Calling all parents

[Said1]

I have two neighbours with toddlers the same age. Both parents brought their kids over to my house so they could play in the water and with the water guns in the huge bucket I filled with water for my child, and the four other children I babysit.

After several minutes, one parent asked where I had bought so many guns and wanted to buy his son the same package. The other asked if I had something else her son could play with because guns are violent and children shouldn't play with guuns regardless of the nature of the game/play (both babies are about 18 months old). Then she went on to say that you should start restricting their exposure to violence as young as possible so they will not become de-sensitized to violence and become violent as they grow up. I laughed in her face. She picked up her son in a huff and left. Both myself and the other parent went on to laugh at her for quite some time.

I think kids should be allowed to play with water guns. Any thoughts, opinions?

 

[Trinity]

I have two neighbours with toddlers the same age. Both parents brought their kids over to my house so they could play in the water and with the water guns in the huge bucket I filled with water for my child, and the four other children I babysit.

After several minutes, one parent asked where I had bought so many guns and wanted to buy his son the same package. The other asked if I had something else her son could play with because guns are violent and children shouldn't play with guuns regardless of the nature of the game/play (both babies are about 18 months old). Then she went on to say that you should start restricting their exposure to violence as young as possible so they will not become de-sensitized to violence and become violent as they grow up. I laughed in her face. She picked up her son in a huff and left. Both myself and the other parent went on to laugh at her for quite some time.

I think kids should be allowed to play with water guns. Any thoughts, opinions?

I had the same theory when my boy's were younger, until I discovered they were finding other toy's and pretending they were guns, there went that theory out the window!!

 

[Said1]

I had the same theory when my boy's were younger, until I discovered they were finding other toy's and pretending they were guns, there went that theory out the window!!

Setting some rules pertaining to what is and isn't acceptable is important, but you're right, they almost become obsessed with guns. They'll l eat their toast into the shape of a gun if they have to!

I don't have any other toy guns aside from water guns, this is because they don't pick them at the toy store. They are allowed to, they just don't. I will say this though, despite the lack of toy guns, they build some neat ones with mega lego! And why do they always shoot me? :shocked:

 

[Shattered]

I think she's got a valid point, in that kids become too desensitized far too early due to the nature of the toys they play with, and what they see on TV (even in cartoons) - I wouldn't have laughed in her face, and think that's exceptionally rude and catty given that you're BOTH parents, and obviously want what's best for your kids, regardless of your differences in opinion..

However, explaining things to kids in detail (this particular gun is a toy for ..blah blah blah, BUT...blah blah blah..) goes a long way in dictating their behavior with such toys.

 

[Said1]

I think she's got a valid point, in that kids become too desensitized far too early due to the nature of the toys they play with, and what they see on TV (even in cartoons) - I wouldn't have laughed in her face, and think that's exceptionally rude and catty given that you're BOTH parents, and obviously want what's best for your kids, regardless of your differences in opinion..

However, explaining things to kids in detail (this particular gun is a toy for ..blah blah blah, BUT...blah blah blah..) goes a long way in dictating their behavior with such toys.

Sure she has a valid point, and she also didn't take into account our parenting skills, and extensive experience with things of that nature. If she was that concerned, she should have stayed in her own 'watergun free" yard, instead of coming over, univited and snubbing the toys I had out for the OLDER children. I'm not responsible for her son's playtime.

 

[GotZoom]

Gabriella84 is your neighbor?

 

[Shattered]

Sure she has a valid point, and she also didn't take into account our parenting skills, and extensive experience with things of that nature. If she was that concerned, she should have stayed in her own 'watergun free" yard, instead of coming over, univited and snubbing the toys I had out for the OLDER children. I'm not responsible for her son's playtime.

You left out the part wherein she came over uninvited.. *THAT* was rude, and I'd probably have said something to her about that as well.

 

[Said1]

You left out the part wherein she came over uninvited.. *THAT* was rude, and I'd probably have said something to her about that as well.

My bad, forgotten detail. I'm actually VERY surprised she came over and mingled with the peasents in the first place.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

LOL
Said1. I'm so glad you laughed in that stupid bitch's face.

 

[Said1]

LOL
Said1. I'm so glad you laughed in that stupid bitch's face.

Under the right circumstances, I would agree, but not in this case.
Oh well, New Mother Syndrom, she'll get over it all parents do eventually.

 

[Joz]

Invited or not.....if she didn't agree with your choices, she should have left. Or found another way of amusing HER CHILD without inflicting her disdain on the others.
I have done such when other parents are allowing their children particpate in an activity I did not want my kids to do. It's not hard, even to a toddler, to explain to them you do not want them doing____________, and distracting them with something else equally as fun.

As far as the gun issue.......

I don't believe toys are the culprit here. I played with guns, (both water & others),trucks, climbed trees. My boys had guns & dolls. By this reasoning....we should all be violent queers.

