Biden and Trump agree to presidential debates in June on CNN and in September on ABC

[Votto]

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump on Wednesday agreed to hold two campaign debates — the first on June 27 hosted by CNN and the second on Sept. 10 hosted by ABC — setting the stage for the first presidential face-off in just weeks.

Here are the ground rules

1. No dying on stage. These two are the oldest in Presidential history with a combined age surpassing the age of the universe. Dying on stage will only be permitted if Biden picks another more palatable VP as well as Trump choosing one, at which point dying on stage will be encouraged.

2. No poopy pants. Again, old, old, old, and ya know, less sphincter control. Diapers are mandated, however, double diapers for Joe Biden for obvious reasons.

3. No poopy talk. "F" bombs like Kamala gives with every other breath will be frowned upon. Act Presidential after all and not a cackling crack whore like Kamala. Thus both poopy pants and poopy talk will be prohibited. However, head locks, blows below the belt, and running body slams will be allowed once the debate commences. Viewers need entertained after all since polls show that the average voter loves professional wrestling for whatever reason and have an attention span of a brain-dead gnat as evidence from previous election results.

4. Moderators must be castrated Eunuchs that have never voted ever in their lives. They must be neutral on everything, have no opinions, and basically be brain dead. Naturally, the moderated will be pro-democrat instead like they always are, but will still fill the criteria for being brain dead.

5. New additional swimsuit category will be required like they are at the end like they are at every Miss Universe competition. You know, inclusion, diversity, blah, blah blah, just like the gals Actually, if the truth be known, Joe insisted on this mumbling something about showing his hairy legs to the kiddos.

 

[1srelluc]

 

[Votto]

DISCLOSURE FOR DEMOCRATS.

1. No, I did not cite the Bee for this work because it is my own. Thanks for asking and your concern.
2. Yes, we realize it is not funny and that satire does not actually exist in the universe in which your minds occupies. Thanks Joe.
3. Yes, I did pick on Biden more because he seems to suck so much more, at least according to the polls. You know, democracy rules. Anything to preserve democracy.

 

[TheParser]

1. President Biden's advisers will find some way to cancel the debates.

2. I hope so.

3. No decent human being wants to see President Biden utterly confused and stumbling around the stage.

4. Because of his age and severe acuity challenges, he simply cannot "debate" anyone. It is not his fault. General de Gaulle once described old age as a "ship wreck." As an 87-year-old, I readily agree.

5. I am very sorry that Dr. Biden did not step in and stop such foolishness.

6. (Former) President Trump is not known for being a particularly sensitive soul, but even he would be touched by President Biden's inability to "debate."

7. The scene could become so pathetic that the TV cameras would be turned off, as President Biden is gently led off stage by (former) President Trump.

 

[Votto]

1. President Biden's advisers will find some way to cancel the debates.

2. I hope so.

3. No decent human being wants to see President Biden utterly confused and stumbling around the stage.

4. Because of his age and severe acuity challenges, he simply cannot "debate" anyone. It is not his fault. General de Gaulle once described old age as a "ship wreck." As an 87-year-old, I readily agree.

5. I am very sorry that Dr. Biden did not step in and stop such foolishness.

6. (Former) President Trump is not known for being a particularly sensitive soul, but even he would be touched by President Biden's inability to "debate."

7. The scene could become so pathetic that the TV cameras would be turned off, as President Biden is gently led off stage by (former) President Trump.

A killer would be for Trump to be nice to Joe as Joe stumbles and mumbles around the stage incoherently, treating him like his grandpa.

But that just is not Trump.

 

[Lisa558]

View attachment 947208

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump on Wednesday agreed to hold two campaign debates — the first on June 27 hosted by CNN and the second on Sept. 10 hosted by ABC — setting the stage for the first presidential face-off in just weeks.

Here are the ground rules

1. No dying on stage. These two are the oldest in Presidential history with a combined age surpassing the age of the universe. Dying on stage will only be permitted if Biden picks another more palatable VP as well as Trump choosing one, at which point dying on stage will be encouraged.

2. No poopy pants. Again, old, old, old, and ya know, less sphincter control. Diapers are mandated, however, double diapers for Joe Biden for obvious reasons.

3. No poopy talk. "F" bombs like Kamala gives with every other breath will be frowned upon. Act Presidential after all and not a cackling crack whore like Kamala. Thus both poopy pants and poopy talk will be prohibited. However, head locks, blows below the belt, and running body slams will be allowed once the debate commences. Viewers need entertained after all since polls show that the average voter loves professional wrestling for whatever reason and have an attention span of a brain-dead gnat as evidence from previous election results.

4. Moderators must be castrated Eunuchs that have never voted ever in their lives. They must be neutral on everything, have no opinions, and basically be brain dead. Naturally, the moderated will be pro-democrat instead like they always are, but will still fill the criteria for being brain dead.

5. New additional swimsuit category will be required like they are at the end like they are at every Miss Universe competition. You know, inclusion, diversity, blah, blah blah, just like the gals Actually, if the truth be known, Joe insisted on this mumbling something about showing his hairy legs to the kiddos.

Actually, Biden wants just left-wing moderators who will rescue him and go on the attack against Trump.

 

[Votto]

Actually, Biden wants just left-wing moderators who will rescue him and go on the attack against Trump.

All that is left of the DNC is "Orange man bad"

Literally, its all they have