesn't really matter because even straight couples raise kids in really horrible ways and I know that there are succesful people now raised by gay parents. I was more looking for a researched back position on it (which may not even be available yet depending on when these studies started) because it would be intersting to see how kids raised by gay parents evaluate things like straight couples, pregnancy, exposure/promotion of homosexual to children, roles of parents and the different sexes in the family unit, etc.

 

[manu1959]

Allowing a child to be adopted or raised in a gay household is the worst form of child abuse I can think of.

It would be a stroke of luck for the child to grow up mentally healthy and well adjusted.

Plus, a allowing gays to raise a child is like letting the fox in the hen house.

are you really advocating that all gay people are pedophiles? its a clear sign of ignorance when someone pushes that point

can you point out in his post where he used the term pedophile....because making shit up is pretty ignorant....

 

[blu]

Allowing a child to be adopted or raised in a gay household is the worst form of child abuse I can think of.

It would be a stroke of luck for the child to grow up mentally healthy and well adjusted.

Plus, a allowing gays to raise a child is like letting the fox in the hen house.

are you really advocating that all gay people are pedophiles? its a clear sign of ignorance when someone pushes that point

can you point out in his post where he used the term pedophile....because making shit up is pretty ignorant....

the phrase "Plus, a allowing gays to raise a child is like letting the fox in the hen house. " used in the context he did has been used numerous times as a veiled thought that all gay people are pedophiles.

 

[del]

The question is not whether it CAN be done but whether it SHOULD be done. In my opinion, no matter how good a gay person is, it is terribly selfish to want to raise a child in that environment. I believe in their struggle for "equality" they set a terrible precedent by raising a child in an incredibly confusing environment.
It is not up for debate which method is better. It is already clear that it is better to have straight parents than gay guardians. From the moment they start learning, they are taught that gay unions are equal to legit marriages. The questions that arise in a child's mind must be horribly frustrating as outside influences begin to implant in the child's mind. Children should be focused on developing their personalities and skills while receiving balanced love from a mother and father in their highly impressionable youth.
They shouldn't be forced to grow up with guardians forcing an agenda on them. And it IS forced, believe you me. Even if they aren't forceful people. The fact that they think it is ok to raise youth in the gay environment is arrogant, selfish and wrong.
Arrogant because they think they know better than thousands of years of history proving their position wrong. Selfish because they do this trying to prove something, taking advantage of the impressionable youth's state of mind. Wrong because deep down inside everyone's heart, they know it is a poisonous environment.

speaking of arrogant, selfish and wrong...

Glad you showed up...

i wouldn't miss your pontification for the world.

how's the magic u-trou treating you?

 

[JD_2B]

What are the real long term effects of being raised by two gay parents? Obviously there are kids who become successful no matter the home, but I am talking about what gives the best chances. I have read 'studies' that argue for both sides of the debate, but I don't really trust the researchers in this area because the chance for bias is so high and because there will never be a formula that proves it right wrong.

Personally it seems very difficult to me for a kid to be raised properly in a house like this. The idea of daughters with 'daddy issues' gets joked about a lot, but it is a real problem and Id on't think no matter how much love came from two lesbian parents that this essential need will be made up for. There is also overwhelming statistics on issues with boys being raised by single moms in terms of crimes and other violent behaviour, and I don't see two women fixing this because the essential male role model isn't there. The downfalls run along the same path for a two men household. Boys often de velop serious issues in regards to women when their is no motherly precense around and they never became close to a woman while growing up. I also think kids see how their family is done and view that as 'natural' and I wonder how much that effects them when they start to envision their own family.

I think a non-'all gays will burn in hell' debate on this could be very interesting and I would like to hear from people who deal with this often or have done more research/thought into it.

The way I see it, sexual orientation plays little, if any role in the upbringing of children. I have seen some really happy, well adjusted children from homosexual homes, and some really screwed up kids from hetero homes.

I don't give a fuck whether the kid comes from a mom who dresses like a man, and a dad who dresses like a woman, or a couple of stuntmen, or circus freaks, even- raising a child has nothing to do with one's personal lifestyle choices, and everything to do with loving and providing for that child, the three needs- food shelter and clothing, as well as providing guidance and support in the child's own endeavors, whatever those might be.

You see kids (usually on TV, because most parents aren't this supportive) climbing walls and stuff, because their dad is a stunt double somewhere, or kids doing awesome tricks on their bicycles, etc.. This is because their parents are supportive. A person does not have to be straight to support and encourage their child. Being a parent is much easier than people seem to want to make it out to be. We are ALL wingin' it, here.. Nobody really knows what the fuck is coming next, so all any of us can really do is try to encourage good habits, and high self esteem in our children.

Giving a child the RIGHT to be THEMSELVES is a gift that MANY parents fail to do. I think, because of this, that lesbian and gay parents might actually be BETTER parents than straights, because they tend to be more broad-minded and supportive, emotionally. Admittedly there may be certain psychological issues, but those issues will be there any way.. Like lacking a dad and having two lesbians as parents. Well, 2 is better than one, anyways. If the dad is not around, the dad is not around, and it makes not a hill of beans difference that there is an extra female in the house. I mean, two gay dads will not affect the kid, as long as mom is involved, too. And if the other parent is dead or in and out of jail, or just not participating in the kid's life, then two same sex parents ARE STILL better than just having one parent, and whatever issues the kid has over missing the other biological parent are still going to exist anyways..

So whatev. =)

 

[Truthspeaker]

speaking of arrogant, selfish and wrong...

Glad you showed up...

i wouldn't miss your pontification for the world.

how's the magic u-trou treating you?

I don't know what the u-trou is but if you want more of my words, come to my other thread and chime in a little more

 

[jillian]

can you point out in his post where he used the term pedophile....because making shit up is pretty ignorant....

how 'bout the term "fox in the henhouse". how would you construe that?