 

[5stringJeff]

I think that you did the right thing, Said. It's her issue, not yours. If she had brought it up beforehand, that would have been one thing.

 

[manu1959]

I think kids should be allowed to play with water guns. Any thoughts, opinions?

i played with real guns and owned real guns and shot real guns as young as 3rd grade....

i learned that real guns can kill you and that toy guns were toys.

i learned respect for guns....

anyone will tell you that if you dreprive children of pretty much anything it craets a shroud of mystery around it and will make them obsess about it and sneak it....from food to video games to whatever..... parents should teach their children how to deal with the things that exist in the real world....

 

[WeAreLegion]

Then she went on to say that you should start restricting their exposure to violence as young as possible so they will not become de-sensitized to violence and become violent as they grow up.

When I was very young I used to go deerhunting with my grandfather. The act of killing another creature did not increase my bloodlust as your neighbor would undoubtedly say that it would. What it did was give me a respect for life and it showed me what a gun could do to a living creature. Most people who go to war and have to kill, come back wanting very little to do with guns (unless of course necessity arises).

All that aside, there is very little correlation between the desire to soak someone with a water gun and the desire to put a bullet into their brain and kill them dead. The motivations are so dissimilar that they're not comparable.

My advice? Get the kid a super soaker... those things are a blast (pun intended).

 

[no1tovote4]

It would be wrong for me to go to your house and tell you how to raise your children. She deserved more than a laugh in the face, a nice lecture on manners would be more along the lines of what she deserved. Embarassment in the face of her own rudeness will have to do.

I remember a friend who bought "gender nuetral" toys for her kids. The little girl pretended her blocks were babies, the little boy would make anything at all into "guns" and shoot. They finally gave up.

 

[Nienna]

Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

I probably would not have laughed in her face, because I am a very non-confrontational kind of person. She had a lot of matza to come over to your house uninvited, reject your entertainment, and then expect you to find alternative entertainment for her child. I probably would have said something like, "Those are very interesting theories," and turned my back on her in that catty, womanesque way.

 

[no1tovote4]

Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

I probably would not have laughed in her face, because I am a very non-confrontational kind of person. She had a lot of matza to come over to your house uninvited, reject your entertainment, and then expect you to find alternative entertainment for her child. I probably would have said something like, "Those are very interesting theories," and turned my back on her in that catty, womanesque way.

Sounds like my wife. She would be embarrassed when I put in my $0.02.

Excuse me! Why did you come over here? If you think you are superior, go and spend time with other "superior" people, if not then don't give me your opinion about my children when I haven't asked for it! This isn't violence it is water. Attempt to shelter your child from reality if you wish, it will only make them unsuccessful in life as they will be unable to work within the actual confines of society. You can speak of your "superior" child-rearing skills to your husband or somebody else who wants to hear your spew, and then beg your child's forgiveness when they cannot cope with the world you will send them into.

 

[Nienna]

My first boy, Davy, was born after two older sisters, and our house was inundated with Barbies, dolls, toy kitchens, etc. The poor kid even had to drink out of pink and purple sippy cups.

He played Barbies with the girls, but, while the girls' dolls were busy putting their babies down for naps, Davy's (suicidal) doll would catapult herself from the dollhouse roof, or fall prey to the evil DavyMonster who would bash her helpless body against the wall. In his quieter moods, he liked to dress and undress the dolls. He's the grandson of an engineer, and he was interested in how the snaps and Velcro worked.

Now at age 5, he is an avid fisherman and frog collector.

My point: It's born in them. Even surrounded by "girl" stuff, he found ways to express the excess of testosterone pulsing through his veins.

As for violence, all people are born selfish, violent, evil, as the spark flies upward. It's ludicrous to think of a water gun as violent IMO, but even if given knives, guns, etc, kids are still capable of being taught to respect, even protect the weak and the innocent. IMHO, it should be a part of the initiation of every boy to understand his strength and capacity for violence, and also to understand his reponsibility for controlling himself and protecting others.

 

[Nienna]

Sounds like my wife. She would be embarrassed when I put in my $0.02.

Excuse me! Why did you come over here? If you think you are superior, go and spend time with other "superior" people, if not then don't give me your opinion about my children when I haven't asked for it! This isn't violence it is water. Attempt to shelter your child from reality if you wish, it will only make them unsuccessful in life as they will be unable to work within the actual confines of society. You can speak of your "superior" child-rearing skills to your husband or somebody else who wants to hear your spew, and then beg your child's forgiveness when they cannot cope with the world you will send them into.

OUCH! :wince: But very very true!

 

[dmp]

I can't prove it, but I'd bet money Kids are more likely to die as the result of being in a CAR than they would be as the victims of gun violence. We let our kids play with toy cars all the time. I could show you the SERIOUS un-safe manuevers my son pulls whilst playing with his hotwheels.